Love for Sale (aka Hooker!Clark), part 10
Oct. 23rd, 2003 05:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scribblinlenoreI want to finish this soon. I really, really do. *fingers crossed* Also, this has a high sugar content. Diabetics beware! *g*
***
It was quiet on the ride home. Lex's mind was buzzing with too many things to make conversation. A car barreling down on them at top speed had bounced off Clark. Bounced. Now that the shock had started to wear off, he could really take that in, consider the implications. The boy sitting next to him was far more special that he'd even guessed, not simply a beautiful kid with a good heart and an unusual talent for pleasure, but apparently…superhuman.
This wasn't the only revelation of the evening, of course. There was Clark's reaction after the fact, how he shook with relief once he knew Lex was all right, the way he'd put himself between Lex and further danger. Even Lex couldn't write that off as business as usual. The fact was that there had been more between them than a simple financial transaction for some time, maybe even from the beginning, and there was no ignoring that now.
He glanced over at Clark, who was hunched in his seat, shoulders curled in. "Hey." He rested his hand on Clark's leg. "You okay?"
Clark nodded, not very convincingly. "I'm just-- you know, thinking about what happened back there." His voice dropped, got rougher. "You could have died."
"But I didn't. Because you were there." He rubbed his hand in comforting circles. "I'm lucky to have you."
"I never want anything to happen to you." Clark sounded scared and young, and it gave Lex a sharp ache in his chest.
He slid his arm around him, pulling him close, and Clark rested his head on his shoulder. "Everything's going to be fine," Lex said, pressing a kiss to his head. "I promise."
"Do you think maybe--" Clark hesitated. "I know you've had something going on at work lately, and that car seemed to head right for you. Maybe it wasn't an accident?"
Lex kept his voice even, casual. He didn't want Clark any more involved in this than he already was. "There are more drunk driving accidents in this part of town than anywhere else. I'm sure someone just had one too many and wasn't smart enough to call a cab."
"You think?"
"What else could it be? Corporate in-fighting may get ugly at times, but it hardly leads to homicide."
This wasn't technically a lie. He hadn’t said it never ended in murder.
Clark let out his breath. "Thank God."
They pulled up in front of their apartment building, and Lex turned the keys over to the valet. He kept his arm around Clark as they headed inside, held him close as they took the elevator upstairs. Even in the apartment, he didn't really want to let go. Only the need to reassure Clark propelled him through the motions of hanging up his coat, sorting through the mail, all the things he usually did, as if this were any other evening and he wasn't damned lucky to be alive.
They headed into the living room, and he made a beeline for the bar. Appearing calm wasn't the easiest thing in the world when the only reason he wasn't splattered all over a city street was because his boyfriend was apparently made of steel. Lex needed this drink, he really did, and poured himself a few extra fingers of Scotch for good measure.
The thing was: you never got used to people trying to kill you, no matter how many times it happened.
"Are you sure you're all right?" Clark hovered by the sofa, shifting his weight awkwardly, his expression both concerned and uncertain.
There were moments in life that felt like waking up, like some light had been switched on, and everything was suddenly clear. This was one of those moments for Lex. He watched Clark watching him, and it struck him that he finally had exactly what he wanted, right here in his own living room, his heart's desire, all his for the taking. How many people could ever say that? And still, he'd been holding back, trying to deny the obvious, even to himself, insisting on calling this by some other name. Too afraid to admit that he--
The word twisted on his tongue. He'd promised himself never to say it again, to anyone, and he still wasn't ready. He squeezed his eyes shut and forced it back. The declaration would have to wait, but there were other things he could offer now. Sometimes he expressed himself better with actions than words anyway.
"Tell me something," he said to Clark.
Clark sighed tiredly, misunderstanding. "I've already told you everything I can, Lex."
"Not about that." He closed the distance between them, leaned in, whispered into Clark's ear. "What I want to know is…would you like to fuck me?" A shudder jolted Clark, and Lex had to smile. "I take that’s a yes?"
"God." Even Clark's voice was shaking. He held Lex's face in his hands and poured all his concern and relief and need into a single, shattering kiss.
Then Lex was shaking, too. "Please." Another word he didn't like to say, but apparently, the old rules meant nothing when it came to Clark.
Clark backed him against the wall and frantically pulled at his clothes, hands trembling so much that Lex had to help him.
"I want you so much," Clark said, urgently.
"Then have me. Anything you want."
Clark's answer was a flurry of hot, wet kisses, before sinking to his knees and taking Lex's cock deep into his throat.
"Fuck!" His shout split the apartment's stillness and echoed off the walls.
This was the magic that men at the club had gladly paid a hundred dollars a shot for, and even Lex's control, something he prided himself on, wasn't going to keep him from exploding like an over-anxious teenager if this went on much longer. "Stop. I'm going to--"
Apparently, this was Clark’s plan, though, because he didn't stop. He did something with his tongue that made Lex's eyes roll back in his head, had him arching his back, digging his fingers into the plaster. There was a blinding flash in his head, and then his entire body shook with his release.
He panted, light-headed from coming so hard so fast. His knees started to buckle, and his fingers scrabbled at the wall. If Clark weren't holding him up, he would have fallen.
Clark realized this, of course, and his smile was just a little bit smug. "You said anything I want." He rubbed his hand in circles over Lex's hip. "I want to make you forget your own name."
Clark's eyes glittered with amusement and something wilder, more heated. It was hard to believe this was the same boy who'd looked so young and scared only a short time ago. Now he seemed made of confidence, so certain of what he wanted. He stood up and kissed Lex and took him by the hand. "Come on."
