Feedback Challenge: For Rhiannonhero
May. 20th, 2004 11:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scribblinlenoreFirst, thanks to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
pun for coming up with this great idea for a challenge. When I first got into Smallville fandom, I sent a good amount of feedback, but as time has worn on, I've really fallen down on the job. I'm always making resolutions to be better about letting people know how much I like their work, but, well, resolutions are made to be broken, at least if you're me they are. So this is a great opportunity to show some love, and yay for that!
I was very happy when I gotrhiannonhero in the challenge (thanks for hooking me up, Punny! *g*), because I know Rhi's work pretty well and her Orbiting series is one of the stories I read when I was first getting interested in Smallville and helped lure me into the fandom. It also gave me the perfect excuse to go back and reread a lot of Rhi's stories, for research purposes of course, and yay for that, as well!
So without further ado, here are passages from three of Rhi's stories and what I like about them.
Sepia, from the Seasons series
Clark had noticed his mother breaking the sweaters out of their mothball prisons in preparation for the cold snap everyone kept saying was just around the corner. And his father was speaking of harvest and the crops as though they were something holy. Clark supposed that he could concede that maybe they were, you know, in that mysterious birth-death-rebirth way. But he hated this time of year, it spoke to him of bitterness and never-coulds and never-woulds. And it wasn't just the Scarecrow thing; it had been like this forever, for as long as he could remember.
He had arrived at the beginning of autumn. He had plummeted to earth, trespassed on the planet, bringing devastation along with him. Maybe he didn't really blame himself any more for that, but hell, grief had been in the air when he stepped out of that space craft. Grief and the scent of coming autumn mixed forever in his mind with the unremembered trauma of losing his birthparents and what had to have been a terrifying solo flight through space.
No, it wasn't quite autumn yet, and it hadn't been then either, but the dying light was already marking his mood and the first of the brown leaves on the concrete sidewalks brought some odd feeling like tears to his throat. A sense of ending, a path already lost, a time vanished. Mainly just sensations of gone, gone, gone pulsing through his body and soul. And a bitterness in his mouth that said, "Too late."
All the stories in this series are beautifully written, but this is my favorite passage in my favorite story of them all. It's thick with atmosphere and emotion; I am pulled so far into Clark's experience that I can taste autumn on my tongue. It's also chocked full of wonderful imagery and turns of phrase: Martha "breaking the sweaters out of their mothball prisons"; Jonathan "speaking of harvest and the crops as though they were something holy"; the notion that Clark "trespassed on the planet" when he stepped out of that ship into that cornfield.
It's easy to forget what Clark has lost in all that he's gained: adoptive parents who love him, invulnerability and unimaginable power; a destiny of greatness; a second chance at life. So I love that Rhi doesn't forget or overlook Clark's grief in this story, that although she recognizes that he will probably always carry some guilt for what happened that day, this story is really about his loss. It's about: Grief and the scent of coming autumn mixed forever in his mind with the unremembered trauma of losing his birthparents and what had to have been a terrifying solo flight through space.
Clark is such a poignant character when you think about it--this boy hurtled across the galaxy, doing the best he can to get along in a world where he will never truly belong, plagued by questions of where he came from and why they sent him away. This story shows how stubborn that pain is and treats it with great compassion, and that's why I love it so much.
Soulquake, from the Orbiting series
"Where were you, Clark?"
Lex's voice was quiet, only slightly accusatory, very distant. Lex sat in his leather chair, in the dark, his feet propped up on the ottoman. His left hand held a short glass of amber liquid and the bandaged arm was strapped up close to his chest in a way that was more comfortable for him.
Clark dropped his book bag to the floor.
He knew that Lex wasn't asking him where he had just been. Lex knew he had class. He glanced around the penthouse, x-rayed throughout. His mom wasn't here. She must have gone out to get something for Lex...or maybe just stepped out to get fresh air. The penthouse was full of the smell of sickness, the industrial cleaners that had been used to remove the blood, and the chilling scent of anguish or fear. Maybe both. Clark could smell it from the ground floor.
Lex just looked at him. Silent. This was the question that Clark had been waiting for, dreading, since Lex first opened his eyes. Because, yeah, where was he that night? Not here. Not here, that was for fucking sure.
My feedback for Rhi is going to be rather Clark-centric, which is weird, since I'm more a Lex gal. But, again, in this story, I thought Rhi got to the heart of one of the most poignant and painful truths of Clark's life, that he can't always be there, no matter how powerful he is or how hard he tries. Not even for the people he most loves in the world. When Lex says "where were you?", it's almost like the litany of a Greek chorus, the one question that will haunt Clark for the rest of his life.
Of course, it's difficult for all us to accept that we have limitations, but for Clark, the stakes are ratcheted up so high that when he does fail it's devastating, to him, to the people around him, to those of us reading along at home. That devastation comes through loud and clear in this passage, in this story, and it breaks my heart into a million pieces. The way Lex loses his hand is both clever and chilling, and I went around for days after first reading it with an unsettled feeling I just couldn’t shake. In the end, Clark "fails" again, in a different fashion, morally not physically, and Lex is there to help him pick up the pieces, to help him get back on the right track with his "mission statement." And in so doing, Lex starts to put himself back together, as well.
