scribblinlenore: (SGA: Rodney Disco Action)
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Title: This Is Not A Death Wish
Pairing: John/Rodney
Rating: G
Summary: More Bric-a-Brac Kid 'verse. A companion piece to Bric-a-Brac Childbearing , The Alien Priestess Is Always The First To Know, and Pregnancy-Related Weirdness. Rodney's latest craving has John worried.

Note: This is for [livejournal.com profile] shadowserenity who suggested the idea.




This Is Not A Death Wish
by Lenore

The first time it happens, John doesn't think too much about it. They're going through the food line at lunch, and Rodney makes a beeline for pie, only it's lemon meringue, in the special quarantine area for citrus that Rodney himself insisted on, and John reaches out and catches him by the belt loops. "There's chocolate cake here."

If Rodney casts a reluctant glance backward, John figures that's simply a testament to love of pie being right up there with loathing of citrus in The World According to Rodney McKay.

The next time, John assumes that Rodney is just being his usual lab Nazi self. He stops by ostensibly to get Rodney's input on the new energy conversation plan, really just to check on him, and finds Rodney looming beside one of the scientists, Dr. Mallory, fresh from Earth, brought to Atlantis on the latest run of the Daedalus, a freckle-faced young woman, who reminds John a little alarmingly of a female Opie Taylor. Rodney is crowded uncomfortably close to her, eyeing the open bag of lime Jolly Ranchers at her elbow.

"Can I help you with something, Dr. McKay?" she squeaks.

Rodney doesn't answer, just stares more pointedly at the candy, and John rolls his eyes and goes to poor, nerve-wracked Dr. Mallory's rescue. "You got a minute?"

Rodney glares. "What is it? Can't you see I'm busy?"

John steers him over to a private corner. "I know how you enjoy terrorizing the new scientists, but you could just tell her you don't allow eating in the lab."

"Um--" Rodney looks startled for a moment, and then squares his shoulders. "Yes, but where's the fun in that? Now, what did you want?"

It's not until the time after this that John stops to think that maybe, possibly, Rodney has developed something of a death wish, a conclusion he feels is only logical when he finds Rodney secreted away in his quarters with a bottle of lemon-scented cleanser that he's sniffing as enthusiastically as a teenager with a glue addiction.

"What the--" John strides across the room and takes it away from him.

"Hey!" Rodney's cheeks flush bright red. "That's mine."

"You complain if you catch even a ghost of a hint of a whiff of this stuff secondhand! What was the subject line of that memo you wrote about it? 'When cleanliness is next to deadliness'?"

Rodney reaches out with grabby hands. "Yes, well, that was then. This is now."

John puts the bottle as far away from Rodney as possible and sits down next to him. "If there's something wrong-- If you're--" He swallows hard. "Having second thoughts about the baby, we can--"

"Oh for-- I'm not trying to off myself! And if I were, suicide by lemon is, oh, let me think, yes, the last way I'd choose to do it. I just--" He ducks his head and mumbles, "It smells good."

John is still trying to wrap his mind around this when Rodney's head snaps up and his eyes light on John, big and way too bright with excitement, a look John has reasonably learned to fear. "Hey, maybe you could drink some orange juice, and I could--" He leans in, sniffing John's breath.

"No!" John rears back. "Absolutely not. Isn't 'one molecule could kill me' your personal mantra?"

Rodney throws up his hands. "I exaggerate! Everyone knows that. Please. Couldn't you just--"

"No! I'm sorry you're having yet another freakish craving, but I'm not going to endanger my entire family just because--

Rodney sucks in his breath sharply, and John tenses all over, "are you all right, should I call Carson?" already forming on lips, but then Rodney looks at him in wonder. "You think of us as your--- But we don't even know--"

John's shoulders drop, he's so relieved he's practically light-headed. "It's your kid, Rodney. That's good enough for me."

Rodney blinks very hard, his eyes suspiciously bright, and later, John knows, he'll claim it was just a manly stray eyelash, and John will nod and say, "It happens to the best of us." Right now, though, he puts his arm around Rodney and lays a string of kisses to the top of his head, and thinks that, as long as he can keep Rodney out of the Lemon Pledge, he really couldn't ask for more than this.

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Date: 2007-03-26 06:10 pm (UTC)
ext_1720: two kittens with a heart between them (Default)
From: [identity profile] ladycat777.livejournal.com
but I'm not going to endanger my entire family just because

SO MUCH WIN.

