SGA Lifetime Holiday Movies!
Dec. 6th, 2007 01:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scribblinlenoreThat's how I've been amusing myself today. Reimagineering my favorite sappy made-for-TV holiday sap fests with John and Rodney. Oh, the cheer! Oh how I got carried away! *g*
Here's the first synopsis:
The Christmas List
(this is the one with Mimi Rogers)
Since the unsuccessful rescue attempt in Afghanistan ended his Air Force career, John's life has become pretty ho-hum. He works behind the perfume counter at the local department store, dodging come-ons from male and female costumers who see him as just another pretty face and a nice piece of ass, getting passed over for promotions, even though he has an uncanny knack for helping people find the perfect fragrance.
The mall has a big box for kids to leave their Christmas lists for Santa, and to amuse himself one day at lunch, John writes out his own wishes. A Johnny Cash poster. Some black T-shirts. A new car. Someone who loves him for himself. A sense of purpose. He thinks no more about it until he starts receiving the things on his list. He gets a free promotional poster of the man in black at the mall's record store. His neighbor went crazy at the Gap's 80% off sale and gives John the stack of black T-shirts that he bought but doesn't need.
Then one day a man comes to his perfume counter.
"I need to get a present, and I have," the man checks his watch, "at most thirty-five seconds to shop. What have you got?" The man is frazzle haired and a little wild-eyed, and he adds almost like an afterthought, "It's for my girlfriend."
"She's mad at him again," pipes up the little girl he has in tow.
"She is not!" The man glares at the girl.
John is trying hard not to grin. "So what's your girlfriend like?"
"Roberta," the man supplies her name. "She's-- blond and blue-eyed, very smart, although not quite at my level, but then who is?" He flouders around for some other detail to add. "She's-- tall. And some people find her rather-- forceful."
The little girl leans in, her voice taking on a confidential tone. "That's a nice way of saying she's a shrew."
"Madison!"
She shrugs. "You know it's true, Uncle Rodney."
"I think I have just the thing." John picks out a tall amber-colored bottle and sprays a test square, holds it out to Rodney.
He sniffs and blinks, his expression rather amazed. "That's-- her. How did you do that?"
John shrugs and smiles, a real smile, not his perfume salesman impersonation of one. "Call it a knack."
"Well-- thank you."
Rodney pays, and Madison waves goodbye, and for the rest of the day, whenever his customers get tacky and inappropriate with him, John thinks about Rodney, how Rodney treated him like an actual person. It cheers him up, even when a jowly, red-faced man in his fifties suggests it would be easier for him to decide on a perfume for his wife if John used the tester on himself and the man could sniff his neck.
The next day John is eating his lunch out in the mall by the Santa display when he runs into Madison.
He frowns with concern. "Are you by yourself?"
She shakes her head. "Uncle Rodney's in Macy's, looking for something for Mom and Dad. He sent me out here to wait 'cause I was getting annoying." She grins.
John grins back and shares his sandwich with her, and Madison gets all excited when she sees a raffle for a new car. The only problem is: You have to be 18 to enter.
"Could you enter for me? You should see what Uncle Rodney's driving, and he won't get an new one until it dies. He can be kind of cheap sometimes."
John can't resist her "oh please, oh please" expression and fills out the entry slip, just getting it into the box before it's time for the drawing.
Madison is bouncing on her toes, and John is smiling, and the car dealership guy reaches into the box and...announces John's name!
Madison goes crazy, jumping up and down, shouting, "We won! We won!"
The car dealership guy hands John the keys, and everyone gathers around to congratulate him, and it's all very happy until John's boss comes storming over. "Sheppard! Mall employees aren't eligible to win prizes. You know that. What do you think you're doing? Ruining the fun for the customers."
John tries to explain, but the boss is a jerk and won't let him get a word in. He just keeps on chewing John out, and Madison runs to get Rodney. She explains what happened to him, and Rodney comes to the rescue.
