Tonight's SV ep
Apr. 15th, 2003 10:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scribblinlenoreOkay, I think I'm going to have to stop reading spoilers, because sometimes they really do-- well, spoil things. I probably would have liked this ep okay. Or at least I wouldn't have been disappointed. But I read them. And I am. Disappointed.
Lex is really acting weird and creepy. Although I did kind of enjoy the way he baited Clark about the whole alien thing, because, well, it was interaction between the two of them. And I found it kind of sexy. But then, I might find it sexy if Lex and Clark talked about what toilet bowl cleaner is the most effective. It's not a really high standard I have, I'm afraid.
But when he shows Helen the secret room? Shudder. He seems like a maniac. I mean, there's obsession. And then there's totally unhinged, freak-ass consumed-until-you-go-loony sickness. And, to me, this teetered.
I guess that could be one way Lex goes bad. By going completely INSANE. But yuck.
The secret room scene is the major source of my disappointment. When I read the spoilers I pictured less of a badly f/xed mad scientist's lair, and more of a-- well, masturbatorium with all kinds of Clark artifacts everywhere. I want my big gay fantasy, damn it!
I really felt that Lex deserved a better obsession than they gave him. So I wrote my own. It's mean to Helen. If you love her, I wouldn't read it.
***
Pondering
by Lenore
"Your obsession?" Helen sounds uncertain
Lex is not sure why that's so satisfying. Why he gets such a thrill out of pushing the envelope with the women he dates. Clark is very special to me. He'd said that just yesterday. I don't know why the girls at his school aren't more interested in him. A remark from last week. With Victoria, he'd once gone so far as to ask, Don't you think Clark is attractive?
Lex supposes these asides might seem perfectly meaningless if you didn't know him. Maybe that's even what he's been trying to prove. That none of these women really do. Know him at all.
Or maybe it's just that this is the closest he's ever going to get to actually telling someone. I want to fuck Clark so bad it hurts. Some people have true confessions. Lex has these cat-and-mouse games he plays with the girlfriends who are screwing him over.
Helen takes a tentative step into the room. She stares at the twisted wreck of the Porsche. Lex can only imagine how that must seem to her, a gruesome reminder ensconced as if it is a precious treasure. But when Lex looks at it, there is nothing like death, only the fresh earth beneath him, the sky curving overhead like endless possibility, a taste in his mouth so wholesome and sweet he still dreams about it.
"What do you do in here?" Helen asks.
"Ponder."
"It's, um-- very modern."
Space-age surfaces have the advantage of quick clean up, and pondering can get messy.
Lex only smiles.
Helen shifts her weight. It makes her nervous to be here, and maybe Lex shouldn't be such a sadistic bastard. The real game is with himself after all, not with her, and if Helen doesn't actually turn out to be on his father's payroll, he may have to feel bad about this somewhere down the line.
He's pretty sure, though, that's not a serious concern.
"I, uh-- There's something I need to--" She vaguely gestures in the direction of the door. "But thanks. For showing me."
"No problem."
He smiles like an attentive boyfriend while she flees the room. He can just imagine the look on her face as he closes the door behind her and turns the lock.
He moves to stand in front of the picture of Clark, who looks down at him with an unknowable expression, like a riddle, a challenge, like the only thing that will ever truly be worth having. It's ridiculous, Lex knows, to think that gaining Clark's secret will be anything like having Clark himself. But he suspects it's the closest he's ever going to get, and even he has to make do sometimes.
Lex cheers himself up by remembering Helen's shocked expression. After today, the door will stay locked, and Clark will be all his once more. Helen won't ask about it. She won't even come to this part of the house again, he feels certain.
And that will make it so much better. The problem with secret obsessions is that there's nobody to appreciate the greedy pleasure you're hording all to yourself. But now Helen knows, whether she'll admit it to herself or not, and every time Lex comes here, locks the door, immerses himself in Clark, it will be a little more vivid, a little more like the real thing.
He smiles up at the picture and decides to start enjoying his windfall now. Helen can wait. And when it comes to pondering the beautiful mystery that is Clark Kent, Lex has learned, there's no time quite like the present.
I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.
