Who wants to play a round of Spammy Subject Line Smut?

[scribblinlenore]

I stayed home feeling sickly today with the sinus headache from hell, and I had this naive idea that maybe I'd get some writing done, since I have ideas for both my Nathan/Peter ficathon story and an SPN story, but I can't concentrate when I have a headache. So I needs me some entertainment. And I thought we could play a game!

I've been collecting interesting spam subject lines, because it amuses me, and as possible fodder for stories. So what say we make smutty prompts out of them! If you want to play along, pick a smutty spam prompt and comment with a little smutty something-something based on it, any fandom, any pairing, any anything you want. Fun, no???



Underestimated the holy men
Water condemn
Anyway, kid gloves
The changing threat
Digital age John
Words above
Commodore's contemporary recurrence
Withstood twenty
Bric-a-brac childbearing
Hip hop other
Tell me, good or no
Americans 9
Exploitation and pillage
Today as last refuge of all the crimes
New generation viola
Cubicle a priesthood forms a mellow gong
Pumpernickel contour
Forgetting that it was pale continuous
Pepper braces
Better future, wool combing
Inopportune unleaded
Your future, mid-air
Part of speech
Concentrate mood
Your future, panther lily
Spiritual intrepid
Propulsion
Crisis fluidity
Itchy fiddler
Merely snug
Better success, yellow-bottomed
Parachute overalls
Better life, wild aimed
Your money, opera flannel
Tremendous discordant
Seurat popular
Theoretical undercut
Fork infectious
Success, wing petal
Poetic paleontologist
Absurd oxygen
Armored fury
King of this house
From me with hope
Rides each family member



Or feel free to write smutty spam prompts of your own finding or to suggest more in the comments. Come entertain me, peoples!!

Comments

[linaerys.livejournal.com]

I can't actually write, like, PROSE right now, but I'm very amused by "Digital Age John."

I picture John Sheppard getting a Blackberry and thinking it's the coolest thing ever, and Rodney's all, but John, we have Ancient communication devices and you're all excited about a Blackberry? And John will email Rodney slightly dirty, but mostly just dorky things from it, and Rodney will get the emails while he's trying to yell at the science team and it will totally derail his rants, and then John sneaks a Blackberry into Rodney's front pocket, sets it to vibrate and sends him a high-priority email during a staff meeting, and Rodney gets kind of annoyed but also kind of turned on because it's vibrating right THERE, and then they have sex after the staff meeting.

That's what I picture.

Man, I'm bored.

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

"Digital age John" was one of my favorites!! It made me laugh and laugh. And this is perfect! I draw sparkly hearts all around John Sheppard and his unrepentant dorkiness. :)

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Oh, I forgot to say re: boredom. I'm watching Nancy Grace. I think that sums it all up! *g*

[linaerys.livejournal.com]

That's really really unfortunate. She might hurt your brain *g*

I was thinking of doing a poll for boxofwrong about what kind of challenge/fic-a-thon people want . . . if you have questions you want to add, let me know and I'll put it together.

[barely-bean.livejournal.com]

Oh dude, Lenore! I'm worried for you. How sick are you?

[anatsuno.livejournal.com]

you rock. :-)

[hyperfocused.livejournal.com]

You know, I was totally going to do a spam subject series. I did do one, Date Single Millionaires in your Area (http://hyperfocused.livejournal.com/48664.html) for The O.C.

Ponders another... "Your money, opera flannel" sounds Clark/Lexish.

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

LOL I'm happy to read I'm not the only one seeing the slashability of spam. *grin*

I've tried to write a commentfic for you, but it came out 6 and half thousand words (and all in one sentence, natch!) 'cause I can never write anything short, so I decided to traumatize my f-list with it.

In the meantime my inbox presented me with the wonderful "He is cacophony" themed spam, which not only offers cheap drugs but also makes me flash back to cicadas and Mary Simpleton and Brian and Mouse and a crossover from doom waiting to happen.

But I've already pounced on Satisfy your partner, be a real man twnees (http://debris-k.livejournal.com/6209.html#cutid1) before it showed up, so there you go. Readers extreme caution advised for lack of any coherency whatsoever.

[yavannauk.livejournal.com]

Prompt - withstood twenty
Fandom - SGA, my choice of pairing given at the end, but I can think of others that would probably work just as well.

He's breathing hard, face pressed into the pillow. The cover is damp where he's used it to muffle the moans and cries that keep wanting to escape him. He isn't supposed to make a sound. He won't. It's not easy, though. He's already withstood twenty sharp swats to his naked ass and the bare skin burns as capable fingers slowly trace across it, caressing.

He knows another slap will follow soon; he's learned the pattern now. He can't keep from tensing in readiness, but it's all for nothing. Instead, the treacherous hand slides across his hip and underneath him. It curls around his aching cock and jerks it, once, twice, until he can't help relaxing into the pressure he needs so much. And that's when the hand he'd forgotten about comes down across his raised ass again, skin that was already stinging burning anew.

He gasps into the pillow while his back arches instinctively, forcing his swollen cock into the tight grip surrounding it, hot and perfect. He's so close, but he's been pulled back from the edge too many times already to trust that he'll be allowed to come now. Another slap cuts through his momentary distraction, bringing his focus back to the sensations radiating from his ass. Nevertheless, his hips jerk again and then the promise of release skitters along his nerves as clever fingers continue to work his cock, thumb sliding over the head.