"If you'd stop your moronic ranting for even a moment, John would have explained that he was simply doing a favor for my niece, who wanted to win the car for me. My ten-year-old niece. Or does this mall not actually care about making the Christmas wishes of children come true?"
He taps his foot impatiently, waiting for an answer, and the jerky boss hems and haws and stutters, "Of course-- children are-- precious."
Rodney rolls his eyes, and then a reporter and photographer materialize. "What a great story!"
The boss puts on a fake smile. "Our employees always put our customers first."
After the hubbub dies down, John tries to hand over the keys to Rodney, but Rodney refuses, "I just said that to get your boss off your back. You should keep the car."
"We won it for you," John insists.
"You should share it," Madison interjects, smiling sweetly.
John and Rodney exchange glances, feeling each other out, and then they both nod. It's a plan.
Sharing the car soon turns into spending time together. They go out for dinner, and Rodney talks about his work, and John asks insightful questions. Rodney stares. "You know something about physics."
John grins. "Yeah, it's kind of a requirement if you're going to fly helicopters."
Rodney stares some more. John fills him in on his aeronautical engineering degree, his career in the Air Force, and its abrupt end.
"They kicked you out for trying to save someone? That was remarkably stupid, even for the military."
John shrugs. "Orders are orders, and I disobeyed them."
"I wondered how you ended up selling perfume when it would be clear to a blind person you're capable of so much more."
Rodney is watching John in this intense way, like he can really see him, and realization plows into John, that he's falling for Rodney.
The next time they trade off the car, Rodney invites John over to his place. He wants to cook for him. When John arrives, there's the delicious smell of spaghetti sauce coming from the kitchen. "It's my specialty," Rodney tells him, opening up a bottle of wine.
They eat dinner and afterwards move to the sofa for coffee and dessert. It's warm and cozy and John can't remember the last time he was this happy. Without even thinking about it, he leans in and kisses Rodney. He's about to start freaking out, because what if Rodney's straight or doesn't want him? But then Rodney moans, "Oh, thank God." And puts his hands on John's face and kisses and kisses and kisses him.
They go to bed together, and it's been way too long since John was with somebody he wants this much. He's really starting to believe that his list is coming to life.
He wakes up in the middle of the night and goes to get some water in the kitchen and wanders around the living room, looking at the books and bric-a-brac on the shelves, enjoying the feel of Rodney's presence. There's a curious crystal object, and he picks it up, and it sparks to life, glowing bright blue in his hand.
Rodney happens to come shuffling out of the bedroom just then, yawning. "You okay?"
"I'm sorry!" John tells him. "I didn't mean to--"
"Oh my God!" Rodney's eyes go wide with wonder.
"How do I make it--"
"Just think 'off' at it."
John does, and it powers down, once more just a pretty crystal snowball.
Rodney lays his hand against John's cheek, his voice reverent, "Do you have any idea how special you are?"
"What just happened?"
Rodney looks torn. "I can't tell you. Yet! But I will. I just have to-- clear it with some people. I'm working on something really important, and you could be the key. It could give you a whole new--"
"Sense of purpose," John says softly.
Rodney smiles and kisses him. Everything looks like it's finally turning up for John.
Rodney has to go away on a business trip, to get that clearance to he mentioned to John so he can explain everything. John cheerfully goes about his job, knowing that his days at the perfume counter are numbered.
Then Dr. Roberta Mason shows up at the store.
She introduces herself and says, "I think we know someone in common. Dr. Rodney McKay?" She flashes a diamond ring on her finger. "My fiancé."
John stares.
She smiles, lowers her voice. "You didn't think it was anything more than a one-night stand, did you? A man in Rodney's position likes his fun, but he needs a wife and a home and a conventional life. Time for you to move on, wouldn't you say?"
John mopes around for days, ignoring Rodney's phone messages. He's been there before with the sneaking around and the booty calls in the middle of the night, and he doesn't want that with Rodney. He quits the perfume counter and lands a job flying commercial helicopters. Maybe he was silly to have believed in a magic Christmas list, but he can still put a sense of purpose into his own life.