Soulquake shows how beneficial and dangerous (Clark avenging Lex is truly terrifying) it would be if they ended up on the same side rather than as enemies, and that notion has fascinated me ever since.
Rush Complete
Chloe shuddered under him as he fucked her. Her pussy clamping down when he said, "Come on, Pete, don't you want to fuck her? Don't you want to let her suck your cock?"
Pete's eyes rolled back in his head and he whimpered.
"Don't try to pimp me out, Kent. This pussy is just for you." Chloe's voice was breathy and tight.
Clark ran a hand down from her hip, over her soft belly to her clit. He stroked it firmly, her soft pubic hair tickling his palm. He fucked her less forcefully and bent over her back, licking around her ear.
"I know that's a lie. Your pussy's been around." Clark teased her earlobe with tongue, the same rhythm as his hand on her clit. "Not that I mind, you're still tight and wet." Clark paused, then whispered, "Not as tight as Kyla, not as wet as Jesse."
Chloe growled. "Fuck you."
"Didn't know I'd fucked them, did you?" Clark chuckled against her ear and increased the speed of his hand between her legs. "Lana would be tighter than you, not so wet. She'd never suck Pete off while I fucked her."
"Lana's a fucking prude." Chloe's voice was ragged and Clark could feel her body tensing as it had when he'd eaten her out and she'd come crying his name.
(And just a little while later, after Chloe gives in and starts to suck Pete off…)
Clark grinned; Chloe was an easy sale if you knew the right buttons to push.
It's fairly well known what a great love I have for threesomes. Usually, I prefer Clark and Lex and some girl, it doesn't matter who, I'm really just there for Clark and Lex. And ordinarily, too, I would run, run away, from any story that puts Pete in a sexual situation. And yet, this is one of my favorite threesome stories ever. Because the dynamics among the three of them feel real, and Rhi does know how to bring the hotness! When I first read this, I swear my eyes bugged out of my head. Since I am a pretty dirty girl, that's quite an accomplishment.
I don't always enjoy stories about red!Clark, at least not when he's just being a physically threatening, power-mad brute. And that's one of the reasons that I like this story so much. Rhi shows red-Clark at his manipulative best, a confident, persuasive sociopath who knows how to get what he wants without threats or force…or any particular concern for anyone else's well-being, either. The way he plays on Chloe's jealousy of Lana is both clever and true to her character--not to mention damned hot!
pun for coming up with this great idea for a challenge. When I first got into Smallville fandom, I sent a good amount of feedback, but as time has worn on, I've really fallen down on the job. I'm always making resolutions to be better about letting people know how much I like their work, but, well, resolutions are made to be broken, at least if you're me they are. So this is a great opportunity to show some love, and yay for that!I was very happy when I got
rhiannonhero in the challenge (thanks for hooking me up, Punny! *g*), because I know Rhi's work pretty well and her Orbiting series is one of the stories I read when I was first getting interested in Smallville and helped lure me into the fandom. It also gave me the perfect excuse to go back and reread a lot of Rhi's stories, for research purposes of course, and yay for that, as well! So without further ado, here are passages from three of Rhi's stories and what I like about them.
Sepia, from the Seasons series
Clark had noticed his mother breaking the sweaters out of their mothball prisons in preparation for the cold snap everyone kept saying was just around the corner. And his father was speaking of harvest and the crops as though they were something holy. Clark supposed that he could concede that maybe they were, you know, in that mysterious birth-death-rebirth way. But he hated this time of year, it spoke to him of bitterness and never-coulds and never-woulds. And it wasn't just the Scarecrow thing; it had been like this forever, for as long as he could remember.
He had arrived at the beginning of autumn. He had plummeted to earth, trespassed on the planet, bringing devastation along with him. Maybe he didn't really blame himself any more for that, but hell, grief had been in the air when he stepped out of that space craft. Grief and the scent of coming autumn mixed forever in his mind with the unremembered trauma of losing his birthparents and what had to have been a terrifying solo flight through space.
No, it wasn't quite autumn yet, and it hadn't been then either, but the dying light was already marking his mood and the first of the brown leaves on the concrete sidewalks brought some odd feeling like tears to his throat. A sense of ending, a path already lost, a time vanished. Mainly just sensations of gone, gone, gone pulsing through his body and soul. And a bitterness in his mouth that said, "Too late."
All the stories in this series are beautifully written, but this is my favorite passage in my favorite story of them all. It's thick with atmosphere and emotion; I am pulled so far into Clark's experience that I can taste autumn on my tongue. It's also chocked full of wonderful imagery and turns of phrase: Martha "breaking the sweaters out of their mothball prisons"; Jonathan "speaking of harvest and the crops as though they were something holy"; the notion that Clark "trespassed on the planet" when he stepped out of that ship into that cornfield.