Date: 2003-04-16 02:10 am (UTC)The idea of Lex dropping Clark-shaped hints at his girlfriends is very sexy and exactly the kind of passive-aggressive evil that Lex would indulge in.
Re: I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.
Date: 2003-04-16 05:52 am (UTC)Anyway, glad you liked the snippet! If it's a big, gay stalkerish obsession, I just feel so much better about it. *g*
Re: I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.
Date: 2003-04-16 03:07 pm (UTC)I also need to add, that the way you have Lex hinting around with his girlfriends about Clark works so well with the way he was baiting Clark in the ep: "I've always wanted to meet an alien." It's perfect. Long live the Big Gay Obsession! Hmm, that's crying out for an icon.
Re: I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.
Date: 2003-04-16 05:01 pm (UTC)and the story!!! loved this line He's pretty sure, though, that's not a serious concern.. That line alone above everything else just gives me *chills*, the way Lex has weighed his own (future) conscience against his (current) obsessive nature, and guess which one wins?
Lovely and thanks for sharing, Lenore!
Re: I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.
Date: 2003-04-16 05:29 pm (UTC)I thought that was interesting, too. My only hesitation is that
Thanks so much for the feedback on my story, Danielle. It's not how I usually write Lex (or *like* to write him), but it is how he struck me last night. I'm so glad it worked for you!
Re: I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.
Date: 2003-04-16 06:57 pm (UTC)Hyperawareness! That's it exactly. The first thing I thought when I saw that first scene with Lex and Clark was that MR was acting as if someone had turned his this is going to sound very porny Lex-knob all the way up to 10. He'd lost any subtlety in his performance, and Lex came off totally manic. On purpose, I'm sure, but it was very jarring after nearly two-seasons of Lex being the exact opposite of that electric energy. Before, it was all implied. Last night it was made explicit.
Re: I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.
Date: 2003-04-16 05:20 pm (UTC)Yeah. Yeah. That sounds right. I had this sense that somethig was off, but I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was. It's not that anything Lex did was terribly OOC. It just had a weird energy. Which made me ill at ease.
I was okay until a friend tried to convince me how seriously insane Lex was. And not in the fun gay way.
After reading the spoilers, I was primed for the good gay fun. And a lot of people seemed to have experienced it that way. But I got more of Dr. Mengele from Lex than Dr. Ruth. Not gay. Not fun.
I also need to add, that the way you have Lex hinting around with his girlfriends about Clark works so well with the way he was baiting Clark in the ep...
Thanks! I'm glad you thought it worked. I admire Lex's ability to bait. I just thought it would be more fun (for me) if he worked some of that on Helen.
Oh, and I love your gay obsession icon. Long live the Big Gay Obsession! That's my new rallying cry. *g*
Re: I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.
Date: 2003-04-16 06:40 pm (UTC)Yes, from the first moment he enters that scene with Clark I felt he was off. As always when Lex comes to Clark, we hear Lex before we see him, and even his VOICE sounded odd. Like someone had pushed MR onto the set and he had to speak before he was ready. It was forced jovial and almost too loud. I'm sure I probably winced.
After reading the spoilers, I was primed for the good gay fun. And a lot of people seemed to have experienced it that way. But I got more of Dr. Mengele from Lex than Dr. Ruth. Not gay. Not fun.
I was unspoiled. I was talking to a friend on the east coast who was watching the ep, and she got very excited at the end, telling me I'd love it. That it would change everything. She got it half right. At first I wasn't all that upset by the room. I felt uncomfortable about what was going on, but I hadn't lost hope for Lex. Then
Oh, and I love your gay obsession icon. Long live the Big Gay Obsession! That's my new rallying cry. *g*
Thank you! It's very important to have a rallying cry. Maybe I'll make some more of these icons to give out. It'll be like therapy.
Re: I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.
Date: 2003-04-16 06:53 pm (UTC)If you do, can I have one? *smiles hopefully*
Re: I would also like to sit at the "big gay fantasy" table, please.
Date: 2003-04-16 07:37 pm (UTC)I'll post the icons to my LJ when I've got enough of them.
big gay fantasy icons
Date: 2003-04-17 03:28 am (UTC)*snort* Yeah, "maybe." Talk about being in denial. Which is to say, I made a few icons. Stop by and pick one out.