Oh, spam! How you entertain me.

[scribblinlenore]

So I found some spam in my inbox this morning with this subject line:

Even an ant is bigger than your penis?

*laughs, cries* I have this image in my head of Team Sheppard getting caught in the crossfire of a civil war on some planet. The guys get hit by this funky purple beam weapon thingy. Only it doesn't do anything. Or at least they think it doesn't do anything. When they get back to Atlantis and go to the locker room to get cleaned up, they discover that things (in their pants!) aren't quite the way they were when they headed out for the mission. Apparently, the people on this planet use an "undermine your enemy's self-esteem" strategy. Eventually Keller figures out how to reverse it, but not before Rodney spends much time loudly opining the loss of his, thank you very much, prodigious endowment, Sheppard threatens to shoot Rodney if he doesn't keep his voice down (he really prefers his size problem to be his own little secret, thank you very much), and Ronon shrugs and says at least it still feels good when he jacks off.

Oh, it's so mean! It makes me laugh so! *bg*

ETA: So it's been the day for penis-oriented spam. I got another one with this subject line:
Blue whale's penis is 3 meters because he tried Penis Enlarge Patch

Now, I'm thinking that whatever Keller does to fix the problem overshoots the mark. Rodney is all excited, because, hey, his penis is back and better than ever, only to have his excitement cooled a bit when John balks at letting Rodney fuck him, something he's usually all too eager for, because as John puts, he would like to be able to sit down again at some point in the future. Hee!

Comments

I just got the following spam:

[slodwick.livejournal.com]

‎Trust our wonder-medicine and your penis will surprise you

I think it could work nicely with your story.

Re: I just got the following spam:

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Hee! Perfect. Because when your penis is smaller than an ant, you really, really need the wonder-medicine in the worst possible way.

[in-the-bottle.livejournal.com]

*dies*

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Spam is a never ending source of hilarity, really. *g*

Bwhahahahah

[scottish-neko.livejournal.com]

My keyboard may never recover from the spit take.

Thanks you, I so needed the laugh this morning.

You are a god.

~Psilence

Re: Bwhahahahah

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

I'm glad it made you laugh! Sometimes, spam is just too good to me, you know? *g*

[amberlynne.livejournal.com]

John and I are *facepalming* at you. ;)

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Hee! I can totally see why. My only defense is: the spam made me do it!

[liamar13.livejournal.com]

what have you been smoking? damn you woman i laughed so hard i couldnt breath. and i need to breath or ill die. so you see i laughed so hard i almost DIED! seriously!

p.s. how about this one from my junk mail folder: Men think with a penis - the bigger penis, the smarter man. (gives me ideas about rodney....*runs away*)

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

LOL! You know, it's my own personal fanon that Rodney has a really big cock. And it would be really funny if he thought having a big dick went with having a big brain. So when he gets hit by the penis-shrinking ray, he has this psychosomatic reaction where he believes he's been stricken with stupidity. Awww, poor Rodney! *pets him*

[anitac588.livejournal.com]

Hahahaa - the best spam induced image!!! :-)

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Spam is SO good to me, Anita! *g*

[shhbabe.livejournal.com]

*LOL* I ♥ your mental Ronon.

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

I really think Ronon is a go-with-the-flow kind of guy. *g*

[mecurtin.livejournal.com]

Write it! writeitwriteitwriteit!! I'll beta, dance for you, everything!!!!

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Hee! If I finish my yuletide story ahead of schedule, maybe I will write it. The idea of Rodney loudly proclaiming about his wee little peepee for all the mess hall to hear makes me laugh SO MUCH.

[feather_qwill]

Makes me think of Ed's freakouts in Fullmetal Alchemist . . .

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Sadly, I'm not familiar. But it sounds like I would very much enjoy it! *g*

[anatsuno.livejournal.com]

*approves!*

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Hee!

[omglawdork.livejournal.com]

Dude, your brain is awesome. Of course Rodney wouldn't be able to shut up about it, even though it makes him look really bad. Oh, boys. That's so funny.

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Rodney's inability to keep even the most embarrassing parts of his life to himself is the stuff laughter is made of. I love him so!

[omglawdork.livejournal.com]

Oh, I know! It's one of his most endearing qualities! I finally got to watch "Reunion" the other day (was on vacation at airtime), and I loved how he was telling the Wraith some childhood story - like they care. He's a doodle.

[tardis80.livejournal.com]

AHAHAHA. QUESTION: Do they attempt to have sex with their ant!penises?

"Stick it in me already!"
"... It is in."
"Oh."

On the other hand, it might make blowjobs easier. (and also REALLY WEIRD)

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's so sad! (Not to mention hilarious!) The anal sex and the blowjob both. Maybe John decides that restraint is called for, and they abstain from sex during the ant!penis debacle and make up for it later once everything (in their pants!) is back to normal.

[astrothsknot.livejournal.com]

All I get is spam for septic tanks and Nigerians wanting my money

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Awwww, that's too bad! (I can't believe I'm typing that about someone not getting spam.) The penis enlargement stuff is quite a hoot.

[miso-no-tsuki.livejournal.com]

*flails helplessly*
*needs tissue*
Oh God.

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

I'm way too mean to those boys! *bg*

[aurora]

Ahahaha, you got a hold on the good crack. :))

and Ronon shrugs and says at least it still feels good when he jacks off.
:D:D:D

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Ronon knows how to adapt! *g*