scribblinlenore: (Brothers by modernsecret)
[personal profile] scribblinlenore
Title: Paradise Where You Choose It
Fandom: Supernatural
Pairing: N/A
Rating: PG
Summary: Paradise is open to interpretation.

Notes: Thanks to [livejournal.com profile] catmoran, [livejournal.com profile] joyfulgirl41 and [livejournal.com profile] estrella30 for beta and audiencing. This is for [livejournal.com profile] slodwick's A Picture is Worth 1000 Words challenge.

***



Paradise Where You Choose It
By Lenore


1.

Sam tilts his head back, squints at the sky, watching the clouds through a sea of white umbrellas. The wind gusts Caribbean-warm off the water, a lazy caress on Sam's skin. He's never had a real vacation. Evil doesn't take a break, his father used to say. The beach is strangely deserted, no kids splashing in the waves, not even a sandcastle in sight. Next to Sam is an unoccupied lounge chair, a rumpled towel left behind as if someone just got up. They'll be back, Sam thinks languidly. He closes his eyes and realizes how tired he really is.


2.

When he opens his eyes again, Jessica is there, stretched out like a cat on the chaise, her skin August-dark, hair kissed by the light. She smiles at him, and he murmurs her name.

The beach is alive now. Couples walk past hand-in-hand. Brilliant colors dot the turquoise waters, crimson and neon-yellow, swimmers and surfers and sailboats.

"Baby," Jessica says.

Sam reaches out to her, but he's weak-limbed with warmth, and she seems strangely far away. He lets his hand drop. It's nice just to have her there.

It's okay, Sammy. Rest now.

Sam frowns. She never calls him that.


3.

It's easy to forget everything else. Sam doesn't even wonder where Dean is until the third day, and he feels kind of bad about that.

"Oh, he'll be back," Jessica says.

She points to an empty lounge chair on the other side of Sam that he never noticed before. A waiter in white shorts approaches, bringing them fruity drinks in coconuts.

Sam takes a sip. "Dean would make fun of me forever if he could see--"

Jessica cuts him off with a look. "But he can't." Sharpness disappears in a smile. "Forget all that, Sam. That's why we're here."


4.

He meets his mother that evening for dinner. She's wearing a gauzy white sundress. Her nose is cheerfully sunburned. They sit at an outdoor café overlooking the ocean.

"We should go for a walk on the beach afterwards," she says.

Sam nods, but the empty chair at their table distracts him.

His mom takes his hand. "I want you to know how proud I am of you, Sam. For moving on. Dean has felt responsible for so long, and now he's finally free to have his own life."

Her eyes are warm with reassurance, but her touch is strangely cold.


5.

He spends the next day looking for Dean, not successfully, but he does run into Meg at the market.

"Still chasing after your big brother, huh?" She laughs.

"Have you seen him?"

She picks up an oversized sombrero and puts it on him, tilts her head. "That's a good look for you."

"Meg."

"God, Sam. Have you even taken a walk on the beach yet?" She sighs. "Fine." She hands over a motel key.

He stares at it, then at her.

"Jealous? You shouldn't be. Dean always spends his time here by himself." She winks and disappears into the crowd.


6.

It's not hard to find the motel. No one's there, but Dean's things are scattered around the room, his ring on the dresser, clothes laid out on the bed. On a shelf in the closet is a worn-out stuffed rabbit Dean used to love, lost years ago, somewhere in their travels.

Sam wanders into the bathroom, touches Dean's hairbrush, picks up his razor, almost superstitiously, as if this will somehow conjure his brother. A rustling comes from the next room, and he runs back out, sees the door whisper closed. He jerks it open, looks out.

There's no one there.


7.

Jessica doesn't look happy with him.

"Where have you been? We were going to walk on the beach, remember?" She shakes her head. "You really don't know how to enjoy paradise, do you?" She slips her arm through his. "Come on. I know a place."

A nightclub, and the music is a loud slap in the face. Jessica pulls him onto the dance floor, presses close. She smells warm as promises.

"What else could you possibly want?" she asks.

"Nothing. It's just-- Dean--"

She sighs. "Dean can take care of himself."

Before Sam can say he's sorry, she's gone.


8.

Meg is sitting at the bar, laughing at him. "What a way with women."

"Where is Dean?"

She lifts an eyebrow. "What's wrong? Can't make it a whole day without him?"

He grabs her arm. "What have you done?"

Then he hears it. Come on, Sammy. Come on!

He turns, spots a man with spiky brown hair.

"Dean!"

Sam pulls him around, but it's not his brother. There's another man and another, a chain of them crisscrossing the room. All not Dean. Sam ends up back at the door where he came in.

Outside the streets are empty and silent.


9.

At dawn, he's sitting on the beach, shivering in the morning wind. A woman is out walking. When she gets close, he sees Jessica and Meg and his mother in her. She smells too sweet, like lilies about to wilt.