It's easy to forget what Clark has lost in all that he's gained: adoptive parents who love him, invulnerability and unimaginable power; a destiny of greatness; a second chance at life. So I love that Rhi doesn't forget or overlook Clark's grief in this story, that although she recognizes that he will probably always carry some guilt for what happened that day, this story is really about his loss. It's about: Grief and the scent of coming autumn mixed forever in his mind with the unremembered trauma of losing his birthparents and what had to have been a terrifying solo flight through space.
Clark is such a poignant character when you think about it--this boy hurtled across the galaxy, doing the best he can to get along in a world where he will never truly belong, plagued by questions of where he came from and why they sent him away. This story shows how stubborn that pain is and treats it with great compassion, and that's why I love it so much.
Soulquake, from the Orbiting series
"Where were you, Clark?"
Lex's voice was quiet, only slightly accusatory, very distant. Lex sat in his leather chair, in the dark, his feet propped up on the ottoman. His left hand held a short glass of amber liquid and the bandaged arm was strapped up close to his chest in a way that was more comfortable for him.
Clark dropped his book bag to the floor.
He knew that Lex wasn't asking him where he had just been. Lex knew he had class. He glanced around the penthouse, x-rayed throughout. His mom wasn't here. She must have gone out to get something for Lex...or maybe just stepped out to get fresh air. The penthouse was full of the smell of sickness, the industrial cleaners that had been used to remove the blood, and the chilling scent of anguish or fear. Maybe both. Clark could smell it from the ground floor.
Lex just looked at him. Silent. This was the question that Clark had been waiting for, dreading, since Lex first opened his eyes. Because, yeah, where was he that night? Not here. Not here, that was for fucking sure.
My feedback for Rhi is going to be rather Clark-centric, which is weird, since I'm more a Lex gal. But, again, in this story, I thought Rhi got to the heart of one of the most poignant and painful truths of Clark's life, that he can't always be there, no matter how powerful he is or how hard he tries. Not even for the people he most loves in the world. When Lex says "where were you?", it's almost like the litany of a Greek chorus, the one question that will haunt Clark for the rest of his life.
Of course, it's difficult for all us to accept that we have limitations, but for Clark, the stakes are ratcheted up so high that when he does fail it's devastating, to him, to the people around him, to those of us reading along at home. That devastation comes through loud and clear in this passage, in this story, and it breaks my heart into a million pieces. The way Lex loses his hand is both clever and chilling, and I went around for days after first reading it with an unsettled feeling I just couldn’t shake. In the end, Clark "fails" again, in a different fashion, morally not physically, and Lex is there to help him pick up the pieces, to help him get back on the right track with his "mission statement." And in so doing, Lex starts to put himself back together, as well.
Soulquake shows how beneficial and dangerous (Clark avenging Lex is truly terrifying) it would be if they ended up on the same side rather than as enemies, and that notion has fascinated me ever since.
Rush Complete
Chloe shuddered under him as he fucked her. Her pussy clamping down when he said, "Come on, Pete, don't you want to fuck her? Don't you want to let her suck your cock?"
Pete's eyes rolled back in his head and he whimpered.
"Don't try to pimp me out, Kent. This pussy is just for you." Chloe's voice was breathy and tight.
Clark ran a hand down from her hip, over her soft belly to her clit. He stroked it firmly, her soft pubic hair tickling his palm. He fucked her less forcefully and bent over her back, licking around her ear.
"I know that's a lie. Your pussy's been around." Clark teased her earlobe with tongue, the same rhythm as his hand on her clit. "Not that I mind, you're still tight and wet." Clark paused, then whispered, "Not as tight as Kyla, not as wet as Jesse."
Chloe growled. "Fuck you."
"Didn't know I'd fucked them, did you?" Clark chuckled against her ear and increased the speed of his hand between her legs. "Lana would be tighter than you, not so wet. She'd never suck Pete off while I fucked her."
"Lana's a fucking prude." Chloe's voice was ragged and Clark could feel her body tensing as it had when he'd eaten her out and she'd come crying his name.
(And just a little while later, after Chloe gives in and starts to suck Pete off…)
Clark grinned; Chloe was an easy sale if you knew the right buttons to push.
It's fairly well known what a great love I have for threesomes. Usually, I prefer Clark and Lex and some girl, it doesn't matter who, I'm really just there for Clark and Lex. And ordinarily, too, I would run, run away, from any story that puts Pete in a sexual situation. And yet, this is one of my favorite threesome stories ever. Because the dynamics among the three of them feel real, and Rhi does know how to bring the hotness! When I first read this, I swear my eyes bugged out of my head. Since I am a pretty dirty girl, that's quite an accomplishment.
I don't always enjoy stories about red!Clark, at least not when he's just being a physically threatening, power-mad brute. And that's one of the reasons that I like this story so much. Rhi shows red-Clark at his manipulative best, a confident, persuasive sociopath who knows how to get what he wants without threats or force…or any particular concern for anyone else's well-being, either. The way he plays on Chloe's jealousy of Lana is both clever and true to her character--not to mention damned hot!
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Date: 2004-05-20 02:18 pm (UTC)