Love for Sale (aka Hooker!Clark), Part 14
Nov. 29th, 2003 07:13 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
scribblinlenoreOkay, I know I keep saying that this story has two or three more parts. But, really! This story has two or three more parts. *g*
And to think I just wanted to write a little porn one boring afternoon at work... *shakes head*
***
In movies, people talked about starting over, pretending to meet again for the first time, trying to sweep away all the old history and move forward once more, hopefully not to repeat the same mistakes that had sent them back to the beginning in the first place. Lex had always smiled at these stories, the naïve hopefulness of it, the well-trodden romanticism. In his experience, ruined was ruined, and nothing was going to change that.
But this was Clark now, and ruin just wasn't an option.
Maybe starting over was inevitable for them anyway given how they'd begun. No prelude, no courtship, unless the way they'd watched and fantasized about one another back at the club counted, and Lex was pretty sure it didn't. He'd never had to win Clark, never wooed him. Maybe it was true that the most important things in life could never be bought. They had to be earned.
Clark certainly seemed to think so. He remained insistent about paying his own way, working at the grocery store four days a week. Tonight, Lex had actually beaten him home. Deliveries came in on Wednesdays, and Clark's shift tended to run late. Lex had picked up Chinese on his way and a couple of DVDs from the first season of Clark's favorite show, a soapy drama about a bunch of really pretty gay boys. He ignored the irrational prickle of jealousy he always felt about Clark's obsession with it. They were just actors. It was only a show. And besides, he'd learned his lesson.
He got plates and silverware from the kitchen, set out the food on the coffee table in the living room. Clark usually came home hungry. He poured himself a Scotch, and it wasn't long before Clark walked through the door.
He smiled when he saw Lex. "Hey."
"Hey." Lex went to kiss him.
They were still careful with one another, even after Clark had come to him that first night. They kissed, slept in the same bed, but they hadn't made love yet. Lex missed it, missed Clark's body, his skin, the closeness of sex. But it did give him a chance to appreciate the small moments. Sometimes just holding Clark's hand filled him with such an intense rush of feeling it made his chest hurt.
"How was your day?" Clark asked.
"Good. Yours?"
"An order of artichokes came in. That's big news down at the market." He grinned. "Do I have time to grab a shower before dinner?"
"Sure. And, hey, I picked up two episodes of your show at the video store. I thought we could watch them."
"That's so nice. Thank you." He kissed Lex before heading off to the bathroom.
He came back a little while later dressed in sweats, hair still damp, and they settled down to sesame chicken and moo-shu vegetables. After they ate, Clark popped in the DVD and curled up against Lex on the sofa, resting his head on his shoulder. It didn't really matter that Lex wasn't a big fan of the show. They could have been staring at a blank screen for all he cared, just as long as he got to hold Clark.
He drank his Scotch and pressed an occasional kiss to the top of Clark's head and paid little attention to the story. He could never remember the characters' names or keep straight who had the drug problem and which one's mother committed suicide. Clark watched, completely engrossed, and Lex watched him, trying not to be too obvious.
The show took one of its predictably steamy turns, and two boys tumbled into bed together, laughing and kissing and fumbling with each other's clothes. Lex felt Clark tense against him, and his own attention was suddenly riveted to the screen. The boys were soon naked, moaning and moving against each other, and Lex was instantly, painfully hard. Clark was so near and he smelled so good, and Lex wanted him so much.
Clark shot him a hesitant look. Lex stroked his thumb along his cheek, tilted his chin and kissed him, lightly at first, sweetly. This was how they'd touched each other since Clark had come back, safely, affectionately, skirting around the passion that still simmered between them. But the sounds coming from the boys on screen were remarkably true to life, and it could have been the two of them doing those things to each other. Lex leaned into Clark, tangled his fingers in his hair, and the kiss caught fire, lighting all the reserves of hunger they'd been carefully holding back.