They made it just inside the bedroom before Clark set on him, wrapping himself around Lex like a second skin, as if he was trying to get inside, make their bones meet. Lex was on fire, like his skin would burn anything it touched, and he was already starting to get hard again, too soon, hurting in the best possible way.
It had been a long time since he'd allowed himself to have this. During the post-Helen meltdown, he'd woken up too many mornings with the evidence that someone had been inside him, but no actual memory of who it had been. His grief was hard and jagged, a sharp edge he'd cut himself on again and again. It took months to finally pull himself together, to swear off all the stupid shit he'd been doing to try to forget, getting drunk and getting high and being fucked by faceless strangers. He'd grasped onto his old friend control like it was the only thing he could trust, the one thing that might save him.
Sex after that had been measured, calculated, most times bought and paid for, just to keep the lines perfectly clear. He'd always been on top, in every sense, and he'd like it that way.
Until this. Until Clark.
"Hey." Clark sensed his distraction and pulled back. "Are you sure about this?" His voice was soft with concern. "I don't want to do anything you don't want."
Lex shook his head. "You won't. You can't." It was funny how sure he was about that, and Clark's sweet answering smile only made him more certain.
They fell onto the bed together, Clark draped over him. Lex wanted so much, and there was no such thing as control anymore. But that was all right, because this wasn't Helen or Desiree or a faceless stranger. This was Clark.
Clark was pale and stark in the dim light, the tendons of his neck standing out in sharp relief, his cock thick and swollen with blood, slick against Lex's thigh. "I want--"
"Yes," Lex hissed. "Anything. I trust you."
Clark parted his legs and moved between them, slid his hands under Lex's hips, lifting them. "What you did to me our first time-- I want to do that."
"You don't have to-- Fuck!" Hot tongue on sensitive flesh, and all reason, all words were blotted out of his mind. Hell, he didn't remember his own name.
Clark turned him inside out, creatively, adding fingers alongside his tongue, scraping his teeth against the delicate skin behind his balls, making the blood pound in his temples, making him scream.
"God!" Lex panted, muscles shaking like jelly. "If you don't stop, I'm going to come." Clark hummed contentedly, but Lex knew his own limits. There wasn't going to be a third round. "Please. I want-- Inside me."
Clark reluctantly stopped. Lex reached out for the bedside drawer, fumbled to get the lube and handed it to Clark. "Use a lot. It's been a while."
Clark eased him onto his side, stretched out beside him, kissed his shoulder and whispered soft, sweet nonsense as he got him ready. Clark's talented tongue had already undone him, and now his sensitive, twisting fingers were touching that place inside him that sent electric sparks up and down his spine, made him burn all over.
"Now!" he said, voice strained with need. Clark pulled his fingers away, and Lex felt the slick trail of his cock against his ass. "Get the condoms."
Clark went still. "We don't need that." Lex started to argue, but Clark smoothed a hand over his hip. "Trust me, Lex. I can't give you anything, and you can't hurt me." His voice was quiet, serious, and Lex knew he was being given something, some small part of Clark's truth.
He nodded, giving permission, and Clark curved around him, pressed against him, slowly, surely, until Lex was breached, panting hard, sweat running down his back. He'd forgotten this, how much it hurt, the sheer physical shock of it. Clark rubbed his belly and made coaxing noises, and Lex began to grow accustomed to the sensations, the burning and the fullness and the dull ache in his belly because he was still so hard and needed to come so badly.
His body relented and opened, and Clark pressed forward, little by little. When he was all the way inside, he started to move, setting a rhythm, slowly at first, gradually faster, making Lex cry out with every stroke, because he'd forgotten this too, the bone-melting, nerve-searing ecstasy of having someone inside him.
Clark's face was hot against his neck. "God! You feel so good. You're so amazing. Never thought it could be this good."
One more first time he'd given Clark, and, really, it was a first for him, too. All the sex he'd had, and he couldn't remember another time when it was someone he loved fucking him.
Clark reached around and stroked his cock, and Lex moaned and pushed back hard, taking Clark as deep inside him as he could.
"Please!" His balls were tight against his body, and his stomach hurt. He needed to come, needed it now.
Clark thrust faster, jerked Lex's cock harder. "I love you," he muttered in Lex ear, his voice rough with passion. "Fucking love you, Lex. God. I love you so much."
It was the spark that sent him up in flames. He spasmed around Clark's cock, went off in his hand, only dimly aware of Clark climaxing inside him. There was a dull roar in his ears. His vision started to go dark like he might pass out, and he couldn't breathe. The best sex always made you just a little bit afraid, like you might actually die from it.
Clark's breath was heavy and warm against his shoulder, his arm slung possessively over Lex's hip. He pressed a kiss to Lex's cheek and gently pulled out. Lex sucked in a deep breath. His ass was sore, well-used, and he liked the feeling, liked knowing that Clark was the cause of it.
He turned in Clark's arms, because he wanted to see his face. Clark had the startled, satisfied look of first times, like someone had just let him in on the best, most important secret in the world. Lex had to grin, and Clark did, too.
Lex kissed him. "It's official. I don't remember my name."
Clark laughed, his face bright and pleased. "Me either."
Lex pulled him closer, pressed a kiss to his forehead. If all those other attempts on his life had led to moments like this, he would have been a much, much happier man. Clark snuggled against him, and Lex closed his eyes, sated and drowsy.
"I meant it, you know," he heard Clark whisper as he was falling asleep. "I really do love you."
***
Not surprisingly, Lex was late to work the next day. He'd woken up to soft kisses on his face, opened his eyes to find Clark leaning over him, wide-awake and hungry. They'd made love in the shower. Clark had blown him and fucked him again, and it would probably be several days before he could sit down without feeling it. But who cared? A little soreness was nothing when he had everything he wanted.