This whole series is just delightful. Mpreg without the bad!fic, and John who's slowly doing the husband/parter/father thing that makes me just melt, and hot and sweet and hysterical by turns --

Really. Made of win :)

Date: 2007-03-26 08:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Awwww, yay! I'm so glad you're liking this, doll, and don't just, you know, think I'm crazy. :)

Date: 2007-03-26 06:17 pm (UTC)
ext_230: a tiny green frog on a very red leaf (Default)
From: [identity profile] anatsuno.livejournal.com
and damn, i can't ask for more than this either-- i shouldn't rather, but dammit, you make me want to roll on the floor asking for more anyway! so, so good.

Date: 2007-03-26 08:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Okay, so rolling around on the flooring asking for more...I just got this picture of John and Rodney and they're...um, *coughs*, never mind. *g*

I'm so glad you're enjoying these stories!

Date: 2007-03-26 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lovelokest.livejournal.com
Eee! :D *flails happily*

Date: 2007-03-26 08:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Awwww, yay! :)

Date: 2007-03-26 06:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mirabile-dictu.livejournal.com
Awwwwwwwwwwww. This series is just killing me, and in the good way. Lovely, lovely stuff! Thank you!

Date: 2007-03-26 08:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
This makes me happy! Thank you!

Date: 2007-03-26 06:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shara50.livejournal.com
Awww!! This was just made of awesome.

Date: 2007-03-26 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I really might enjoy writing pregnant Rodney more than is good for me. :)

Date: 2007-03-26 06:24 pm (UTC)
ext_7408: (Default)
From: [identity profile] yavannauk.livejournal.com
Oh, oh... Awwwww...

Date: 2007-03-26 08:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Yay!!!! Glad you enjoyed it, doll. :)

Date: 2007-03-26 06:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bakarti.livejournal.com
as long as he can keep Rodney out of the Lemon Pledge, he really couldn't ask for more than this.

That's got to be one of the best last lines, ever!

*loves*

Date: 2007-03-26 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Hee. That line was inspired by the time a friend of a friend was at a get-together at my house and kept asking "what smells so good" and I was all confused and finally figured out it was the Lemon Pledge that I had used to dust right before people came over.

Date: 2007-03-26 06:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mecurtin.livejournal.com
Thing is, it's quite possible Rodney *could* have citrus now -- pregnancy is an immunosuppressant (because it's a foreign-tissue-in-the-body situation, kind of like an organ transplant). But I sure don't blame John for not wanting to risk it -- and then there's a snap-back effect after the birth, when the immune system revs up again and it's easy to pick up new allergies, which is how I became allergic to cats.

I love Rodney's grabby hands. *grabs*

Date: 2007-03-26 08:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Yes, yes, I definitely see John as being more cautious than reckless in this particular case. *g*

Date: 2007-03-26 06:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mmmchelle.livejournal.com
Normally MPREG is one of my least favorite things. But I've been reading these anyway, and they're totally making me smile. John and Rodney are acting like themselves, and there is humor and kindness. It's all very happy-making.

Date: 2007-03-26 08:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Awwww, yay! I'm glad you enjoyed them even though mpreg isn't really your thing. I honestly don't know why it's *my* thing. It just...kind of is. *g*

Date: 2007-03-26 06:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quinnponders.livejournal.com
The truly hilarious thing is I'm supposed to be dusting but decided to chuck responsibility and check LJ! I'm glad I did because this is adorable but I also have even more guilt now that the lemon pledge is eyeing me suspiciously.

Date: 2007-03-26 09:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
LOL!!! The Lemon Pledge will get you every time!

Date: 2007-03-26 06:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emrinalexander.livejournal.com
God, this just keep sgetting better and better and better and it was great to begin with!

You need an icon of a can of Lemon Pledge with one of those circle line things through it, like the "no parking" or "no u turn" signs *G*.

Date: 2007-03-26 09:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Hee! I really do need an icon like that, Em. Poor Rodney! The things I do to him.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] goss.livejournal.com - Date: 2007-03-26 09:25 pm (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com - Date: 2007-03-26 09:56 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2007-03-26 06:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ashinae.livejournal.com
*flails* OK. I really don't like MPREG. Not. My. Thing. It just makes me flail in a bad way and run away. But but but I really, really like this series. It's killing me. It's sweet and cute and hysterical and it makes me go *flail* -- in a good way. ♥

Date: 2007-03-26 09:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Awwwww! This gives me SUCH a happy smile. Thanks so much reading, even though mpreg isn't your thing. I'm so glad you're liking the series!