Lex devoured Clark's mouth, and Clark kisses were just as frenzied, leaving them both shuddering and breathless. There was a silent, fearful part of Lex that had wondered if he'd ever have this again, and now that he finally did, he couldn't get close enough, couldn't kiss or touch Clark enough.
Clark shifted his body, and Lex could feel the heat of his hard-on against his thigh. He sighed softly against his mouth and stroked his hands over his back. That Clark still wanted him made him almost weak with relief. Clark rubbed his hand in circles up the inside of his thigh. He let his legs fall open in encouragement. When Clark finally touched his cock through his pants, he gasped out loud, because, God, it felt so good and he'd missed this so much.
Clark, though, reacted as if he'd been slapped. He jumped back, scrambled away to the other end of the sofa. "I'm sorry," he said, eyes downcast.
"It's all right. It's--"
It was hard to find the right words when he ached for Clark so badly he didn't know how he'd stand it. But Clark clearly wasn't ready, and he had to respect that.
Clark got to his feet. "I'm just--" He waved his hand. "I think I'll go get ready for bed." He practically ran from the room.
Lex let out his breath and flopped back against the sofa. The scene on television had changed. There were different boys, in a club now, dancing, kissing. Lex's erection strained painfully against his zipper. He undid his pants, eased his cock out, but made sure to flip off the set first. Leaving it on would have felt too much like cheating. He squeezed his eyes shut and thought of Clark and jacked himself off, coming in his handkerchief to avoid a mess, hardly how he'd envisioned the evening ending.
He cleaned up the remains of dinner, and by the time he headed into the bedroom Clark was pretending to be asleep. Lex changed into his pajamas and washed up in the bathroom. He slid into bed beside Clark, who was lying on his side, turned away from him, body tense. Lex stared up at the ceiling, wondering if they were ever really going to get past this.
Finally, he reached out and touched Clark's shoulder. "You okay?"
"I'm sorry, Lex." Clark sounded miserable.
Lex rubbed his hand in circles. "We're just at different places with this. There's nothing to be sorry for."
"You're not mad at me?"
"Of course not." He pressed a kiss to his shoulder.
Clark turned to face him. Lex folded him into his arms, stroked his hair.
"It's going to be okay," Lex said, as much to convince himself as Clark.
***
At least Lex was making progress at work. The next week, he got the call he'd been waiting for from Mason Tucker.
"We found the leak."
Lex gripped the phone tighter. "Who?"
"I'd rather discuss it in person. How's your afternoon look?"
"Be here in ten minutes."
He spent the time pacing up and down his office like some dangerous, caged thing. Payback was something he took seriously under any circumstances. He'd endured enough betrayal in his life that it left a permanent bitter taste. But this bastard had sold him out to his father. Recent events had made that an even graver affront than usual. He planned to see that this traitor was very, very sorry, indeed. And was going to enjoy it, too.
Tucker and his associates arrived and were sent directly in.
"Well?" Lex demanded the minute the door was closed.
Tucker took a seat, opened his briefcase, pulled out some papers. "You might want to sit down."
"Just show me."
Tucker handed him the report, and his mouth fell open. "You've got to be kidding."
"I'm afraid not."
"That little--" Lex lunged, halfway to the door before Tucker stopped him.
"We can't tip him off."
"Why the hell not? I want the police here. I want that spying son of a bitch in jail. Right now!"
"So do I. But we need evidence we can actually present in court. The surveillance we did on your competitors to break the case-- Well, let's just say it can't bear that kind of scrutiny."
Lex curled his hands into fists. "If he gets away with this--"
"He won't. Trust me."
Lex sighed impatiently. "So what do we do now?"
"Set a trap. Get proof we can use. The law is on our side when it comes to workplace surveillance. We'll rig this whole place with cameras tonight. Put a tap on the phone at his desk and in every common area on the floor. Monitor his email and Internet. We'll plant some information, tipping him off that something big is up. Tomorrow, you'll get a special delivery, couriered by my people, top-secret research from Cadmus. Then you'll suddenly be called away. And when he makes his move, we'll have him."