He was whistling as he got off the elevator, but stopped short when he saw Phelan lounging in a chair in the reception area.
"Someone's in a good mood this morning." Phelan's smirk was knowing and filthy, and Lex had the urge to wipe it off his face, preferably with violence.
"This way," he said curtly, heading down the corridor to his office.
He closed the door behind them, motioned Phelan to a chair and sat down at his desk.
"Okay. Show me what you've got."
Phelan's expression grew serious as he got down to business. He pulled out a small notebook. "The subject's name is Clark Kent, adopted son of Martha and Jonathan Kent. They own and operate a small farm in Smallville, KS."
"Smallville?"
"Yeah. That mean something to you?"
"Nothing. Just--" He waved his hand. "Go on." Of course, Clark would be from the one place Lex most wanted to forget.
"The subject disappeared approximately four months ago. He's seventeen years old, previously enrolled in Smallville High School." Phelan's voice was even, professional, but his mouth turned up at the corner in a mocking smile.
Lex stared him down, keeping his own face blank, refusing to give any ground, but, God, seventeen. Of course, he'd known Clark was young. He'd been careful never to ask exactly how young, in case he ever needed to plead ignorance. Still, the way Clark carried himself, smiled his way through society functions like a veteran, all the things they'd done together in bed…how could that have possibly come from a junior in high school?
He cleared his throat. "Why'd he take off?"
"That's not completely clear. There was an accident, as you suggested. Family truck flipped over. The boy's mother was pregnant, lost the baby."
"Was Clark driving?"
Phelan shook his head. "His father. There was also--" He frowned at his notes.
"What?"
"Details are somewhat sketchy, but it seems the truck wreck was caused by some kind of explosion. It left behind a pretty good-sized crater on the farm."
"How did that happen?"
"No one seems to know. Underground gas pipe leak possibly. Or farm chemicals improperly stored. There was some gossip that maybe they were making drugs out there. Doesn't seem too credible, though. If they were drug kingpins, I doubt they'd be facing foreclose."
"They're going to lose the farm?"
Phelan nodded. "A matter of months at the most." Phelan opened his briefcase and pulled out a large envelope. "I have a few things here you might want to see." He took out a book, flipped it open and held it out to Lex.
There was Clark, wide-eyed and smiling in his yearbook picture. Lex's throat closed up. Phelan smiled, enjoying himself a great deal, and Lex never hated anyone more.
"Then there's this." Phelan laid a flyer on the desk, handmade, the same picture of Clark and a desperate plea to call if anyone had seen him. "His parents put these up all over the county."
"That's enough," Lex snapped, pushing the flyer away.
Phelan shrugged. "Hey, you wanted me to be thorough." He tucked the yearbook and leaflet back into the envelope and set it on Lex's desk. "I'll leave this for you. There's a full report, some background on the parents, copies of the kid's report cards, that kind of thing." Phelan smiled like a snake.
Lex glared coldly. "We're finished here. You'll get your check later today."
"That's fine." Phelan got to his feet. "You know, there is one thing I found kind of odd."
"Oh, yeah?"
Phelan nodded. "The parents never filed a missing person's report. A seventeen year old kid, never been in trouble, so why didn't they go to the police for help?"
"Maybe they have a less than stellar opinion of the boys in blue." He gave Phelan a small, tight smile.
Phelan laughed. "Hey, that could be it." He winked. "Good doing business with you, Lex. As always."
Lex let out his breath once Phelan was gone. There were so many things racing through his head. Could Clark have had something to do with the mysterious explosion on the farm? Did he have other abilities, potentially dangerous ones, that Lex hadn't seen yet? He had no doubt that Clark's parents had avoided the police to try to protect his secrets. But what did Phelan really know about it? Was he just trying to fuck with Lex's head as usual? Or did he have real suspicions about Clark? How was that even possible when Clark had been in Metropolis the whole time Phelan was conducting the investigation?
He pulled everything out of the envelope and laid it on his desk. There were surveillance photos of the farm, shots of a middle-aged couple, Clark's parents. They looked like good people, and Lex knew they must be sick with worry, not knowing where Clark was, if he was even all right.
He stared at the flyer. He could feel the desperation in the handwritten lettering: "Reward offered. Please call!" Phelan had said they didn't have any money, that their farm was even on the line. And yet, they were obviously willing to do whatever it took to get their boy back. Their seventeen-year-old son whom Lex had had sex with only a few hours ago.
Could he really let them go on wondering whether Clark was dead or alive?
He pushed the question away with a vicious effort of will, shoved everything back into the envelope and tossed it into a desk drawer. The Kents had had their chance. Clark had left for some reason, and he was Lex’s now. Lex would do a much better job taking care of him. He’d give Clark everything, protect him…love him.
He forced himself to concentrate on other matters, take care of business. He moved ahead with a deal to acquire a Japanese R&D firm, approved new staff positions to help deal with the upsurge in business, and most importantly, put in a call to Mason Tucker, his security consultant, to report the attempt on his life.
Tucker was grave on the other end of the line. "That's a significant escalation."
"I certainly thought so," Lex said dryly.
"We'll accelerate our plans and beef up your personal security."
"I don't need more security. I just need to know who the hell is doing this."
He hung up, and the urge to open the drawer and take out the envelope was nearly overpowering. The image of Clark in his high school yearbook lingered in his mind’s eye, along with that frantic “please call!” from the flyer.
Fuck. Why had he chosen now to develop a conscience?
He sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. Of course, he couldn’t just return Clark to his family, even if he was that selfless. Only Clark could decide if he wanted to go back to them or not. Now that Lex knew the truth, though, he felt a responsibility to at least pose the question. Even if Clark leaving him was the last thing in the world he ever wanted.
