scribblinlenore | My world turned upside down

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My world turned upside down

I've always hated the Lexana. Railed against it. Shuddered at the thought of it.

But then, I read the discussion over on

lexluvsclark's LJ. And that made me rethink the value of mean Lexana fanfic. Cheap substitute, sublimation, the smackdown (as Ingrid put it) that Lana has coming. It really started to appeal.

So I wrote some. Mild spoilers for Visitor. And, you know, as the title says, it is mean.

Mean Lexana Snippet

Lana can't hear what they're talking about. But she can see that they're only pretending to have a friendly conversation. They do that so much these days it's getting difficult to remember when the smiles were genuine. Lex has that hard glint in his eyes, leaning into Clark's space at an aggressive angle. Clark's expression is mildly stunned, as if he is being subjected to constant, low-level electrical shock.

The boy just can't handle questions, Lana thinks. He goes all deer-eyed even when she's the one doing the asking. Never mind when it's Lex.

Clark squirms out of his chair, beats a hasty retreat. Lex, always strategic, changes tactics. Glides after Clark the way a star dancer might move across the stage. Or a viper slither after its victim. His expression is both calculating and conciliatory.

"I hear Lana is stabling her horse at your house," he says.

"Yeah. He's really important to her. And she didn't have anywhere else to keep him."

"Funny. I offered her the use of the stables at the mansion. No charge. She turned me down. I guess she had her sights set elsewhere."

Clark's face brightens, and Lana gets that familiar little flutter in the pit of her stomach. She knows where it leads when Lex talks about her to Clark. She hurries back to the office and waits.

After a while, Lex joins her.

The first time they had sex was subtle, slow. It started simply, with his hand on her shoulder as he leaned in to look at the books, the brush of his sleeve across her breasts, his thigh pressed against hers as he reached for the whiteout. Each touch led inevitably to the next, until she was half draped across his lap, his tongue in her mouth, until she was spread out on the desk, losing her virginity on a stack of purchase orders.

It's never been like that again.

Now Lex is always impatient. He doesn't bother with formalities, like saying hello, just puts his hand under her skirt, slides his fingers up her thigh, between her legs. She's stopped wearing underwear to work, just for occasions like this.

He slips his fingers inside her. She's ready, and that makes him smile. She'd like to tell him that she's been wet since he got to the Talon, since she first heard his voice. That she's been excited all afternoon just thinking that he might stop by.

But she hates the sarcastic smirk he gets when she says things like that. She stays quiet. Lets him do whatever he wants. She always does. That's the real reason she wouldn't keep her horse at his stable. She's afraid what she might let him do if he ever got her completely alone.

He takes a condom out of the desk drawer where they keep them much to Lana's embarrassment and rolls it on. Pushes up her skirt, lifts her and presses her back against the wall. She instinctively wraps her legs around his waist, her arms around his neck. He pushes inside her with one hard thrust, and she gasps out loud.

She always makes too much noise. She can't help it. The waitresses give her snide looks, and she's pretty sure they know. God. Anybody could. Lex won't touch her unless the door's unlocked. He likes to live dangerously. Or maybe he just hopes Clark will walk in on them some day.

Because that's who he's really fucking. Lana isn't some airheaded cheerleader, no matter what anybody thinks. None of them can have what they actually want--not her or Lex or Clark. But Lex can have the object of his object. And she can have Lex's cock. When he's fucking her, that seems like enough.

He moves faster, and she bucks up into every thrust, rubbing against him, whimpering.

"Say it." His voice a low growl in her ear.

He likes to make her talk. Sometimes about herself, how she thinks about him when she touches herself, the dirty, wrong things she imagines him doing to her.

Sometimes, though, he wants to hear other things. It's what he wants now. She can always tell. She closes her eyes. She doesn't want to say it, but she will. She will.

This is why she never goes to see him at the mansion. She would do anything for him. She knows she would. Suck him off in the middle of the stables wearing nothing but her riding boots. Whatever he asked for, whatever it might cost her.

She wouldn't have guessed she'd enjoy humiliation this much, although it's no surprise that Lex likes to dole it out. A part of him hates her, she knows. Because she can have Clark and doesn't want him. Because no matter how many times he fucks her, she still won't be the green-eyed boy of his dreams.