"What if he doesn't go for it?"
"He will. If he weren't waiting for another score, he wouldn’t still be here."
Lex thought it over. "Do it," he said. "I want him behind bars. I want this over."
Tucker nodded. "We'll get started as soon as the subject has cleared the building."
"Good. I want that bastard out of my company, out of my building, out of my goddamned sight."
"You got it." Tucker gave his team the sign, and they headed for the door. "By the end of the day tomorrow, he'll be on his way to jail. I guarantee it."
They left, and Lex flopped down on his chair. It was one kind of insult to get played by his father. It was another that the instrument of his father's victory turned out to be the village idiot.
He sighed. There was only one thing that would make him feel better. He picked up the phone.
"Hello?" Clark answered.
"Hey."
"Lex." Even after everything that had happened, Clark still sounded as if it was the best kind of treat when Lex called, and that still made Lex feel like the luckiest man alive.
"How's the studying going?"
"Good. I think I'll be ready for the test by Saturday."
"You're going to do great."
"How's your day?"
He sighed. "What if I told you I'd been outwitted by a moron?"
Clark laughed softly. "I'd say that was pretty hard to believe."
He smiled, despite himself. "It's sad but true, I'm afraid."
"Then whoever it was must have just gotten lucky."
He cleared his throat. "Clark, would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?" He felt almost nervous asking. They'd kept things very low key since Clark's return, and this would be the first time they'd actually gone out in public together.
"I'd love to, Lex," Clark's voice pulsed warmly over the line, and no matter how good it had been before, this was still better, because Clark wasn't paid to say yes. He might not even let Lex buy him dinner. It wasn't about money or connections or anything but the two of them. Lex really did believe that now.
"I'll see you soon," he said, smiling like a man who wasn't quite so afraid to be in love.
***
They were late for their dinner reservation. Not because they didn't make it to the restaurant on time, but because Lex kept Clark outside a good ten minutes just saying hello.
Clark smiled softly as Lex explored a sensitive spot behind his ear. "So I'm guessing you're glad to see me?"
"Mmm." He kissed along Clark's jaw.
"Bad days have an interesting effect on you."
"They give me a renewed appreciation for the good things."
Clark pressed close, and Lex could feel the heat of his body. "Do you want to just skip dinner and go home?"
"Yes." He took Clark's hand and led him toward the restaurant's entrance. "But I invited you out, and never let it be said that I welsh on a date."
Clark smiled, his eyes warm. "A date, huh?"
Lex kissed him. "Yes."
The maitre' d seated them. They took a look at the menu and ordered.
Lex sipped his wine, leaned back in his chair and studied Clark. "So tell me about your ambitions."
"What do you mean?"
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Oh." Clark's eyes twinkled. "Well-- You're probably not going to like it."
Lex smiled. "Try me."
"I always kind of thought I'd like to be a reporter."
"Ah, a muckraker." Lex said, playfully.
Clark arched an eyebrow. "Don't you mean investigative journalist?"
"So you like to write?"
"I do," Clark said, almost as if it were a revelation. "I used to work on the school paper back home. Really just because a friend of mine strong-armed me into it. But the more I got involved with it, the more I could see spending my life doing that."
"I'd like to read something you've written sometime."
Clark's face lit up. "Really?"
"Of course."
Clark leaned forward in his chair. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure. Anything."
"Did you always know you wanted to run your own company?"
He nodded. "I grew up with the assumption that I'd take over LuthorCorp someday. I never really considered any other possibilities."
"Do you like your job?"
"You know, I do. I like-- Well, I like being in charge, needless to say." Clark grinned at that. "I like the mental challenge of it. Business is a lot like playing chess, anticipating your competitors' moves and countering them. And, of course, when you work for yourself you're actually taking a risk. And I like that best of all. Not playing it safe."
