scribblinlenore: (SGA: Rodney's Lovely Neck)
scribblinlenore ([personal profile] scribblinlenore) wrote2007-01-20 12:42 pm
Entry tags:

Virgin!Rodney

So this morning, I was thinking about ideas I find hot that I probably won't ever write, and, hey, big fat cliche or not, a scenario where Rodney's a virgin and aliens make John deflower him...well, what can I say? I'm a sicko. I won't ever write it because I can't honestly imagine Rodney as a virgin. I much, much prefer the characterization of him as not being all that good at everything that leads up to clothes coming off, but once he closes the deal, he's a bobcat in bed. Now, that I believe. I mean, have you seen the man and what he can do with those hands? But virgin!Rodney? It still gives me a tacky Harlequin thrill.



They're on a planet where the natives feel that virginity is a negative state, not natural after a certain age. They have a formal coming of age ritual in which their young people have their first sexual experience. There's a sort of creepy high priest, and he finds out somehow (technology? intuition?) that Rodney's still a virgin. They take Rodney into custody, because they hold a superstitious belief that virgins over the age of consent will unbalance the natural order of things and bring ruin to the crops and plagues and locusts and other sorts of biblical-esque disaster. Of course, the rest of the team is not pleased by this, and they get thrown into jail, too.

The high priest comes and explains that John, Teyla and Ronon are free to go, but Rodney must be properly initiated first before he'll be allowed to leave. He says it's for Rodney's own good. He offers to do the honors himself. He smiles his creepy, creepy smile.

Rodney says to John in a small voice, "You're not going to leave me here, right?"

John is torn between yelling at Rodney for even suggesting that, and slugging the creepy smile off the high priest's face. He manages to rein himself in, and they try to negotiate, but the high priest is adamant. The rules are the rules. He leaves them to talk it over, and they assess their options for breaking out and making a run for the stargate, but the people on the planet have just enough technology to be dangerous.

Finally, John says, "We might just have to go through with the ritual."

Rodney gets all outraged, "You're going to just throw me to that creepy smiling--"

John crosses his arms over his chest. "What part of we are you not getting?"

Rodney looks thunderstruck.

Teyla says apologetically, "I would gladly undergo the ritual with you, Rodney, but it is the time of my monthly cycle when I fear I might become with child."

Rodney nods, understanding.

Ronon pipes up, "I'll do it."

Rodney looks even more thunderstruck than before. And then practically passes out when John says, "No, I'm the team leader. I'll do it."

Rodney starts to say, "Don't I get a choice here?" But then realizes he kind of doesn't, and the idea of either John or Ronon is...well, pretty hot.

The high priest is, not surprisingly, disappointed that he won't be the one to initiate Rodney. He says that they need to go and be prepared. He offers to attend to Rodney, and John gets in his face, "You won't go anywhere near him, because if I find out you have--" He lets the unspoken threat hang there in the air all menacing and stuff.

There's bathing and oiling, and they're led naked into a room empty except for a bed on the floor. Rodney is really nervous and kind of embarrassed, and John tells him to relax. They can take it slow. They kiss and touch, and when Rodney doesn't look so much like he wants to bolt, they lie down together. There's more oil in a bowl on the floor by the bed and sex toys, and Rodney expects that John will penetrate him, but John smiles and says, "There's more than one way to lose your virginity, Rodney." He dips his fingers into the oil and opens himself up, and Rodney stares at him, amazed. "You mean, you want me to--"

John flops onto his belly and spreads his legs, and Rodney's shaking and not entirely sure what to do and so, so hard. John tells him not to worry, that he likes getting fucked, and he talks him through it, and Rodney loses his cherry in a very satisfying fsshion for them both. After the sexin', they lay there all lazy and kissing, and Rodney shyly says, "So I guess that's that."

John hears Rodney's reluctance, and he's all interested in that, and says, "Unless you had something else in mind?"

"Um-- you could fuck me?" Rodney blushes. "You know, if you want."

Which of course John does, and there's a lot more kissing and touching, preparing for round two. The high priest said they'd have all night, so they take it, and by the time they finally put their clothes back on and emerge the next day, Rodney's not a virgin in any way.

Or sometimes, when I'm in a kinkier mood, I like to imagine that the ritual requires Rodney to have sex with every member of his team, and perhaps for it to be public, although sometimes that just seems creepy rather than hot. Rodney fucks Teyla, and Ronon sucks him, and John fucks him, and Rodney goes home tired but very happy. :)

wolfshark: (Default)

[personal profile] wolfshark 2007-01-20 06:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Um... I'm kind of glad you're not writing this, because if you did I might just spontaneously combust...

[identity profile] crownglass39.livejournal.com 2007-01-20 07:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Mmmm...do you take bribes? This sounds like the best kind of porn.

[identity profile] anitac588.livejournal.com 2007-01-20 07:22 pm (UTC)(link)
During the virgin challenge at the SGA flash fic I suffered through reading so many stories where Rodney, or even John was a virgin at the 'present' time. I mean I'm all for virgin stories in their youth (yum!), but I cannot imagine them going through their life without at least one sane person pushing them into a closet and giving them a decent blow job. There's only one by Lacey, I think, that I bought, where John was a virgin at the old age.

belief that virgins over the age of consent will unbalance the natural order of things and This philosophy might be on to something, *g*.

Engaging text, for a story that you didn't write, ahem. (Interesting definition of not writing you have.)
amalthia: (Default)

[personal profile] amalthia 2007-01-20 07:22 pm (UTC)(link)
if you wrote this I'd have to stay home with my own sex toys all day! I think this story would hit on just about every kink I have...well except the incest kink.

