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This primer is for [personal profile] no_detective who wanted to read some Sid/Geno stories. I linked her to the primers that got me into the fandom, especially this one by [personal profile] pun: Sidney Crosby/Evgeni Malkin mini primer. But they are all several years old now, and I felt like there really needed to be an update.

As the title says, this is not remotely comprehensive, just a little window into the characters and pairing as of the now, and of course it's all my opinion. YMMV! Feel free to discuss in the comments.

Sidney Crosby

When I first got into hockey, Sid totally struck me as a hockey robot. Whenever he's in the public spotlight, the mix of nearly lifelong media training, scrupulous politeness, hesitancy to talk about anything even remotely personal, and social awkwardness can make him seem like he's from another planet. But as I've followed the Penguins and Sid more closely, it's become clear that, as with most celebrities, there's a divide between Sid's public performance and the person he is with his teammates, friends and family. In the glimpses we get of Sid in his natural habitat, he's still totally a dork, but he's nothing at all like a robot.

He's a guy who hangs out with his teammates playing poker.

Is apparently kind of bad at video games.


He has possibly the most ridiculous laugh/giggle/honk on the planet.

And his teammates give him plenty to giggle about.

He's actually quite sociable with his team and other hockey players, frequently goes to dinner with the guys, and goes over to their houses unless they have black cats (very superstitious, this one). He is good friends with the French Canadians on the team: Marc Andre Fleury (Flower), Pascal Dupuis (Duper), and Kris Letang (Tanger).

Earlier this year, he came out to a charity walk to raise awareness about heart disease that was presided over by Kris Letang, who suffered a stroke the previous season.

While there, he played Uncle Sid to Duper's kids.

He's a sweet, if dorky, older brother who took his sister to last summer's NHL Awards (where he won a carload of trophies).

He's crazy about kids. The joke about him trying to steal one is only kind of a joke.


He supports the Little Penguins program, giving time and money to help kids learn the game. I couldn't figure out how to embed this video, but you should watch it because it's adorable!

On the ice, Sid can sometimes be a little shit.

Especially against the Flyers, because he really doesn't like them at all.

And he can get pretty salty when he doesn't approve of how things are going during a game.

Although he is an elite athlete, he's not a health food nut, has said that he'll eat pretty much anything, and the first thing he did after his broken jaw got better was to consume a bag of candy (or at least that's the rumor).

It seems to work for him, because he is spectacular at hockey.

And has the most amazing hockey ass in the NHL.

In fact there is an entire picspam devoted to it.

His booty is celebrated by fanboys and fangirls alike.

Really, all of him is pretty amazing.

Other things that delight me about him:

-When he finally bought a sports car after years of driving a very practical SUV, he got a Tesla. It's good for the environment!

-He took an online course this season on World War II history, because he promised his mother he would.

-This past summer when a news story surfaced claiming that Sid had been arrested for drunk driving in Ottawa, the entire Internet was like: um, yeah, no, we don't think so. And in fact, Sid was training in Colorado at the time.


My initial impression of Geno was that he was puppyish and delightful, which is true. But something that can get lost in translation is his puckish sense of humor. He's definitely a prankster. And although he's not much on talking to the media, he has occasional moments of brilliance at it. He can be a bit of a dick at times (in a way that just makes him more lovable). When he's in those moods, his teammates gleefully refer to him as "The Bully."

To get a sense of Geno's whimsy, here is a picture of him with the President of his country.

When good friend Sergei Gonchar reached a milestone in his career, Geno broke out the magic markers and glitter to celebrate.

Nobody, I mean absolutely NOBODY, enjoys a vacation more than Evgeni Malkin.

And he's never met an animal that he didn't want to hug.

Geno had a cat, Dixi, but she has sadly passed away. She was a very cute little kitty cat.

He also has a dog, Jeffrey, who is a Dogue de Bordeaux. Jeffrey used to feature prominently in stories until we discovered that although Geno is an animal lover he's not the best pet owner, and Jeffrey actually lives in Russia with Geno's parents.

Like Sid, Geno is also extremely fond of children. He visits and donates money to orphanages back home in Russia.

As mentioned earlier, Geno has a sneaky sense of humor that sometimes gets overlooked because of the language barrier. When he was late for a team meeting, former coach Dan Bylsma gently chided him by saying: Geno, it's good to see you. To which Geno dryly responded: Yes, is good to see me.

His way of congratulating Flower on his 300th win was not like the others.

Geno is tall and lanky, but somehow on the ice he appears big and intimidating. When he's playing his best, he's utterly dominating, which excites some people. So I've heard. *whistles innocently* Check out this video of his top 10 goals for a glimpse of how hot his hockey is.

When I first got into hockey, I went from thinking he wasn't attractive to having drool on my chin in the span of about an hour. I'm told this is not an atypical reaction.

Is it wrong that I find the scar on his knee really sexy? Is it just me?

Other things that delight me about him:

-Putting aside all fannish daydreaming, his girlfriend is smokin' hot, and they are super sexy and sweet together. [UPDATE: Geno and Anna are married now and have baby Nikita.]

-He has no problem making out with girls while wearing a Crosby T-shirt.

-His Instagram profile pic is a drawing of three penguins labeled Sid, Geno and Neal.


There's been some debate in fandom about how close they are in real life, whether they hang out together or not. You decide! But most people do agree that there is deep and genuine respect and regard between them. Occasionally, the media tries to create a narrative about feuding superstars, but if you follow them for a while, you quickly see that they always have each other's backs. Check out this Whirl magazine piece for more about that.

In interviews, Geno has repeatedly said that Sid is the best hockey player in the world and the best person he knows. He has called Sid his hero.

When asked who he would pick first in the fantasy draft, Sid said without an instant's hesitation: I'd have to take my teammate Geno.

The 2014 Olympics took a toll on Geno. There was friction with the coaching staff, and team Russia ended up being eliminated before the medal round. Back in Pittsburgh after the games, Geno continued to struggle until he and Sid had a heart to heart.

Sid and Geno are unselfish with each other on the ice and always want the other one to do well. In the second game of the first round match up against the Rangers in the 2015 playoffs, there was an empty net scoring opportunity. Sid passed to Geno, because he hadn't scored yet in the series, and Geno tried to pass it back to Sid, so he could get the hat trick. It ended in no goal for either one, but still managed to be incredibly charming.

Who knows what they talk about, but they make each other laugh.



I love how they always support and celebrate one another.


You'd think from Sid's jubilation here that he was the one who scored a goal, but nope. It was Geno.


Their hearts will go on and on!

In conclusion:
Even though this weird egg is in constant danger, Sid and Geno will protect it together 4EVA. :)
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October 2016

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