Clark was smiling softly.
"What?" Lex asked.
He shook his head. "It's just-- nice. We've never really talked like this before."
"No, I guess we haven't."
"Why now?" Clark regarded him curiously.
"Because starting over isn't just a plot device."
"Um. What?"
"Things shouldn't just be different. They should be better."
Clark reached for his hand. "I want that, too."
Dinner arrived, and their conversation ranged all over the place. Lex confessed his embarrassingly geeky devotion to Warrior Angel. Clark shyly described how it had been for him in high school, feeling like a stranger, a guy who didn't play sports and blended into the woodwork, who had a crush on the prettiest girl but oddly didn't want to sleep with her and couldn't quite figure out why.
There was so much more that Lex wanted to know, wanted to tell. And he had to wonder why he'd never done this before, not just with Clark, but with anyone, why he'd always rushed past these important getting-to-know-you moments. He'd married Desiree after knowing her barely two weeks. Even if that was largely due to the brain-sapping spell she'd put on him, his head had been perfectly clear with Helen, and he'd known her only two months before asking her to move in. He could imagine the field day a therapist would have with all this. Are you trying to make up for the family you never really had? Do you think people will leave if you truly let them get to know you?
It was no wonder, really, that Lex didn't have a therapist.
They finished eating, and the check came. Lex reached for it, and Clark pulled out his wallet, too.
"I've got it," Lex told him.
"You know our agreement."
"Yes, and I also know that I invited you out. So it's only customary that I treat you." He plunked down a credit card and handed it to their waiter before Clark could argue further.
"What if I asked you out?" Clark challenged.
The waiter returned with the credit card receipt. Lex signed it, and they rose to go.
"Then I'd expect you to be a gentleman."
Clark smiled and took his hand as they headed for the coat check. "So are you busy on Saturday night? I'd like to take you out to celebrate. I get my first paycheck and hopefully I will have passed my test. I probably can't afford anything as fancy as this, but--"
He pulled Clark in for a kiss. "I'd love to."
Clark's face practically glowed with pleasure, and there was almost nothing that could have ruined Lex's mood right then. Unfortunately, running into Millicent Brubaker outside the cloak room was one of them.
"Alex!" She made a big, gushing display of kissing him on the cheek. "It's so good to see you." Her glance traveled over to Clark. "And-- Carl, is it?" She smiled like the viper she was.
If Lex's jaw tightened any more his teeth would have cracked. "What do you want?"
"Only to say hello," she said innocently. And then pointedly looked over at the coatroom. "Brings back memories, huh, Alex?" She winked.
Clark stepped between them. "From what Lex tells me, I'd say it's more like nightmares."
Her mouth dropped open. "You little--"
Clark turned and laid a kiss on Lex that he felt down to his knees. Who knew territorial Clark would be such a turn on?
"I'm afraid you're out of luck-- Melanie, was it?" Clark's voice was icy. "Lex doesn't do pity fucks anymore." He looked her up and down. "And haven't you heard? The FDA says silicone is bad for your health."
Millicent's face turned bright red. It was not the way she was used to being spoken to, and she seemed at a loss for words. Frankly, Lex was rather taken by surprise himself. Millicent shot them a poisonous look, turned on her heel and stalked away. Lex pressed his face into Clark neck and started to shake.
"Are you laughing at me?" Clark demanded, sounding hurt.
Lex shook his head. "No, no, with you." He wiped his eyes. "I haven't seen her speechless since-- Well, ever." He started laughing again.
"You really don't like her, do you?"
"Not even a little bit."
"Good," Clark said, with obvious satisfaction. "Because she can't have you."
He stroked his thumb along Clark's cheek. "No, she really can't."
Clark's smile was the brightest Lex had ever seen it.