He buzzed his assistant. "I need you to gather some materials for me."
Lex sighed. Frankly, having a conscience sucked. He had no real idea what he was going to say to Clark. He'd just have to find some way to sound him out. Maybe he'd end up showing him the flyer his parents had posted. Or maybe he'd give him even more reason to stay in Metropolis. Clark's reactions would have to be his guide. But no matter which way it went, he'd make sure that Clark had a good life, just as he deserved.
***
He found Clark in the kitchen when he got home, cooking, which was a new thing. He leaned against the doorframe and watched with amusement as Clark emptied a rather daunting amount of cayenne pepper into the skillet.
“I didn’t realize this was another of your talents.”
Clark turned and smiled. “I hope you like tacos.”
“It looks very-- authentic.”
He crossed the kitchen and gave Clark a kiss.
Clark smiled and kissed him back. “Yeah, I might have gone a little overboard with the spices. Sorry about that.”
“I’m sure I’m going to love it.” He held onto Clark like someone was trying to take him away. He couldn't help being aware that this might be their last evening together.
Clark rubbed his back. “Hey. Everything okay?”
Lex nodded and made himself let go. “Fine. Is it almost time to eat? I’m starving.”
"Almost." Clark gave him another long look of concern before going back to his cooking.
Lex set the table, and they sat down to dinner together. Clark talked about his day. He and Mitzi had gone to the museum of modern art, but Lex was too distracted to really listen. He kept thinking ahead, imaging the conversation they were going to have, what it would mean to their relationship, drinking Clark in, as if this were his last chance, trying to memorize every detail.
After they finished, they put the dishes in the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen.
“Hey." Clark touched him lightly on the arm. "Are you sure nothing's wrong?”
Lex sighed. “There is something-- Let’s go sit down and talk, okay?"
He led Clark into the living room, and they settled onto the sofa. Lex's briefcase was on the coffee table, ready.
He cleared his throat. "I know you don't like discussing your past, and I respect that. But I have something I need to ask, and it's important."
Clark met his eyes nervously. "What? And why is it so important?"
"I just-- I need to know-- Are you sure this is where you want to be?"
Clark recoiled, as if he'd been hit. "Are you saying-- You don't want-- Did I do something wrong?"
"No! That's not what I'm saying. And of course you didn't do anything wrong. It's just--" He let out his breath. "What about your family, Clark? Do you ever think about going back home to them?"
Clark shook his head decisively. "No."
"They have to be worried."
"I can take care of myself. They know that."
"Clark."
"Look, Lex, they don't want me. Okay?" His voice was sharp, but there was a deep hurt in his eyes.
Lex put his arm around him. "I know that's not true."
"You didn't see the look on my father's face. He made things pretty clear."
"Clark, I don't know what happened, but people get angry sometimes. They say things they don't really mean. But you're his son and--"
"No, I'm not. Not really. And--" He stared down at the floor. "My mom was pregnant, and the baby died. Because of me. Even if they did forgive me-- I can't go back there, Lex. I can't face them. Ever."
Clark's expression was pleading, and Lex couldn't look away. He'd tried to do the right thing. He really had. He felt for the Kents. Anyone would. But the look on Clark's face-- A million desperate flyers would never be a match for that.
"Then stay here," he said. "With me."
Clark's face lit up. "Really?"
"Of course. I just-- I want to do what's best for you."
"You're what's best for me." Clark threw his arms around Lex's neck and held on tightly. "I love you so much."
Lex wanted to say it back, but the words just wouldn't come. So he stroked Clark's back and kissed him like he'd never stop, hoping Clark would understand everything that meant.
Clark settled into the curve of his arm, and Lex pressed a kiss to his temple. "Hey, I've got something for you." He leaned forward, opened his briefcase, took out the envelope his assistant had put together for him. "Here."
Clark opened it and looked puzzled. "A Met U catalogue?"
"I thought you might want to start considering college. Met U is my alma mater. Well, after my somewhat colorful career at Princeton came to a premature end."
Clark looked down at the catalogue and back up at Lex. "That's so nice of you. I always wanted--" There was a light, hopeful look on his face for a moment, but then he shook his head. "I can't. Thanks, though. I really appreciate the thought."
"Hey." He squeezed Clark's shoulder. "Of course, you can. I know you're smart. I know you're interested." Clark started to say something, and Lex held up his hand. "Don't try to tell me you're not. I don't believe it. Whatever problems you're imagining, we'll find a way around them."
Clark wouldn't look at him. "I didn't finish high school."
"You can get your GED. Look at the rest of the stuff I got you. There's a schedule for the test and a study guide." He held Clark's eye. "You can do anything you want. Be anyone you want to be."
"I want to be with you," Clark said, softly.
"A career and a personal life aren't mutually exclusive."
"You mean--" He blinked, his eyes lighting up again. "I could go to school and we would be--"
Lex kissed him. "That's exactly what I mean."
But Clark's expression closed up again, not at all what Lex had expected.
"What?"
Clark shook his head. "Nothing. It just-- It wouldn't work out."
"Clark."
He sighed. “My school records…I can’t use my real name. I don’t want my parents to find me.”
“That's not a problem. You just do the studying and pass the test. I'll take care of the rest.”
“But how--”
“Clark, I have a lot of influence in this town, and using it to help you get the education you deserve will probably be the noblest thing I ever do with it. So there’s nothing to worry about. Okay?”
Clark looked torn for a moment, but then broke into a luminous smile and gave Lex a big hug. “Thank you.”
Lex closed his eyes and held on tight. “I just want you to have a good life.”
