Tonight's SV ep

[scribblinlenore]

Okay, I think I'm going to have to stop reading spoilers, because sometimes they really do-- well, spoil things. I probably would have liked this ep okay. Or at least I wouldn't have been disappointed. But I read them. And I am. Disappointed.

Lex is really acting weird and creepy. Although I did kind of enjoy the way he baited Clark about the whole alien thing, because, well, it was interaction between the two of them. And I found it kind of sexy. But then, I might find it sexy if Lex and Clark talked about what toilet bowl cleaner is the most effective. It's not a really high standard I have, I'm afraid.

But when he shows Helen the secret room? Shudder. He seems like a maniac. I mean, there's obsession. And then there's totally unhinged, freak-ass consumed-until-you-go-loony sickness. And, to me, this teetered.

I guess that could be one way Lex goes bad. By going completely INSANE. But yuck.

The secret room scene is the major source of my disappointment. When I read the spoilers I pictured less of a badly f/xed mad scientist's lair, and more of a-- well, masturbatorium with all kinds of Clark artifacts everywhere. I want my big gay fantasy, damn it!





I really felt that Lex deserved a better obsession than they gave him. So I wrote my own. It's mean to Helen. If you love her, I wouldn't read it.

***

Pondering
by Lenore

"Your obsession?" Helen sounds uncertain

Lex is not sure why that's so satisfying. Why he gets such a thrill out of pushing the envelope with the women he dates. Clark is very special to me. He'd said that just yesterday. I don't know why the girls at his school aren't more interested in him. A remark from last week. With Victoria, he'd once gone so far as to ask, Don't you think Clark is attractive?

Lex supposes these asides might seem perfectly meaningless if you didn't know him. Maybe that's even what he's been trying to prove. That none of these women really do. Know him at all.

Or maybe it's just that this is the closest he's ever going to get to actually telling someone. I want to fuck Clark so bad it hurts. Some people have true confessions. Lex has these cat-and-mouse games he plays with the girlfriends who are screwing him over.

Helen takes a tentative step into the room. She stares at the twisted wreck of the Porsche. Lex can only imagine how that must seem to her, a gruesome reminder ensconced as if it is a precious treasure. But when Lex looks at it, there is nothing like death, only the fresh earth beneath him, the sky curving overhead like endless possibility, a taste in his mouth so wholesome and sweet he still dreams about it.

"What do you do in here?" Helen asks.

"Ponder."

"It's, um-- very modern."

Space-age surfaces have the advantage of quick clean up, and pondering can get messy.

Lex only smiles.

Helen shifts her weight. It makes her nervous to be here, and maybe Lex shouldn't be such a sadistic bastard. The real game is with himself after all, not with her, and if Helen doesn't actually turn out to be on his father's payroll, he may have to feel bad about this somewhere down the line.

He's pretty sure, though, that's not a serious concern.

"I, uh-- There's something I need to--" She vaguely gestures in the direction of the door. "But thanks. For showing me."

"No problem."

He smiles like an attentive boyfriend while she flees the room. He can just imagine the look on her face as he closes the door behind her and turns the lock.

He moves to stand in front of the picture of Clark, who looks down at him with an unknowable expression, like a riddle, a challenge, like the only thing that will ever truly be worth having. It's ridiculous, Lex knows, to think that gaining Clark's secret will be anything like having Clark himself. But he suspects it's the closest he's ever going to get, and even he has to make do sometimes.

Lex cheers himself up by remembering Helen's shocked expression. After today, the door will stay locked, and Clark will be all his once more. Helen won't ask about it. She won't even come to this part of the house again, he feels certain.

And that will make it so much better. The problem with secret obsessions is that there's nobody to appreciate the greedy pleasure you're hording all to yourself. But now Helen knows, whether she'll admit it to herself or not, and every time Lex comes here, locks the door, immerses himself in Clark, it will be a little more vivid, a little more like the real thing.

He smiles up at the picture and decides to start enjoying his windfall now. Helen can wait. And when it comes to pondering the beautiful mystery that is Clark Kent, Lex has learned, there's no time quite like the present.

Comments

Re: I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.

[danielleleigh.livejournal.com]

I thought your comment about MR playing himself playing Lex is very astute...there was this hyperawareness of himself in relation to others, that makes him seem not quite comfortable in his skin. For some reason I think bonibaru's (http://www.livejournal.com/users/bonibaru/) points this morning about POV-issues, i.e we are seeing Lex from Clark's and Helen's viewpoints, and therefore he feels a little "off" to us could explain that away. (Ur. She explains it much better than I so go read her wonderful post!)

and the story!!! loved this line He's pretty sure, though, that's not a serious concern.. That line alone above everything else just gives me *chills*, the way Lex has weighed his own (future) conscience against his (current) obsessive nature, and guess which one wins?

Lovely and thanks for sharing, Lenore!

Re: I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

For some reason I think bonibaru's points this morning about POV-issues, i.e we are seeing Lex from Clark's and Helen's viewpoints, and therefore he feels a little "off" to us could explain that away.

I thought that was interesting, too. My only hesitation is that bonibaru is infinitely smarter and more sophisticated than the people who write this show. So I'm not completely convinced they were thinking of it in that way. Although I suppose it would explain that weird jagged energy I got from Lex. In most of his scenes, he's making somebody uncomfortable, and maybe that's what I was picking up on.

Thanks so much for the feedback on my story, Danielle. It's not how I usually write Lex (or *like* to write him), but it is how he struck me last night. I'm so glad it worked for you!

Re: I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.

[runpunkrun]

I thought your comment about MR playing himself playing Lex is very astute...there was this hyperawareness of himself in relation to others, that makes him seem not quite comfortable in his skin.

Hyperawareness! That's it exactly. The first thing I thought when I saw that first scene with Lex and Clark was that MR was acting as if someone had turned his this is going to sound very porny Lex-knob all the way up to 10. He'd lost any subtlety in his performance, and Lex came off totally manic. On purpose, I'm sure, but it was very jarring after nearly two-seasons of Lex being the exact opposite of that electric energy. Before, it was all implied. Last night it was made explicit.