Rodney returns to town and tracks him down at the heliport, red-faced and sputtering. "Why have you been ignoring my calls?"
John doesn't look up from the flight plan he's preparing. "I've been busy."
Rodney stares at him like he's crazy. "Do you not remember that I have something big and important I need to tell you?"
John throws down his pencil. "Too late! Your future wife came into the store. I know all about it."
Rodney's mouth falls open. "What? What future wife?" He feels John's forehead. "Are you delirious?"
John pushes his hand away. "If you just wanted a quick fuck, you could have told me that. I still would have slept with you."
"But I don't just want-- Seriously, I am not getting married. I don't know what you're talking about."
"I saw the ring! On the woman you bought the perfume for!"
Rodney's face takes on an oh, I get it now expression. "Remember when Madison said that Roberta is kind of a shrew? Well, it's possible that she's also delusional. I broke up with her after the second time we had dinner together. I figured that was the right thing to do since, you know, I was falling madly in love with you."
John blinks, and his throat feels tight. "Rodney, I--"
Rodney is cheerfully smug. "Love me, too. I figured, what with the big hissy fit. Now get over here and kiss me. I've really missed you a lot."
There's quite a lot of kissing in fact, and some hugging, and maybe even a little groping.
"Now, come on," Rodney says at last. "We need to go someplace private for what I have to tell you. And just so you know, I'm not delusional like Roberta. What I'm about to say is completely the truth."
They go back to Rodney's place, and he tells John a tale of aliens and other galaxies and a place called Atlantis.
"I can't say it won't be dangerous, but I'm really hoping--"
"When do we leave?' John asks.
It takes some doing with the paperwork and red tape, but finally John is reinstated into the military. They travel to Antarctica, and he sits in a chair, and the whole universe lights up before his eyes.
When they make it to the lost city of the Ancients at last, John is finally at home. He has someone who loves him very much, just for himself, and never again will he have to wish for a sense of purpose.
Here's the first synopsis:
The Christmas List
(this is the one with Mimi Rogers)
Since the unsuccessful rescue attempt in Afghanistan ended his Air Force career, John's life has become pretty ho-hum. He works behind the perfume counter at the local department store, dodging come-ons from male and female costumers who see him as just another pretty face and a nice piece of ass, getting passed over for promotions, even though he has an uncanny knack for helping people find the perfect fragrance.
The mall has a big box for kids to leave their Christmas lists for Santa, and to amuse himself one day at lunch, John writes out his own wishes. A Johnny Cash poster. Some black T-shirts. A new car. Someone who loves him for himself. A sense of purpose. He thinks no more about it until he starts receiving the things on his list. He gets a free promotional poster of the man in black at the mall's record store. His neighbor went crazy at the Gap's 80% off sale and gives John the stack of black T-shirts that he bought but doesn't need.
Then one day a man comes to his perfume counter.
"I need to get a present, and I have," the man checks his watch, "at most thirty-five seconds to shop. What have you got?" The man is frazzle haired and a little wild-eyed, and he adds almost like an afterthought, "It's for my girlfriend."
"She's mad at him again," pipes up the little girl he has in tow.
"She is not!" The man glares at the girl.
John is trying hard not to grin. "So what's your girlfriend like?"
"Roberta," the man supplies her name. "She's-- blond and blue-eyed, very smart, although not quite at my level, but then who is?" He flouders around for some other detail to add. "She's-- tall. And some people find her rather-- forceful."
The little girl leans in, her voice taking on a confidential tone. "That's a nice way of saying she's a shrew."
"Madison!"
She shrugs. "You know it's true, Uncle Rodney."
"I think I have just the thing." John picks out a tall amber-colored bottle and sprays a test square, holds it out to Rodney.
He sniffs and blinks, his expression rather amazed. "That's-- her. How did you do that?"