Clark whispered against his cheek, “I already do.”
***
***
It was quiet on the ride home. Lex's mind was buzzing with too many things to make conversation. A car barreling down on them at top speed had bounced off Clark. Bounced. Now that the shock had started to wear off, he could really take that in, consider the implications. The boy sitting next to him was far more special that he'd even guessed, not simply a beautiful kid with a good heart and an unusual talent for pleasure, but apparently…superhuman.
This wasn't the only revelation of the evening, of course. There was Clark's reaction after the fact, how he shook with relief once he knew Lex was all right, the way he'd put himself between Lex and further danger. Even Lex couldn't write that off as business as usual. The fact was that there had been more between them than a simple financial transaction for some time, maybe even from the beginning, and there was no ignoring that now.
He glanced over at Clark, who was hunched in his seat, shoulders curled in. "Hey." He rested his hand on Clark's leg. "You okay?"
Clark nodded, not very convincingly. "I'm just-- you know, thinking about what happened back there." His voice dropped, got rougher. "You could have died."
"But I didn't. Because you were there." He rubbed his hand in comforting circles. "I'm lucky to have you."
"I never want anything to happen to you." Clark sounded scared and young, and it gave Lex a sharp ache in his chest.
He slid his arm around him, pulling him close, and Clark rested his head on his shoulder. "Everything's going to be fine," Lex said, pressing a kiss to his head. "I promise."
"Do you think maybe--" Clark hesitated. "I know you've had something going on at work lately, and that car seemed to head right for you. Maybe it wasn't an accident?"
Lex kept his voice even, casual. He didn't want Clark any more involved in this than he already was. "There are more drunk driving accidents in this part of town than anywhere else. I'm sure someone just had one too many and wasn't smart enough to call a cab."
"You think?"
"What else could it be? Corporate in-fighting may get ugly at times, but it hardly leads to homicide."
This wasn't technically a lie. He hadn’t said it never ended in murder.
Clark let out his breath. "Thank God."
They pulled up in front of their apartment building, and Lex turned the keys over to the valet. He kept his arm around Clark as they headed inside, held him close as they took the elevator upstairs. Even in the apartment, he didn't really want to let go. Only the need to reassure Clark propelled him through the motions of hanging up his coat, sorting through the mail, all the things he usually did, as if this were any other evening and he wasn't damned lucky to be alive.
They headed into the living room, and he made a beeline for the bar. Appearing calm wasn't the easiest thing in the world when the only reason he wasn't splattered all over a city street was because his boyfriend was apparently made of steel. Lex needed this drink, he really did, and poured himself a few extra fingers of Scotch for good measure.
The thing was: you never got used to people trying to kill you, no matter how many times it happened.
"Are you sure you're all right?" Clark hovered by the sofa, shifting his weight awkwardly, his expression both concerned and uncertain.
There were moments in life that felt like waking up, like some light had been switched on, and everything was suddenly clear. This was one of those moments for Lex. He watched Clark watching him, and it struck him that he finally had exactly what he wanted, right here in his own living room, his heart's desire, all his for the taking. How many people could ever say that? And still, he'd been holding back, trying to deny the obvious, even to himself, insisting on calling this by some other name. Too afraid to admit that he--
The word twisted on his tongue. He'd promised himself never to say it again, to anyone, and he still wasn't ready. He squeezed his eyes shut and forced it back. The declaration would have to wait, but there were other things he could offer now. Sometimes he expressed himself better with actions than words anyway.
"Tell me something," he said to Clark.
Clark sighed tiredly, misunderstanding. "I've already told you everything I can, Lex."
"Not about that." He closed the distance between them, leaned in, whispered into Clark's ear. "What I want to know is…would you like to fuck me?" A shudder jolted Clark, and Lex had to smile. "I take that’s a yes?"
"God." Even Clark's voice was shaking. He held Lex's face in his hands and poured all his concern and relief and need into a single, shattering kiss.
Then Lex was shaking, too. "Please." Another word he didn't like to say, but apparently, the old rules meant nothing when it came to Clark.
Clark backed him against the wall and frantically pulled at his clothes, hands trembling so much that Lex had to help him.
"I want you so much," Clark said, urgently.
"Then have me. Anything you want."
Clark's answer was a flurry of hot, wet kisses, before sinking to his knees and taking Lex's cock deep into his throat.
"Fuck!" His shout split the apartment's stillness and echoed off the walls.
This was the magic that men at the club had gladly paid a hundred dollars a shot for, and even Lex's control, something he prided himself on, wasn't going to keep him from exploding like an over-anxious teenager if this went on much longer. "Stop. I'm going to--"
Apparently, this was Clark’s plan, though, because he didn't stop. He did something with his tongue that made Lex's eyes roll back in his head, had him arching his back, digging his fingers into the plaster. There was a blinding flash in his head, and then his entire body shook with his release.
He panted, light-headed from coming so hard so fast. His knees started to buckle, and his fingers scrabbled at the wall. If Clark weren't holding him up, he would have fallen.
Clark realized this, of course, and his smile was just a little bit smug. "You said anything I want." He rubbed his hand in circles over Lex's hip. "I want to make you forget your own name."
Clark's eyes glittered with amusement and something wilder, more heated. It was hard to believe this was the same boy who'd looked so young and scared only a short time ago. Now he seemed made of confidence, so certain of what he wanted. He stood up and kissed Lex and took him by the hand. "Come on."
They made it just inside the bedroom before Clark set on him, wrapping himself around Lex like a second skin, as if he was trying to get inside, make their bones meet. Lex was on fire, like his skin would burn anything it touched, and he was already starting to get hard again, too soon, hurting in the best possible way.