"Ready?"

Sam nods. He's tired of being alone and there's a certain inevitability to this. They walk. The horizon stands out starkly, like a line drawn in black magic marker, almost ominous.

Sam slows down.

The woman tells him, "Don't look back. We're almost there."

He stops.

She reaches for him, and he turns, runs, knowing what he's left behind.


10.

His life resumes with a horrible burning in the lungs, so cold ice has taken the place of his bones.

"It's okay, Sammy. I've got you. The ambulance is on the way."

Sam makes himself open his eyes. His brother's face, ghostly with fear, hovers over him. Dean's arms surround him, strong and determined. The stench of dead flowers lingers, and Sam presses his face against his brother's jacket. Smoke and leather, ancient grime, and he breathes it in.

Paradise may exist, or it might just be a dirty trick, but it doesn't matter. Sam is right where he belongs.

***



Page 1 of 3 << [1] [2] [3] >>

Date: 2006-02-27 04:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] azewewish.livejournal.com
Okay, so Sam pressing his face into Dean's jacket? *kermit flail* Um, yeah. Just...yeah.

Date: 2006-03-01 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Okay, I will admit that this was inspired by my own desire to press my face into Dean's jacket. I can't help myself! *g*

Date: 2006-02-27 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] estrella30.livejournal.com
dude. I LOVE THIS. so freaking much.

wow.

Date: 2006-03-01 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Thanks, doll! I'm so glad. And I really appreciate your looking it over for me. *loves on you*

Date: 2006-02-27 04:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] catmoran.livejournal.com
Wonderful! I like the way you ended part 9.

(I want to think that's really his mom.)

btw, please ignore the email I sent you this morning.

Date: 2006-03-01 07:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Thank you! I'm glad you liked the way I changed it. You were totally right about not tipping my hand too much. I like it much better this way.

Date: 2006-02-27 05:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mahaliem.livejournal.com
I loved this. I adore how Sam is constantly bothered by Dean's absence.

Date: 2006-03-01 07:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
For all that Sam is so insistent about having his own life, I firmly believe that he could never call anywhere paradise if it meant he was separated from Dean.

*clings to notion*

Date: 2006-02-27 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] quinnponders.livejournal.com
Wow. Just wow.

Date: 2006-03-01 07:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Thank you! Yay.

Date: 2006-02-27 05:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] denorios.livejournal.com
Oh, WOW. Just...wow. I love this. I adore this. It's wonderful. I love the vague, dreamy feel of it and the big hole where Dean should be. And the end...*wibbles*

Date: 2006-03-01 07:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked it! For all that Sam is so determined to strike out on his own, I truly believe he'd turn his back on a so-called paradise if it meant he was forever separated from Dean.

I guess I'm just a sap! :)

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] denorios.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-03-01 07:54 pm (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-02-27 05:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dolimir-k.livejournal.com
Very nicely done. So bittersweet. To finally be with those he truly loves and yet he goes back to where he's needed (and loved). To be so close to not having to worry about things, yet to embrace it for Dean. *happy sigh*

Date: 2006-03-01 07:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I really don't think Sam could feel it was paradise if it meant Dean was lost to him forever. I'm kind of a sap, Dolimir!

Date: 2006-02-27 06:01 pm (UTC)
innie_darling: (Default)
From: [personal profile] innie_darling
Wow. I really love the idea of Sam not accepting what he's being promised if he can't just know where Dean is.

Date: 2006-03-01 07:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked it! I truly believe that Sam would mistrust any paradise where Dean was lost to him.

Date: 2006-02-27 06:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] allstar12.livejournal.com
Wow, that was just beautiful. I loved it.

Date: 2006-03-01 09:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Oh, thank you! I'm so glad you thought so.

Date: 2006-02-27 06:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cosmic.livejournal.com
Oh yes. I love the feel of this, and the few details you put in, especially Dean's rabbit, because he so had a rabbit. Also. *squishes her boys*

Date: 2006-03-01 10:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked it! I figured a dream like this would have some odd details, reminders of the past, and Dean with rabbit made me go awwww! *g*

Date: 2006-02-27 06:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luvmax1.livejournal.com
Such beautiful imagery, Lenore. And I love how you made Sam see that paradise isn't real, unless Dean is there with him. So lovely.

Date: 2006-03-01 10:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked this! I really think Sam would just feel something was off if Dean wasn't there.

(no subject)

From: [identity profile] luvmax1.livejournal.com - Date: 2006-03-02 12:58 am (UTC) - Expand

Date: 2006-02-27 07:11 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] deirdre-c.livejournal.com
Beautiful! I particularly love the dream-like qualities of part 6 with the sacred things and part 8 with the frantic search through all the notDeans. Oh, and let me second (or third or whatever) the *swoon* over Sam pressing his face in Dean's jacket. Thanks!