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] ashinae.livejournal.com - Date: 2007-03-26 09:25 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2007-03-26 06:51 pm (UTC)
amalthia: (Default)
From: [personal profile] amalthia
I had a blast reading this. :)

Date: 2007-03-26 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Awww, yay! I'm, honestly, having WAY too much fun writing these stories. :)

Date: 2007-03-26 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tikiberry.livejournal.com
Rodney, you gotta be strong! John you gotta watch him like a hawk! The lure of Lemon Pledge... *g*

Also, you wrote more! Wheee!

Date: 2007-03-26 09:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Dude. Lemon Pledge alters the receptors in your brain and then you're totally hooked and...oh, wait. That's crack. *shifty eyes* Never mind!

Date: 2007-03-26 07:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ntamara.livejournal.com
oh, hilarious and absolutley perfect lastline

What was the subject line of that memo you wrote about it? 'When cleanliness is next to deadliness'?"

*grins*

so very much enjoying this little series, and most definitely looking forward to more

thanks for sharing!

Date: 2007-03-26 09:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm glad you're having fun with this! I just find mpreg so amusing to write and especially when it's Rodney. Hee.

Date: 2007-03-26 07:08 pm (UTC)
ext_3270: Animated LiveJournal Because... (Default)
From: [identity profile] sorchasilver.livejournal.com
This is such a sweet mpreg series.

And Right now, though, he puts his arm around Rodney and lays a string of kisses to the top of his head, and thinks that, as long as he can keep Rodney out of the Lemon Pledge, he really couldn't ask for more than this. is the most perfect last line I've read in ages. So much win!

Thanks for sharing.

Date: 2007-03-26 09:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Awwww, thank you! I'm so glad you're liking these stories! It's been much fun to write.

Date: 2007-03-26 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catmoran.livejournal.com
I have so much love for this.

Date: 2007-03-26 09:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked this, doll! I can't tell you how pleased I am to see that there are so many mpreg lovers in the world. :)

Date: 2007-03-26 07:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] niangao.livejournal.com
Family! *melts*

Though, first coffee and now deadly citrus? The gods of pregnancy are indeed especially vindictive towards Rodney :P

Date: 2007-03-26 09:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
The gods of pregnancy are indeed especially vindictive towards Rodney

I totally blame the Ancients for it! I'm not entirely sure how they're responsible, but I blame them nonetheless!! *g*

Date: 2007-03-26 07:20 pm (UTC)
ext_1798: (Default)
From: [identity profile] wildestranger.livejournal.com
Of course that would be the weird craving Rodney would have. And I love how well trained John has become about citrus. Lovely story. :)

Date: 2007-03-26 08:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] librarianstales.livejournal.com
LOL Love the icon!

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com - Date: 2007-03-26 09:43 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2007-03-26 07:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] purelyironic.livejournal.com
OMG, this is so fantastic!

Date: 2007-03-26 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Yay, I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)

Date: 2007-03-26 07:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] forcryinoutloud.livejournal.com
God, this is just so adorably awesome. *g* I'm loving this series way too much. ;)

Date: 2007-03-26 09:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you're enjoying the stories! Honestly? I'm having way too much fun writing them. *g*

Date: 2007-03-26 07:56 pm (UTC)
ext_8875: (Default)
From: [identity profile] emyrys.livejournal.com
This is so sweet!! *wearing big big smile*

Date: 2007-03-26 09:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad it made you smile! :)

Date: 2007-03-26 07:59 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shoequeeny.livejournal.com
Ah, this is fantastic and just...lemon pledge? way too fantastic! Poor Rodney, only he would seek out the lemon pledge.

Date: 2007-03-26 09:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Hee. Rodney is definitely one of a kind.

I'm so glad you liked the story! :)

Date: 2007-03-26 08:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azilver.livejournal.com
SQUEEEEEEE!
so cute and funny and sweet
rodney sure has shep so well trained, don't he?
shep's such a dork, so totally head over heels for rodney
^_^
aza
ps. loves ya icon!

Date: 2007-03-26 09:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked this! And hee. Yes, after mentioning his citrus allergy about, oh, 100 million times, Rodney has John ready to shoot any renegade lemons with his P90.

Re: icon love. Right back at ya! That is SO funny.

Date: 2007-03-26 08:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] trebmal.livejournal.com
sweet! :D I love this storyline ^_^

I also love your, [livejournal.com profile] emrinalexander's and [livejournal.com profile] wildestranger's userpics :P

Date: 2007-03-26 09:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm glad you like this! And hee. This story has brought all kinds of fun icons. :)
Page 1 of 4 << [1] [2] [3] [4] >>

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