It had been a long time since he'd allowed himself to have this. During the post-Helen meltdown, he'd woken up too many mornings with the evidence that someone had been inside him, but no actual memory of who it had been. His grief was hard and jagged, a sharp edge he'd cut himself on again and again. It took months to finally pull himself together, to swear off all the stupid shit he'd been doing to try to forget, getting drunk and getting high and being fucked by faceless strangers. He'd grasped onto his old friend control like it was the only thing he could trust, the one thing that might save him.
Sex after that had been measured, calculated, most times bought and paid for, just to keep the lines perfectly clear. He'd always been on top, in every sense, and he'd like it that way.
Until this. Until Clark.
"Hey." Clark sensed his distraction and pulled back. "Are you sure about this?" His voice was soft with concern. "I don't want to do anything you don't want."
Lex shook his head. "You won't. You can't." It was funny how sure he was about that, and Clark's sweet answering smile only made him more certain.
They fell onto the bed together, Clark draped over him. Lex wanted so much, and there was no such thing as control anymore. But that was all right, because this wasn't Helen or Desiree or a faceless stranger. This was Clark.
Clark was pale and stark in the dim light, the tendons of his neck standing out in sharp relief, his cock thick and swollen with blood, slick against Lex's thigh. "I want--"
"Yes," Lex hissed. "Anything. I trust you."
Clark parted his legs and moved between them, slid his hands under Lex's hips, lifting them. "What you did to me our first time-- I want to do that."
"You don't have to-- Fuck!" Hot tongue on sensitive flesh, and all reason, all words were blotted out of his mind. Hell, he didn't remember his own name.
Clark turned him inside out, creatively, adding fingers alongside his tongue, scraping his teeth against the delicate skin behind his balls, making the blood pound in his temples, making him scream.
"God!" Lex panted, muscles shaking like jelly. "If you don't stop, I'm going to come." Clark hummed contentedly, but Lex knew his own limits. There wasn't going to be a third round. "Please. I want-- Inside me."
Clark reluctantly stopped. Lex reached out for the bedside drawer, fumbled to get the lube and handed it to Clark. "Use a lot. It's been a while."
Clark eased him onto his side, stretched out beside him, kissed his shoulder and whispered soft, sweet nonsense as he got him ready. Clark's talented tongue had already undone him, and now his sensitive, twisting fingers were touching that place inside him that sent electric sparks up and down his spine, made him burn all over.
"Now!" he said, voice strained with need. Clark pulled his fingers away, and Lex felt the slick trail of his cock against his ass. "Get the condoms."
Clark went still. "We don't need that." Lex started to argue, but Clark smoothed a hand over his hip. "Trust me, Lex. I can't give you anything, and you can't hurt me." His voice was quiet, serious, and Lex knew he was being given something, some small part of Clark's truth.
He nodded, giving permission, and Clark curved around him, pressed against him, slowly, surely, until Lex was breached, panting hard, sweat running down his back. He'd forgotten this, how much it hurt, the sheer physical shock of it. Clark rubbed his belly and made coaxing noises, and Lex began to grow accustomed to the sensations, the burning and the fullness and the dull ache in his belly because he was still so hard and needed to come so badly.
His body relented and opened, and Clark pressed forward, little by little. When he was all the way inside, he started to move, setting a rhythm, slowly at first, gradually faster, making Lex cry out with every stroke, because he'd forgotten this too, the bone-melting, nerve-searing ecstasy of having someone inside him.
Clark's face was hot against his neck. "God! You feel so good. You're so amazing. Never thought it could be this good."
One more first time he'd given Clark, and, really, it was a first for him, too. All the sex he'd had, and he couldn't remember another time when it was someone he loved fucking him.
Clark reached around and stroked his cock, and Lex moaned and pushed back hard, taking Clark as deep inside him as he could.
"Please!" His balls were tight against his body, and his stomach hurt. He needed to come, needed it now.
Clark thrust faster, jerked Lex's cock harder. "I love you," he muttered in Lex ear, his voice rough with passion. "Fucking love you, Lex. God. I love you so much."
It was the spark that sent him up in flames. He spasmed around Clark's cock, went off in his hand, only dimly aware of Clark climaxing inside him. There was a dull roar in his ears. His vision started to go dark like he might pass out, and he couldn't breathe. The best sex always made you just a little bit afraid, like you might actually die from it.
Clark's breath was heavy and warm against his shoulder, his arm slung possessively over Lex's hip. He pressed a kiss to Lex's cheek and gently pulled out. Lex sucked in a deep breath. His ass was sore, well-used, and he liked the feeling, liked knowing that Clark was the cause of it.
He turned in Clark's arms, because he wanted to see his face. Clark had the startled, satisfied look of first times, like someone had just let him in on the best, most important secret in the world. Lex had to grin, and Clark did, too.
Lex kissed him. "It's official. I don't remember my name."
Clark laughed, his face bright and pleased. "Me either."
Lex pulled him closer, pressed a kiss to his forehead. If all those other attempts on his life had led to moments like this, he would have been a much, much happier man. Clark snuggled against him, and Lex closed his eyes, sated and drowsy.
"I meant it, you know," he heard Clark whisper as he was falling asleep. "I really do love you."
***
Not surprisingly, Lex was late to work the next day. He'd woken up to soft kisses on his face, opened his eyes to find Clark leaning over him, wide-awake and hungry. They'd made love in the shower. Clark had blown him and fucked him again, and it would probably be several days before he could sit down without feeling it. But who cared? A little soreness was nothing when he had everything he wanted.
He was whistling as he got off the elevator, but stopped short when he saw Phelan lounging in a chair in the reception area.