"Say it." More commanding, more urgent.

"Clark," she whispers.

"Like you mean it."

He reaches between their bodies and strokes her clitoris. Colored lights flash behind her closed eyes. Hot pleasure sparkles up her spine.

"Clark," she moans. "God, Clark. Fuck me. Please, fuck me. Clark."

"Yeah, yeah," he says, his breath coming hard and fast.

"Clark."

Breathy and desperate, just the way he likes it, and she gets her reward, his fingers, moving, wiggling, doing that indescribable thing that makes her eyes roll back in her head. He grunts and lifts her up higher. He's very close, but she's closer. She tightens her legs around him so hard she must be cutting off his breath, but she doesn't care. Her head bangs against the wall, and she's coming, blindingly. And then he is, shoving wildly inside her, as if he wants to fuck her right through the plaster.

Afterwards, he takes a moment to catch his breath, and then he's putting her down. Zipping up. Smoothing away the wrinkles her scrabbling fingers left on his shirt. This is the part she hates. When he goes back to being impervious. When he gets that sardonic smile on his face.

"See you next time."

He saunters out of the office, and she sits down heavily at the desk. She's not going to do this anymore. She can't. She really means it this time. Maybe she could leave Smallville, go live with Nell in Metropolis. Or find a way to buy Lex out of the Talon. Maybe even tell Clark.

Or maybe. Just maybe. She'll find a way to make him forget someday, make him love her instead.

Maybe. That's what she always tells herself.

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Yay! Mean Lexana! Wonderful, mean Lexana. Love it, Lenore.

Thanks, Elizabeth! I think maybe I've turned to the dark side along with Lex. *g*

Is it wrong for me to still feel sympathetic toward Lex?

'Cause I still do.

And is it wrong that this is the only way I really buy Lexana is one of these three ways?--Lex has to be using her to get to Clark, using her to get Clark, or pretending she is Clark?

See, now I don't think it is. *g*

Niiiiiiccceeee, Lenore.

Is it wrong for me to still feel sympathetic toward Lex?

Not at all, doll. I mean, if you have to choose between feeling sympathy for Lex and sympathy for Lana, I feel pretty sure you can never go wrong with choosing Lex. :)

*hugs Madelyn* I'm glad you thought it worked. My new brand of denial is: "He's not bad. He's just acting out because of his frustrated homoerotic desire."

Oh, yeah. I love a *real* love triangle, not that sublimated two-guys-after-one-girl stuff, the classic love water molecule. And I really like the idea that Lana is stabling her horse where it's less dangerous for her, even though she's got to know that she's only raising false hopes in Clark.

the classic love water molecule

I am such a chemistry nerd. This is the perfect way to describe those watered-down (if you'll pardon the pun) love triangles that don't have all the necessary legs.

Thanks, Rivka! Glad you liked it. :) I can't really buy Lex having any interest in Lana that doesn't somehow tie back to Clark. So this was really the only kind of Lexana I could imagine.

And I really like the idea that Lana is stabling her horse where it's less dangerous for her, even though she's got to know that she's only raising false hopes in Clark.

I definitely see Lana as a take-care-of-herself-first kind of gal. And I think she's happy to have Clark worship her from afar.

Neh! You made me read Lex/Lana, and I ... sort of... cough liked it. But only because it was mean. And all about the big gay obsession. Because that phrase is now burned into my brain.

Neh! You made me read Lex/Lana, and I ... sort of... cough liked it.

I feel this way about Ingrid. She made me write Lexana. And I kind of enjoyed it. *frowns, not sure how to feel about that*

And all about the big gay obsession.

It will always be about the big gay obsession. No matter what happens. I think this is a very good coping strategy. *g*

Thanks for reading my bad!wrong fic, Punk!

Oh man. I like it. Like...a lot. All hot and creepy. Why is Lex so sexy when he's creepy? You made me like Lexana! That's just so evil!

You made me like Lexana! That's just so evil!

Mwah-ha-ha! You know, I've decided if you can beat 'em join 'em. So I'm going to the dark side too. *g*

Glad you liked it! Er, well-- even if it was against your better judgment. *g*

Jeez..that was powerful... I usually don't read het, but I had to check it out because I remebered the conversation on your journal about the Lex/Lana hate awhile ago and wanted to see what you came up with.

I was not disapointed. Your writing is always very good and that certainly held true here. Maybe this sounds strange, but the reason I usually don't read het fics is because they can just...well be so gross(not that all slash avoids that, but it seems more prevelant in het) However you managed to get across the twistedness of this relationship and a sex scene without squiking me. As a matter of fact it was sexy in a disturbing way. I have to admit to wanting to know what would happen if Clark found out... and what is Lex really thinking? I'm intrigued!

Hi, Brandy! Thanks for taking a chance on my bad!wrong fic. :)

I usually don't read het, but I had to check it out because I remebered the conversation on your journal about the Lex/Lana hate awhile ago and wanted to see what you came up with.

I don't usually read het, either. So it's weird that I would write it, especially Lexana. You know how much I hate the idea of it. But I could really see how it could be a way for Lex to sublimate his desire for Clark. And that seemed kind of sexy in a twisted way.

I have to admit to wanting to know what would happen if Clark found out... and what is Lex really thinking? I'm intrigued!

Those are interesting questions. I wonder what Clark would do, too. Hmm.

I'm glad you found it interesting, and thanks for taking the time to comment!

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<i<Hi, Brandy! Thanks for taking a chance on my bad!wrong fic. :)</i>

No problem :D I like your writing so I certainly is no chore!

<i> I could really see how it could be a way for Lex to sublimate his desire for Clark. And that seemed kind of sexy in a twisted way.</i>

Exactly! It is sexy... and twisted, but that is what makes this fic work. I can't imagine a 'normal type' Lexana relationship...

I can't even think of this as mean, because you write it so well (and make me care for the Lexana). While it doesn't give me the heart-rending ache of Seduction, I still felt this painful little throb - it's that's good! *hugs*

I can't even think of this as mean, because you write it so well (and make me care for the Lexana).

*hugs Kat* What a nice thing to say. Thank you! I'm glad you still cared. This story felt really mean to me, so it's nice to know it didn't totally put off the people who are reading it.

I really appreciate your taking the time to respond. :)

WOW!

That was hot and wrong and hot and you're going to make me LOVE Lexana! Brilliant, just brilliant.

*dribbling*

It's all your doing, Ingrid. I was totally against the Lexana. But then you opened my eyes to the mean possibilities. *g*

Thanks for the inspiration! :)

You know I'm down with the Lex/Lana already, so to find your story this afternoon made me too happy for words!

What I love most about this pairing is the potential for darkness, for hurt, all wrapped up in a nice pretty package. You've captured that so well, with all the layers and levels of meaning between. I believe this Lana, passive-aggressive and getting the things she's ashamed to admit she wants. And I still hurt for Lex.

Gorgeous.

Thanks, Kirsten! I'm glad you liked it. :)

What I love most about this pairing is the potential for darkness, for hurt, all wrapped up in a nice pretty package.

You're so right! In all my ranting against the Lexana, I'd completely failed to take any of this into consideration. But now that I've found mean Lexana...I like it! *g*

Yay! All hail the Lexana! *welcomes you into the dark pit of het fic hell*

Yep! That's exactly how I see Lexana these days.

From now on, no matter what happens on the show, I intend to see it all as further evidence of the big gay obsession. :)

Lexana! eeeeeee.....*closes innocent eyes*

*peeks*

Wow, this is pretty good. Loved the characterisation, Lana is still passive/agressive, and Lex is still so lexy. Grrrr. Just how they are in my head :)

If I keep writing all this bad!wrong, I'm going to need an intervention. "Somebody save me..."

I'm glad you thought it worked. It's really the only kind of Lexana I can imagine.

Btw, I love your icon! It's perfect. :)

Oh, and, um... innocent eyes?????

*g*

Ok, ok, I can take Jon/Martha sex, I can take Lexana *g*

...but the level of wrongness overflows at quoting Remy Zero!! Wrong, wrong wrong.

But yeah, I can only really see Lexana when it's a means for something else.

wow, this was amazing. so wrong yet so good as well. i loved the way you described lana, you know, her feelings, fears, hopes ... and in contrast to her, lex ... it was so spot on. great!

Thanks so much! I'm really glad you thought so. I would like Lana better on the show if she weren't always so hermetically perfect. Even though I set out to be mean to her, I did actually feel for her by the end.

I really appreciate your commenting!

I actually had to get up and take a quick, um, walk while reading this.

Nice and nasty, just the way I could see them together.

I actually had to get up and take a quick, um, walk while reading this.

As long as it wasn't to the bathroom to be sick... *g*

Nice and nasty, just the way I could see them together.

Yeah, that's the only way I can see them together. I'm glad you thought it worked, Fleegull!

Oh, my.

A part of him hates her, she knows. Because she can have Clark and doesn't want him. Because no matter how many times he fucks her, she still won't be the green-eyed boy of his dreams.

It's just so -- massively fucked-up -- and nasty -- and good!

Wow. *applause*

It's just so -- massively fucked-up -- and nasty -- and good!

Yay! I'm glad you thought so. If this pairing is going to exist, it ought to be fucked up and nasty. *g*

[makes a chocolate french silk pie and offers it to you] Mmm. This fic was tastier than pie. Even chocolate pie. But I'm giving you one in hopes of you being even more mean to Lana, and using Lex to do it. Because Big Gay Obsession is SO the new pink, which just leaves Lana SOL. *G*

[makes a chocolate french silk pie and offers it to you]

Mmm. Yummy. Thank you! *g* I'm glad you liked my bad!wrong story. I have to admit that I got a lot of bad!wrong enjoyment out of writing it.

Because Big Gay Obsession is SO the new pink, which just leaves Lana SOL.

*wipes eyes* Ah, Perclexed, this is totally the quote of the day. We need a big (gay) banner with this emblazoned on it.

Wow. Damn.

That was so hot because it was so wrong. And so wrong because it was so hot.

*applauds you*

Thanks, Celli! Hot and wrong-- That's definitely what I was going for. *g*

This fic is evil, mean and wrong. And for that I salute you.

And how deep are my mocking feeling towards Lana that I feel absolutely nothing for her humilliation, but I feel such pity for Lex having to release his Clark obssesion through her? I don't think my Mama would approve.

Excellent Lenore.

Thanks, Smallcondo! I've decided not to resist Lex's destiny anymore, but have decided that I will accompany him to the dark side. *g*

As for having more sympathy for Lex? That's not wrong. It's natural! :)

*weeps for Lex*

I love the way you manage to make me feel for the characters with just a few words. It's stunning. And I was almost feeling sorry for Lana too. Which goes a long way to prove how much I liked this. *g*

Thanks for sharing this!

Thanks, Melo! I started out with Lana-hate in my heart when I was writing it. But by the end, I did feel for her, too. There are few things more miserable than being caught in a triangle like that, where nobody can get what they want.

I'm glad you liked it!

This is so very wrong...extra-large helpings of most tasty nasty angst! I do hope you're considering making this a series...I'd love to watch Lana try to say 'no' to Lex...taunt Lex into a fury by flirting with Clark...why, the possibilities are....

*deep breath*

Thank you for this. Please, sir, may I have some more?

Thanks, Agnes! I'm glad you liked the bad-wrong-nasty. *g*

You know, I hadn't considered writing more, but hmm... It would be interesting to see how Lana might push and what Lex might do. And what if Clark did find out? Maybe I will write more.

In light of recent threads amongst people whom I respect mightily, I feel it necessary to say I do not feel I deserve more, or have any possible sense of entitlement to more, but I will be humbly and pathetically grateful when/if you generously apply your creativity to more tasty nasty angsty Lexanark...

I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! But even so.....

%^)

*smile* Not worry, Agnes. I felt loved not pressured. Thanks for the encouragement!

God, that was really hot. I always thought the whole Lexana thing was a really bad idea, too -- but this was fantastic. Seeing Lana humiliated and needy and used was a really good thing. Great job!!

Thank, Kormanfan! It's really the only way I could imagine the Lexana ever happening. And taking Lana down from her pedestal was lots of fun for me! *eg*

Glad you liked it. :)

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My world turned upside down

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YAY!

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