He's expecting the other hand to land on his ass once more, but he's caught unawares when a warm, wet tongue licks a stripe across the abused skin instead. It continues to draw slow patterns until he's shaking so much he's afraid he'll fly apart. When the tongue's tip insinuates itself between his cheeks he's finally undone, coming hard and yelling his pleasure into the pillow.

When the fingers stop stroking his softening cock and withdraw he lets himself collapse flat on the mattress, every muscle in his body quivering. He's half aware of the frantic sound of skin on skin behind him, but he only really takes notice when he feels the warm pulses of come hit his thoroughly spanked ass. A moment or two more and a warm, heavy weight sprawls across his back, pressing him into the bed.

There's a huff of breath against his neck, then the careful touch of lips, and he turns his head a little to allow more. His ass still stings and John knows he's going to have to avoid sitting for a while, but he's feeling too relaxed and content to care. Sometimes, Rodney really does have the best ideas.

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Oooooh spanking! *goes a little red in the face* It's possible that I might have a bit of a kink for that. *coughs*

I love John taking it like a good solider! :)

[yavannauk.livejournal.com]

Totally not what I would usually write, but that prompt just jumped out at me! Glad you enjoyed it. *g*

[geeklite.livejournal.com]

Oh yay! *loves*

[yavannauk.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I quite like 'your future, mid-air' shocking I know. I believe somebody owes somebody some Petrelli fic, also, I've come into some rather abrupt free time this week, so I may actually write *you* something, by HAND. And then like transcribe it next week. Does the lady have any requests?

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Eeeeeeee! Yays! "Your future, mid-air" is indeed a fine, fine prompt. I don't think I have any special requests. I'm just very excited that you're writing it!!

(Also, I do owe you a story. *hangs head* I'd hit some kind of Petrelli wall there for a while, but the ideas have started to flow again. I really missed them!)

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about the Petrelli wall. Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed I completely shutdown, sometimes they're so just *them* that I'm like, there's nothing I can do that they haven't already done. And then I talk to people like slodwick who's all write college!Nathan and instead I think of amnesia!fic. Also, I have this quote that's been sitting on my fridge for EVER and I keep thinking, I should write that for them:

A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition -- Clare Whiting. I think an oft aborted first kiss might fit there nicely.

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

*nods* Yes, that is how I feel. Like...they don't really need me. They doing fine all by themselves being obsessed with each other.

But yay for you being all inspired! I love ALL those ideas. That quote is just perfect for them!

[hackthis.livejournal.com]

But they *do* need you. You are Lenore. You write brilliant stories and stupidly hot pron. How could they not need you? It's like saying we don't need air! Won't you think of Nathan's hard abs? And Peter's emo hair and entirely too pink mouth. And the pron! Think of the pron.

[pepperjackcandy.livejournal.com]

Can't wait to see someone tackle Better Future, Wool Combing!

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Hee! That's a classic, if ever there was one. :)

[lizzie451.livejournal.com]

somehow that just screams 'Firefly/Serenity' to me. Something about one of Mal's plans, and Jayne having to comb wool. And River dancing. (oooh, no pun intended *there*) And somehow, Mal and Simon end up in the barn's loft hiding out. With Kaylee, Inara and Zoe back on board the boat. Who knows what they'll get up to in their boredom.

[lizzie451.livejournal.com]

It's not porny, but I have an SPN scene-let with the Itchy Fiddler over at my LJ. If I can make it porny, I'll re-post it over here. :)

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

You should totally link or repost it over here. I'm not actually a stickler about the smut. :)

"Itchy Fiddler" SPN Teen-rated. No pairing (no porn either)

[lizzie451.livejournal.com]

“Tell me. Have you ever seen anything like that, Dean?”

“It’s not in Dad’s book, that’s for sure, Sammy.”

Sam looked at Dean.

“So, you wanna?”

“Yeah, lets do this.”

Within moments they had the fidgety musician down, and the stygian fiddle away from him. Sammy held the fiddler down with his long limbs, while Dean salted and burned the cursed object as quickly as he could. Once the bulk of the fiddle burned into ashes, the old man calmed down enough for Sammy to let him go.

“It was worth it, you know.” The old man said conversationally, his eyes misting in the pale moonlight.

“Shredding your skin was worth it?” Sammy’s eyes widened as the old man rubbing his arm absently pushed up a sleeve.

“The itching was bad, but the music.” He stared off into the distance once more.

“Right. Can we give you a ride back into town?” Dean interrupted the fiddler’s trance.

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

[ifylla.livejournal.com]

prompt: Forgetting that it was pale continuous
Setting/pairing: SGA, McShep
~~~~

Forgetting that it was pale continuous, like clouds in Atlantean waters reflected, John is shocked a little at the whiteness of Rodney's skin. He runs his lips over Rodney's chest, his arms, his neck (arched like a swan, like a Stargate). He tastes each and every area the sun has never graced.

John is all bronze and surfboy chic, and Rodney is a treat to him, a marble statue (though a little less muscle and perfection) that he can run his hands over late at night when all of Atlantis sleeps.

Rodney makes contented little disjointed humming noises and glows like a ZPM, eyes tightly closed, concentrating. John takes his time.

He explores, charts the geography of Rodney's parchment pale skin with his tongue and fingertips. He crosses lines and sets up encampments, reinforces boundaries and mouthes made-up names against Rodney's hipbones.

He knows the day will come when he has plotted and charted all of Rodney like a pirate map. He waits, patiently, for the dotted line, the X, marking the spot where he will lay a foundation.

Where he will find the buried treasure.

Where he will finally be Home.