[identity profile] raincitygirl.livejournal.com 2007-01-20 07:26 pm (UTC)(link)
A cliche maybe, but a very yummy one.

[identity profile] titc.livejournal.com 2007-01-20 07:43 pm (UTC)(link)
You wrote "assess" and I read "asses"! That's how perverted I am, yay!
Also, well. I wouldn't mind reading this story, although I quite agree with your assesment or Rodney & sex.

I totally get it

[identity profile] merrilily.livejournal.com 2007-01-20 07:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I think that virgin!kink is a natural offshoot of firsttime!kink, because firsttime!fic is so much more interesting than establishedrelationship!fic, and if it's absolutely first-time, well, it stands to reason that the UST would just be so much more ramped up.

That said, though, I expect that Rodney must totally know that his mouth makes everyone a little hot under the collar, and I can't imagine him not having taken advantage of that.

Funnily enough, I find it more believable that John might be a virgin when they get to Atlantis. Or maybe that's just because [livejournal.com profile] laceymcbain's fic Lost In Waiting (http://www.stickymanpress.mediawood.net/lostinwaiting.html) was extremely convincing (and also very hot).

That said, I am going to happily read any virgin!Rodney pR0n that you write.

[identity profile] tzi.livejournal.com 2007-01-20 08:44 pm (UTC)(link)
*cries* Oh thank God I'm not the only one who feels the shame, the terrible, awful, BURNING!!, might I add, shame and yet. ...*squirms* *pervs* Yes, well. There's that, and then there's also the variety that includes a lot of, "No, John, please, John. I'll be good, I swear I can be good, just, please, please." Um. Yeah.

Right.

I'll be in my bunk.

[identity profile] pun.livejournal.com 2007-01-20 11:29 pm (UTC)(link)
I swear, your mind is a beautiful, beautiful place!

I think I'll go read "Inaureme" again because I'm craving a de-flowering ritual story now, and no one does it quite like you!
ext_1798: (Default)

[identity profile] wildestranger.livejournal.com 2007-01-20 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Well, if you're going to go the tacky harlequin way, clearly all three is the way to go. One after another, or all at once. :)
ext_230: a tiny green frog on a very red leaf (Default)

[identity profile] anatsuno.livejournal.com 2007-01-21 12:09 am (UTC)(link)
I love this, mmmm. I'm all for reading the unfolded version, too, but this in itself is yummy.

If someone felt tempted to take this and run with it into lavish descriptions of the porny bits (or, a better omeone than me, the whole thing) - woudl that be possible, or do you feel proprietary? I am asking because of intellectual curiosity, but, I admit, not only. *beams*

[identity profile] gothphyle.livejournal.com 2007-01-21 04:34 am (UTC)(link)
I'm going to consider this a most excellent "not written" story! ;D

[identity profile] meret.livejournal.com 2007-01-21 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
Hee! That's great. :)

[identity profile] tardis80.livejournal.com 2007-01-21 08:16 am (UTC)(link)
ahaha I totally share your view of bobcat-in-the-sack!Rodney. I confess that I also have a love for virgin!McKay. It appeals to the Harlequin-reading teenage girl within me. Though I love aliens-made-them-do-it, some of my favorite scenarios involve Rodney at the mercies of an alien warlord-type person. and since I prefer John to be the one doing the deflowering, they're AU. Sorta like: Sheik!John and haremslave!Rodney or Viking!John and monk!Rodney (I know, terrible!) and Celtic!warlord!John and Roman!architect!Rodney.

[identity profile] krisdia.livejournal.com 2007-01-22 03:07 am (UTC)(link)
I love you for this. Seriously.

I agree that virgin!Rodney isn't realistic at all (his *hands*, I mean, there's just no way), but you know my utter weakness in the face of this tacky Harlequin plot in particular *g*, and *this* is how it should be done! (Now I am off to research yachting - *looks innocent* - for no particular reason...)

[identity profile] justabi.livejournal.com 2007-01-29 07:49 am (UTC)(link)
You know, I was alright until I got to the very last paragraph there, and then ... Um. Stop reading my diary.

[identity profile] kassrachel.livejournal.com 2007-01-31 04:27 pm (UTC)(link)
GUH.

This is one of my favorite clichés, and this retelling -- rough as it is -- is quite yummy. :-)

[identity profile] ladyagnew.livejournal.com 2007-02-25 08:04 am (UTC)(link)
There's a sort of creepy high priest, and he finds out somehow (technology? intuition?) that Rodney's still a virgin.

Omigod. I was just idly looking over your old entries (and looking for any interesting stories I haven't read yet) and I realized that the perfect way around this issue -- and the implausibility of Rodney being a virgin -- is to have the old priest somehow find out that all the other members of the team have been married, therefore: un-virginized. In canon, Ronon and John used to be married, and you could have Teyla married to her childhood sweetheart who died in a culling.

So the priest is like, then you'll have to go through the *crazy alien de-flowering ritual* (aka CADFR) and Rodney's like, "WHAT! EXCUSE ME I HAVE HAD SEX!!"

The priest is all: "well, have you ever been married ?" ("...no")

"Then have you gone through the official CADFR? p.s. we can tell if you're lying." ("er.. no")

"Then you are a virgin! and I will be honored to personally CADFR your ass! (literally!)" *wink, wink, leer*

-- and then John can save Rodney by stepping in and taking it out of the old dirty priest's hands (heh). Porniness ensues. The end.