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Wow. Just wow. You know, sometimes I lose sight of exactly how deadly Sheppard can be. It's easy to get distracted by the hair and the slinky hips and the gay and the prettiness. I've never been convinced that Sheppard has a psychopathic streak for doing what he did in The Storm/The Eye. But this? Comes much closer. I don't know what his limits are. I don't know if he has limits. God, this was such a great episode! Sheppard has never been a more fully realized character for me.

I mean, it's not just what he did, but how he did it, coolly, calculatingly, with such certainty and a tinge of being the hand of judgment, and then afterwards, in that scene where Rodney comes into the lab and discovers what's happened, and the body is still being wheeled out, and Sheppard is so matter-of-fact, unrepentant, remorseless. That's what the report's going to say. Wow, he kind of scares me. *whispers* I kind of like it.

Even in the final scene with Rodney, I don't get the sense that he doesn't want to talk about it because he feels guilty. He seems to believe that this all came to its logical, even morally correct conclusion. The person who caused the harm fixed the harm by making the ultimate sacrifice. He does seem off balance, and so does Rodney, which is only natural considering what's happened, but I don't get guilt from that. My take on John's reluctance to talk is that there's only so much detail he wants to go into, and Rodney's gratitude makes him uncomfortable.

Which makes me wonder how willing Wallace really was. I'm reading into it here, but I'm convinced it wasn't all that voluntary. I can't wait to read the story! I know someone will write it.

And then why this episode is just totally made of win…amidst the darkness is just this beautiful love story. Whether you see it as friendship or slash, the fact that John is willing to go to such lengths for Rodney…just, man. I don't know when a scene in a TV show has affected me as much as that conversation where John refuses to let Rodney sacrifice himself. Joe's acting gets ragged on a lot, but he played the hell out of this. He still has all of Sheppard's discomfort with words, and we get to see his usual restraint so frayed, and he has actual tears in his eyes. And how could he not when Rodney says his name, John, so low and earnest and not pleading, but something more powerful than that. But John can't let Rodney go. I can't and I'm sorry. Oh, my heart!

I adore Rodney throughout this, looking all adorable in his hoodie, and feeling responsible for his sister, and being brave and willing to sacrifice himself. But I think my favorite part is at the end when he comes to thank John, and his face is lit up with amazement, not just that John managed to convince Wallace, but that he would do that for Rodney.

Then, the tag at the end, they go off to the mess hall, still a little off kilter, but trying to get the ground under their feet again with the familiar banter. Awwww!

The Sheppard/McKay stuff nearly overshadowed for me the Rodney and Jeannie stuff, but I do continue to love their relationship, its so very sibling-like, especially with the "I know" and the shrug and the "well, I love you too" in their last scene together. I find Kate Hewlett all the more delightful now that I've seen her play (which was so very, very good, did I mention that before?) and got to meet her. She really is lovely and charming and incredibly talented.

On a shallow note, John in a suit? *faints* Ronon in Earth clothes? *stands up and falls down again*

The only things that would have made this fabulous episode even better for me are if Teyla had also come to help and if John and Madison had had a little bit more of a moment together. I had seen the still photo before the ep, and there's so much of JFlan's dadness in that shot. I really wanted an Uncle John moment in the show.

Still, I <3 this episode so much!!

In conclusion: Yay!!!

I just read this coda by

apple_pi If I Could Walk On Water, which is exactly what I think happens next. Yay coda!

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But this was...different. He sat across that table and brought out the scary big guns from his brain, looked that guy in the eye and calmly presented why he should die. And then went home and read his comic books!!

Oh my God, yes! I've been reading my friends list, and opinion varies on how to read John's affect in that last scene. To me, he's clearly uncomfortable, but I don't see any great guilt, and he's certainly not sorry. Whoa. I would seriously not want him for an enemy!

However, Rodney is now in the same category as Dean Winchester, which is so awesome, I don't even know. I want them to sit down and not-talk about how they are willing to die for their siblings!

Oh my God! That would be the best non-conversation ever!!

To me, he's clearly uncomfortable, but I don't see any great guilt, and he's certainly not sorry. Whoa. I would seriously not want him for an enemy!

Well, I certainly don't think he was all "la la la, comics are great, no worries". It seemed almost like a metaphor or maybe just a reminder that this is John and while he can be quite deadly, he's also got this other side to him that makes you want to feed him soup and tell him stories. And comic books always represent to me that sort of innocence we have as children, that the world is black and white. Good guys do this, bad guys do that, you know?

I don't think he's actually psychotic or anything, just willing to go to places other people aren't. I think he was most uncomfortable with the fact that Rodney ended up in a place where he thought he needed to give up his life. John doesn't like it when other people are forced into situations like that because he feels like that's his job to protect them from those things. That's just part of who he is and, really, part of being a soldier. They exists to do the things we can't or won't do.

He's also really really pretty. *sigh*

SGA

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