"Someone's in a good mood this morning." Phelan's smirk was knowing and filthy, and Lex had the urge to wipe it off his face, preferably with violence.
"This way," he said curtly, heading down the corridor to his office.
He closed the door behind them, motioned Phelan to a chair and sat down at his desk.
"Okay. Show me what you've got."
Phelan's expression grew serious as he got down to business. He pulled out a small notebook. "The subject's name is Clark Kent, adopted son of Martha and Jonathan Kent. They own and operate a small farm in Smallville, KS."
"Smallville?"
"Yeah. That mean something to you?"
"Nothing. Just--" He waved his hand. "Go on." Of course, Clark would be from the one place Lex most wanted to forget.
"The subject disappeared approximately four months ago. He's seventeen years old, previously enrolled in Smallville High School." Phelan's voice was even, professional, but his mouth turned up at the corner in a mocking smile.
Lex stared him down, keeping his own face blank, refusing to give any ground, but, God, seventeen. Of course, he'd known Clark was young. He'd been careful never to ask exactly how young, in case he ever needed to plead ignorance. Still, the way Clark carried himself, smiled his way through society functions like a veteran, all the things they'd done together in bed…how could that have possibly come from a junior in high school?
He cleared his throat. "Why'd he take off?"
"That's not completely clear. There was an accident, as you suggested. Family truck flipped over. The boy's mother was pregnant, lost the baby."
"Was Clark driving?"
Phelan shook his head. "His father. There was also--" He frowned at his notes.
"What?"
"Details are somewhat sketchy, but it seems the truck wreck was caused by some kind of explosion. It left behind a pretty good-sized crater on the farm."
"How did that happen?"
"No one seems to know. Underground gas pipe leak possibly. Or farm chemicals improperly stored. There was some gossip that maybe they were making drugs out there. Doesn't seem too credible, though. If they were drug kingpins, I doubt they'd be facing foreclose."
"They're going to lose the farm?"
Phelan nodded. "A matter of months at the most." Phelan opened his briefcase and pulled out a large envelope. "I have a few things here you might want to see." He took out a book, flipped it open and held it out to Lex.
There was Clark, wide-eyed and smiling in his yearbook picture. Lex's throat closed up. Phelan smiled, enjoying himself a great deal, and Lex never hated anyone more.
"Then there's this." Phelan laid a flyer on the desk, handmade, the same picture of Clark and a desperate plea to call if anyone had seen him. "His parents put these up all over the county."
"That's enough," Lex snapped, pushing the flyer away.
Phelan shrugged. "Hey, you wanted me to be thorough." He tucked the yearbook and leaflet back into the envelope and set it on Lex's desk. "I'll leave this for you. There's a full report, some background on the parents, copies of the kid's report cards, that kind of thing." Phelan smiled like a snake.
Lex glared coldly. "We're finished here. You'll get your check later today."
"That's fine." Phelan got to his feet. "You know, there is one thing I found kind of odd."
"Oh, yeah?"
Phelan nodded. "The parents never filed a missing person's report. A seventeen year old kid, never been in trouble, so why didn't they go to the police for help?"
"Maybe they have a less than stellar opinion of the boys in blue." He gave Phelan a small, tight smile.
Phelan laughed. "Hey, that could be it." He winked. "Good doing business with you, Lex. As always."
Lex let out his breath once Phelan was gone. There were so many things racing through his head. Could Clark have had something to do with the mysterious explosion on the farm? Did he have other abilities, potentially dangerous ones, that Lex hadn't seen yet? He had no doubt that Clark's parents had avoided the police to try to protect his secrets. But what did Phelan really know about it? Was he just trying to fuck with Lex's head as usual? Or did he have real suspicions about Clark? How was that even possible when Clark had been in Metropolis the whole time Phelan was conducting the investigation?
He pulled everything out of the envelope and laid it on his desk. There were surveillance photos of the farm, shots of a middle-aged couple, Clark's parents. They looked like good people, and Lex knew they must be sick with worry, not knowing where Clark was, if he was even all right.
He stared at the flyer. He could feel the desperation in the handwritten lettering: "Reward offered. Please call!" Phelan had said they didn't have any money, that their farm was even on the line. And yet, they were obviously willing to do whatever it took to get their boy back. Their seventeen-year-old son whom Lex had had sex with only a few hours ago.
Could he really let them go on wondering whether Clark was dead or alive?
He pushed the question away with a vicious effort of will, shoved everything back into the envelope and tossed it into a desk drawer. The Kents had had their chance. Clark had left for some reason, and he was Lex’s now. Lex would do a much better job taking care of him. He’d give Clark everything, protect him…love him.
He forced himself to concentrate on other matters, take care of business. He moved ahead with a deal to acquire a Japanese R&D firm, approved new staff positions to help deal with the upsurge in business, and most importantly, put in a call to Mason Tucker, his security consultant, to report the attempt on his life.
Tucker was grave on the other end of the line. "That's a significant escalation."
"I certainly thought so," Lex said dryly.
"We'll accelerate our plans and beef up your personal security."
"I don't need more security. I just need to know who the hell is doing this."
He hung up, and the urge to open the drawer and take out the envelope was nearly overpowering. The image of Clark in his high school yearbook lingered in his mind’s eye, along with that frantic “please call!” from the flyer.
Fuck. Why had he chosen now to develop a conscience?
He sighed and scrubbed his hands over his face. Of course, he couldn’t just return Clark to his family, even if he was that selfless. Only Clark could decide if he wanted to go back to them or not. Now that Lex knew the truth, though, he felt a responsibility to at least pose the question. Even if Clark leaving him was the last thing in the world he ever wanted.