John shrugs and smiles, a real smile, not his perfume salesman impersonation of one. "Call it a knack."
"Well-- thank you."
Rodney pays, and Madison waves goodbye, and for the rest of the day, whenever his customers get tacky and inappropriate with him, John thinks about Rodney, how Rodney treated him like an actual person. It cheers him up, even when a jowly, red-faced man in his fifties suggests it would be easier for him to decide on a perfume for his wife if John used the tester on himself and the man could sniff his neck.
The next day John is eating his lunch out in the mall by the Santa display when he runs into Madison.
He frowns with concern. "Are you by yourself?"
She shakes her head. "Uncle Rodney's in Macy's, looking for something for Mom and Dad. He sent me out here to wait 'cause I was getting annoying." She grins.
John grins back and shares his sandwich with her, and Madison gets all excited when she sees a raffle for a new car. The only problem is: You have to be 18 to enter.
"Could you enter for me? You should see what Uncle Rodney's driving, and he won't get an new one until it dies. He can be kind of cheap sometimes."
John can't resist her "oh please, oh please" expression and fills out the entry slip, just getting it into the box before it's time for the drawing.
Madison is bouncing on her toes, and John is smiling, and the car dealership guy reaches into the box and...announces John's name!
Madison goes crazy, jumping up and down, shouting, "We won! We won!"
The car dealership guy hands John the keys, and everyone gathers around to congratulate him, and it's all very happy until John's boss comes storming over. "Sheppard! Mall employees aren't eligible to win prizes. You know that. What do you think you're doing? Ruining the fun for the customers."
John tries to explain, but the boss is a jerk and won't let him get a word in. He just keeps on chewing John out, and Madison runs to get Rodney. She explains what happened to him, and Rodney comes to the rescue.
"If you'd stop your moronic ranting for even a moment, John would have explained that he was simply doing a favor for my niece, who wanted to win the car for me. My ten-year-old niece. Or does this mall not actually care about making the Christmas wishes of children come true?"
He taps his foot impatiently, waiting for an answer, and the jerky boss hems and haws and stutters, "Of course-- children are-- precious."
Rodney rolls his eyes, and then a reporter and photographer materialize. "What a great story!"
The boss puts on a fake smile. "Our employees always put our customers first."
After the hubbub dies down, John tries to hand over the keys to Rodney, but Rodney refuses, "I just said that to get your boss off your back. You should keep the car."
"We won it for you," John insists.
"You should share it," Madison interjects, smiling sweetly.
John and Rodney exchange glances, feeling each other out, and then they both nod. It's a plan.
Sharing the car soon turns into spending time together. They go out for dinner, and Rodney talks about his work, and John asks insightful questions. Rodney stares. "You know something about physics."
John grins. "Yeah, it's kind of a requirement if you're going to fly helicopters."
Rodney stares some more. John fills him in on his aeronautical engineering degree, his career in the Air Force, and its abrupt end.
"They kicked you out for trying to save someone? That was remarkably stupid, even for the military."
John shrugs. "Orders are orders, and I disobeyed them."
"I wondered how you ended up selling perfume when it would be clear to a blind person you're capable of so much more."
Rodney is watching John in this intense way, like he can really see him, and realization plows into John, that he's falling for Rodney.
The next time they trade off the car, Rodney invites John over to his place. He wants to cook for him. When John arrives, there's the delicious smell of spaghetti sauce coming from the kitchen. "It's my specialty," Rodney tells him, opening up a bottle of wine.
They eat dinner and afterwards move to the sofa for coffee and dessert. It's warm and cozy and John can't remember the last time he was this happy. Without even thinking about it, he leans in and kisses Rodney. He's about to start freaking out, because what if Rodney's straight or doesn't want him? But then Rodney moans, "Oh, thank God." And puts his hands on John's face and kisses and kisses and kisses him.
They go to bed together, and it's been way too long since John was with somebody he wants this much. He's really starting to believe that his list is coming to life.