Date: 2006-03-01 10:29 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you enjoyed this. It's kind of a departure from my usual style. It's so nice to hear you thought it worked!

Date: 2006-02-27 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pheebs1.livejournal.com
Just wanted to say I really enjoyed this. Loved the dreamlike nature of it, with the details of a bear, lost years ago. Really visual throughout, I could really picture it.

Date: 2006-03-01 10:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you enjoyed. When I saw the picture, I thought: That looks like heaven. Then I thought of the boys. And this was the outcome. :)

Date: 2006-02-27 08:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lanthano.livejournal.com
I love the edge of chill in the earlier sections, and how it starts to feel sinister with the introduction of Meg, how the sweetness is cloying and false. And then the last section, Sam knowing he's home by the scent of Dean's jacket. That acceptance is just what I'm looking for.

Date: 2006-03-01 11:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked this! Nothing is ever what it seems in their world, so when I got this picture and it looked like heaven, it started the wheels turning.

Date: 2006-02-27 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tenillypo.livejournal.com
Aw, Sammy. Very subtle and sweet at the end. *sniffles*

(This is exactly what I needed today, btw. It's way below freezing with the wind chill here and even a coma dream beach is sounding pretty good at the moment. ;-)

Date: 2006-03-01 10:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
So glad you liked this! And I totally hear you about the weather. When I got this picture, I just stared at it, thinking: Man, that looks like heaven.

That's totally where the story idea came from. *g*

Date: 2006-02-27 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jfc013.livejournal.com
Don't ever say you're not an artist, kiddo. This is amazing--saying so much with so few words! I loved it!

Date: 2006-03-01 10:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Awwwww! Thank you, Janet. I really appreciate that. So glad you liked this!

Date: 2006-02-27 08:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lastscorpion.livejournal.com
This is wonderful! I really enjoyed reading it!

Date: 2006-03-01 10:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Thanks so much, doll! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

Date: 2006-02-27 08:51 pm (UTC)
stormcloude: peace (Default)
From: [personal profile] stormcloude
Wow, I am really in awe at what you came up with from that picture. Such a contrast to what most people might see in it. The growing desperation and that final resignation almost got me.

Thanks for sharing.

Date: 2006-03-01 10:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm glad you liked it! When I looked at the picture, I thought: Wow, that looks like heaven. And I was thinking about writing about the brothers. And then I started to think about paradise would mean for Sam and/or Dean. And this is what I came up with.

Date: 2006-02-27 09:43 pm (UTC)
ext_2984: Dean reads Supernatural (Default)
From: [identity profile] jellicle.livejournal.com
I so loved that Sam chose Dean, he wasn't able to move on and leave his brother behind.

Date: 2006-03-01 10:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked this! I firmly believe that Sam could not choose a paradise that did not include Dean. Yes, I might be a little bit of a sap... *g*

Date: 2006-02-27 10:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] geminigrl11.livejournal.com
Breathtaking. And no, there just couldn't be paradise for Sam without Dean.

"Sam is right where he belongs" *happy sigh*

Date: 2006-03-01 10:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked it! These boys have the most amazing bond. I love this show so much!

Date: 2006-02-28 12:20 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mirichan.livejournal.com
This is... so good.

The imagery was vivid and I just love the fact that faced with an eternity with Jess and his mother he could not rest, could not let go of Dean and he chose his brother, life, over the rest...

And the last line is a killer.

Date: 2006-03-01 10:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you liked this! I really believe Sam could never quite trust in a so-called paradise that didn't include Dean.

Date: 2006-02-28 01:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] storydivagirl.livejournal.com
Gah. I'm totally onto you, dude. You're trying to kill me with Supernatural and RPS fic.

Great story.

Date: 2006-03-01 10:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
You got me! I am EVOL! *g*

Glad you liked this, doll!

Date: 2006-02-28 03:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] askmehow.livejournal.com
The last paragraph was just perfect, because Sam did choose this life, and it wasn't just because Jess was killed, either. Lovely, visceral fic.

Date: 2006-03-01 10:51 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I swear, I don't know when I've been touched by something on TV as much as I am by the bond between the two brothers. I can't imagine either of them ever finding peace without the other.

So glad you liked this story!

Date: 2006-02-28 04:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obiness.livejournal.com
That was very beatiful...thanks.

Date: 2006-03-01 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm so glad you thought so. Thank you!

Date: 2006-02-28 04:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dsidhe.livejournal.com
Powerful powerful imagery!

He gave up Jess and his mom because he missed Dean! OHMYGAWD! This was just an intense fic.

Thanks!

Date: 2006-03-01 10:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm so glad you thought so!
Page 1 of 3 << [1] [2] [3] >>

Profile

scribblinlenore: (Default)
scribblinlenore

October 2024

S M T W T F S
  12345
67891011 12
13141516171819
20212223242526
2728293031  

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 8th, 2025 09:56 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios