Porn Battle!

[scribblinlenore]

The lovely oxoniensis is hosting Porn Battle VII over at her LJ. I was perusing the prompts and was particularly intrigued/amused by the bandom crossover ones.

--Pete Wentz/Arthur Pendragon. Okay that's a total achievement in cracktastic genius! I keep trying to imagine it, and the picture threatens to blow out parts of my brain. I was rereading this great Pete-and-Patrick-have-fighting-sex story, I believe by longtime_lurker, and it has this fantastic bit about how Pete hooks up with these big, macho guys who think they're going to dominate the hell out of him, only to walk away from the encounter wondering how they got topped by this "tiny emo fag." If someone could take that angle on the Pete/Arthur porn? They would be my hero forever and ever and ever!

--Spencer Reid (of Criminal Minds) with anyone from bandom. Mmmm. Spencer Reid. I think he and Patrick would hit it off, and of course, Pete would be all hostile with jealousy, so he'd need to turn the tables, take back control, and eventually this would lead to a threesome. How, you ask? Blah, blah, logic!cakes, I say. This would be even better if it involved crime-solving. Because I always want my favorite pairs to solve crimes together. (Pete and Patrick investigate the case of the mysterious disappearing room service leftovers!) I'm imagining Pete and Patrick getting involved in some kind of crime, you know as witnesses or bystanders or whatever, and they want to help figure it out, or Pete does, and he drags Patrick along for the ride. And they keep getting in the way, and Spencer has to explain to them why this isn't such a good idea, and then they explain to Spencer why it's not such a good idea that he's wearing so many clothes. It's very tightly plotted, as I think you can see. *g*

Thinking about porn makes me happy. I know this comes as a shock to everyone.

Comments

[linaerys.livejournal.com]

Oh wow, I love that Pete/Arthur idea of yours. I hope someone does it!

[anitac588.livejournal.com]

Pete Wentz/Arthur Pendragon I have to ask now, do you watch Merlin?

[irishdf]

Ahahaha. I love the way you think. Spencer Reid is my *favourite* on "Criminal Minds" (totally pairing up with Morgan, but I could read about him on his own for days.) And the thought of him and Patrick blows my mind. And I do love a possessive Pete. This must come to pass. *g*

And I love Pete having this ability to just charm/dominate these guys who are twice his size. But only as a temporary measure, until he and Patrick get together. It's like they can each have all the sex with other people that they want, but only until they realize/admit their love for one another. Then it's OTP baby. Which makes me a total sap, I suppose. *g*

As my best friend and I say, God Bless the Internet. And porn helps to de-stress you know, so really we're doing it for our health. *nods wisely* Heh.

[ohfreckle.livejournal.com]

Pete Wentz/Arthur Pendragon just fried my brain. I desperately hope someone will do that!

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

I hope someone writes it, too! It would be so much fun. *fingers crossed*

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

I've seen the first 9 episodes of Merlin. I need to watch the rest. I like it, and it's definitely gay. But for whatever reason, I don't really feel that fannish about it. I don't know why!

Are you watching it?

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

I love Spencer Reid, too! He totally begs to be slashed and crossed over and all kinds of things. I think it would be cool if Spencer knew stuff about music, not what's going on now, but maybe about Motown, or technical stuff about music, or something, and he and Patrick totally geeked out together. And Pete would be jealous, and trying to get Patrick's attention back, and Patrick would be all: Pete, I'm trying to have a conversation here. And then that would call for drastic measures, as far as Pete is concerned. Drastic, naked measures.

So he'd turn all the Wentzian powers of charm and seduction on Spencer, who would be all blink-blink like a sweet, innocent deer caught in the dirty, dirty headlights. And Patrick would be all: I see you, Pete Wentz! I see what you're doing. And then Pete would start flirting with Patrick too, to make it clear that this is a two-for-one offer. And there would be blushing and embarrassment and stammered excuses about why they really shouldn't (even if they really wanted to), and Pete would just keep smiling seductively, and eventually everyone's clothes would magically fly off, and there would be hot, hot threesome sex.

I totally agree with you and your friend, by the way. God Bless the Internet!! *g*

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Right? Årthur would be all big and manly and regal, and Pete would be all tiny and bossy and dirty-minded. It's win-win for everyone!

[anitac588.livejournal.com]

Oh, yeah, I am watching and rewatching and rewatching it.
It's like -- I'll come home after a bad day of work and I'll put the 1.11 episode with UNICORN (hope I'm not spoiling you, but I'm guessing you already heard of that) and world is OK.
:-)

I was hooked from the moment Uther says to Merlin You'll be prince Arthur's manservant.
*manservant* Lenore. I had image of Merlin blowing Arthur in a split of a second.
There are pageboys and lords, I mean, I really, really like it.

But for whatever reason, I don't really feel that fannish about it. I don't know why! I'd say it's because Pete and Patrick are occupying your mind, eh? Followed by Jeter/Rodriguez? *g*

[scribblinlenore.livejournal.com]

Awww. It makes me happy to think of you being made happy by Merlin! I really do need to watch those last few episodes. I have heard all about them, and they do sound great.

You'd think I'd be better at fannish multi-tasking by now, but yeah, you're right. It is my shiny love for Pete/Patrick that makes it hard for me to get into Merlin/Arthur. When I have a bad day, I read some endearing little bandom boys story or watch some video of them being all adorable together, and it makes me feel better.