He wakes up in the middle of the night and goes to get some water in the kitchen and wanders around the living room, looking at the books and bric-a-brac on the shelves, enjoying the feel of Rodney's presence. There's a curious crystal object, and he picks it up, and it sparks to life, glowing bright blue in his hand.
Rodney happens to come shuffling out of the bedroom just then, yawning. "You okay?"
"I'm sorry!" John tells him. "I didn't mean to--"
"Oh my God!" Rodney's eyes go wide with wonder.
"How do I make it--"
"Just think 'off' at it."
John does, and it powers down, once more just a pretty crystal snowball.
Rodney lays his hand against John's cheek, his voice reverent, "Do you have any idea how special you are?"
"What just happened?"
Rodney looks torn. "I can't tell you. Yet! But I will. I just have to-- clear it with some people. I'm working on something really important, and you could be the key. It could give you a whole new--"
"Sense of purpose," John says softly.
Rodney smiles and kisses him. Everything looks like it's finally turning up for John.
Rodney has to go away on a business trip, to get that clearance to he mentioned to John so he can explain everything. John cheerfully goes about his job, knowing that his days at the perfume counter are numbered.
Then Dr. Roberta Mason shows up at the store.
She introduces herself and says, "I think we know someone in common. Dr. Rodney McKay?" She flashes a diamond ring on her finger. "My fiancé."
John stares.
She smiles, lowers her voice. "You didn't think it was anything more than a one-night stand, did you? A man in Rodney's position likes his fun, but he needs a wife and a home and a conventional life. Time for you to move on, wouldn't you say?"
John mopes around for days, ignoring Rodney's phone messages. He's been there before with the sneaking around and the booty calls in the middle of the night, and he doesn't want that with Rodney. He quits the perfume counter and lands a job flying commercial helicopters. Maybe he was silly to have believed in a magic Christmas list, but he can still put a sense of purpose into his own life.
Rodney returns to town and tracks him down at the heliport, red-faced and sputtering. "Why have you been ignoring my calls?"
John doesn't look up from the flight plan he's preparing. "I've been busy."
Rodney stares at him like he's crazy. "Do you not remember that I have something big and important I need to tell you?"
John throws down his pencil. "Too late! Your future wife came into the store. I know all about it."
Rodney's mouth falls open. "What? What future wife?" He feels John's forehead. "Are you delirious?"
John pushes his hand away. "If you just wanted a quick fuck, you could have told me that. I still would have slept with you."
"But I don't just want-- Seriously, I am not getting married. I don't know what you're talking about."
"I saw the ring! On the woman you bought the perfume for!"
Rodney's face takes on an oh, I get it now expression. "Remember when Madison said that Roberta is kind of a shrew? Well, it's possible that she's also delusional. I broke up with her after the second time we had dinner together. I figured that was the right thing to do since, you know, I was falling madly in love with you."
John blinks, and his throat feels tight. "Rodney, I--"
Rodney is cheerfully smug. "Love me, too. I figured, what with the big hissy fit. Now get over here and kiss me. I've really missed you a lot."
There's quite a lot of kissing in fact, and some hugging, and maybe even a little groping.
"Now, come on," Rodney says at last. "We need to go someplace private for what I have to tell you. And just so you know, I'm not delusional like Roberta. What I'm about to say is completely the truth."
They go back to Rodney's place, and he tells John a tale of aliens and other galaxies and a place called Atlantis.
"I can't say it won't be dangerous, but I'm really hoping--"
"When do we leave?' John asks.
It takes some doing with the paperwork and red tape, but finally John is reinstated into the military. They travel to Antarctica, and he sits in a chair, and the whole universe lights up before his eyes.
When they make it to the lost city of the Ancients at last, John is finally at home. He has someone who loves him very much, just for himself, and never again will he have to wish for a sense of purpose.
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Date: 2007-12-06 07:23 pm (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2007-12-08 12:28 am (UTC)