He buzzed his assistant. "I need you to gather some materials for me."
Lex sighed. Frankly, having a conscience sucked. He had no real idea what he was going to say to Clark. He'd just have to find some way to sound him out. Maybe he'd end up showing him the flyer his parents had posted. Or maybe he'd give him even more reason to stay in Metropolis. Clark's reactions would have to be his guide. But no matter which way it went, he'd make sure that Clark had a good life, just as he deserved.
***
He found Clark in the kitchen when he got home, cooking, which was a new thing. He leaned against the doorframe and watched with amusement as Clark emptied a rather daunting amount of cayenne pepper into the skillet.
“I didn’t realize this was another of your talents.”
Clark turned and smiled. “I hope you like tacos.”
“It looks very-- authentic.”
He crossed the kitchen and gave Clark a kiss.
Clark smiled and kissed him back. “Yeah, I might have gone a little overboard with the spices. Sorry about that.”
“I’m sure I’m going to love it.” He held onto Clark like someone was trying to take him away. He couldn't help being aware that this might be their last evening together.
Clark rubbed his back. “Hey. Everything okay?”
Lex nodded and made himself let go. “Fine. Is it almost time to eat? I’m starving.”
"Almost." Clark gave him another long look of concern before going back to his cooking.
Lex set the table, and they sat down to dinner together. Clark talked about his day. He and Mitzi had gone to the museum of modern art, but Lex was too distracted to really listen. He kept thinking ahead, imaging the conversation they were going to have, what it would mean to their relationship, drinking Clark in, as if this were his last chance, trying to memorize every detail.
After they finished, they put the dishes in the dishwasher and cleaned up the kitchen.
“Hey." Clark touched him lightly on the arm. "Are you sure nothing's wrong?”
Lex sighed. “There is something-- Let’s go sit down and talk, okay?"
He led Clark into the living room, and they settled onto the sofa. Lex's briefcase was on the coffee table, ready.
He cleared his throat. "I know you don't like discussing your past, and I respect that. But I have something I need to ask, and it's important."
Clark met his eyes nervously. "What? And why is it so important?"
"I just-- I need to know-- Are you sure this is where you want to be?"
Clark recoiled, as if he'd been hit. "Are you saying-- You don't want-- Did I do something wrong?"
"No! That's not what I'm saying. And of course you didn't do anything wrong. It's just--" He let out his breath. "What about your family, Clark? Do you ever think about going back home to them?"
Clark shook his head decisively. "No."
"They have to be worried."
"I can take care of myself. They know that."
"Clark."
"Look, Lex, they don't want me. Okay?" His voice was sharp, but there was a deep hurt in his eyes.
Lex put his arm around him. "I know that's not true."
"You didn't see the look on my father's face. He made things pretty clear."
"Clark, I don't know what happened, but people get angry sometimes. They say things they don't really mean. But you're his son and--"
"No, I'm not. Not really. And--" He stared down at the floor. "My mom was pregnant, and the baby died. Because of me. Even if they did forgive me-- I can't go back there, Lex. I can't face them. Ever."
Clark's expression was pleading, and Lex couldn't look away. He'd tried to do the right thing. He really had. He felt for the Kents. Anyone would. But the look on Clark's face-- A million desperate flyers would never be a match for that.
"Then stay here," he said. "With me."
Clark's face lit up. "Really?"
"Of course. I just-- I want to do what's best for you."
"You're what's best for me." Clark threw his arms around Lex's neck and held on tightly. "I love you so much."
Lex wanted to say it back, but the words just wouldn't come. So he stroked Clark's back and kissed him like he'd never stop, hoping Clark would understand everything that meant.
Clark settled into the curve of his arm, and Lex pressed a kiss to his temple. "Hey, I've got something for you." He leaned forward, opened his briefcase, took out the envelope his assistant had put together for him. "Here."
Clark opened it and looked puzzled. "A Met U catalogue?"
"I thought you might want to start considering college. Met U is my alma mater. Well, after my somewhat colorful career at Princeton came to a premature end."
Clark looked down at the catalogue and back up at Lex. "That's so nice of you. I always wanted--" There was a light, hopeful look on his face for a moment, but then he shook his head. "I can't. Thanks, though. I really appreciate the thought."
"Hey." He squeezed Clark's shoulder. "Of course, you can. I know you're smart. I know you're interested." Clark started to say something, and Lex held up his hand. "Don't try to tell me you're not. I don't believe it. Whatever problems you're imagining, we'll find a way around them."
Clark wouldn't look at him. "I didn't finish high school."
"You can get your GED. Look at the rest of the stuff I got you. There's a schedule for the test and a study guide." He held Clark's eye. "You can do anything you want. Be anyone you want to be."
"I want to be with you," Clark said, softly.
"A career and a personal life aren't mutually exclusive."
"You mean--" He blinked, his eyes lighting up again. "I could go to school and we would be--"
Lex kissed him. "That's exactly what I mean."
But Clark's expression closed up again, not at all what Lex had expected.
"What?"
Clark shook his head. "Nothing. It just-- It wouldn't work out."
"Clark."
He sighed. “My school records…I can’t use my real name. I don’t want my parents to find me.”
“That's not a problem. You just do the studying and pass the test. I'll take care of the rest.”
“But how--”
“Clark, I have a lot of influence in this town, and using it to help you get the education you deserve will probably be the noblest thing I ever do with it. So there’s nothing to worry about. Okay?”
Clark looked torn for a moment, but then broke into a luminous smile and gave Lex a big hug. “Thank you.”
Lex closed his eyes and held on tight. “I just want you to have a good life.”
Clark whispered against his cheek, “I already do.”
***