They got their coats and went home. Back at the apartment, they headed into the bedroom to change. Clark sat down on the edge of the bed to take off his shoes. Lex put his cufflinks away and watched Clark in the mirror. They'd made progress. He could feel it. And yet, he still couldn't guess how Clark felt about going to bed with him. He'd thought he'd understood Clark's reticence the other night, but now he wasn't so sure. He was beginning to see the wisdom in Clark's insistence that they be more straightforward with each other.
He turned around. "I'd really like to have sex with you." Clark froze mid-shoelace. "I miss it. Miss being close to you that way. But I understand if you're not ready, and I can wait."
Clark darted a worried look at him. "I-- I didn't think--"
"Like I said, if you're not ready--"
Clark let out breath. "It's not that."
Lex sat down beside him. "Then what?"
"I just didn't expect that you'd want-- after what I did." His eyes dropped to the floor.
"We both made mistakes, and we're both sorry. And, hey--" He tilted Clark's chin up, made him look at him. "We're both forgiven."
"What if I don't forgive myself?"
"Clark--"
He shook his head. "No, Lex. Don't try to say that what you did is the same, because it's not. You didn't almost--" His voice broke. "Rape the person you love. I don't know how I could have done that." His eyes were desperate. "And I'm afraid. What if something happens and I lose control again?"
"Clark." His voice was firm. "It's not going to happen again. You know why? Because you feel this bad. It's the same way you know I'll never cheat on you again."
"But I don't understand why, Lex. And I need to. Or I can't--" He shook his head. "Can't trust myself."
Lex had never really allowed himself to think about things that might have happened to Clark before they met, because just the idea of other men touching him was enough to drive him crazy. But Clark had said a lot of ugly things that night when he'd gotten angry, and those ideas had to have come from somewhere. Lex felt certain Clark's inner landscape was natively sunny. Dark and twisted things had to be transplants.
"It must have been pretty hard out on the streets, huh?"
"It wasn't fun."
"And the men you were with weren't always particularly nice to you, I'm guessing?"
Clark wouldn't answer, wouldn't even look at him.
"Did they hurt you?"
He shook his head. "They couldn't. I'm too strong."
"Hurt isn't always physical, Clark."
"Some of them called me names." His voice got very quiet. "Whore and bitch and stuff like that. And some of them-- liked to come in my face. They always got a big laugh out of that. And it made me feel so--" He didn't finish, but then he didn't have to.
Lex closed his eyes. "I'm sorry that happened to you."
"That's the first thing I noticed about you. That you weren't like that. Even the way you looked at me, like you actually saw me and not just some anonymous piece of ass. It was always different with you. I never felt dirty. Never felt like a whore."
"Until that night when you saw me with Millicent. Then it wasn't different anymore. Then it felt like you were back in your old life." He slipped his arm around Clark's shoulders and hugged him.
Clark whispered, "I would have hated myself if I'd actually--"
"But you didn't." He gathered Clark's face in his hands and looked into his eyes. "And you know what? I still love you. And I should have said that before."
Clark's face lit with a cautious kind of hope. "You do?" He sounded like a child who wanted something too much, and it was almost painful for Lex to hear. "I kind of thought, but you never said. I just hoped--"
Lex kissed him. "I do. I always have. I'm just kind of an idiot sometimes."
"No, you're not." Clark's hands couldn't seem to stay still. They rubbed at Lex's shoulders, thumbs traced the hollows under his collarbone, fingers splayed across the back of his neck. "You're just careful. And I like that about you. I really like you, Lex. Even if we weren't--" He pressed his warm palm flat against Lex's chest, right over his heart. "I'd still want to be your friend."
It was, without doubt or comparison, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him, and the best part was that Clark actually meant it.
Lex rested his forehead against Clark's. "Can I make love to you?"
"Yes." Clark licked his lips. "Please. I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you, too. And I love you. More than I've ever loved anyone."
He spent the rest of the night showing Clark just how much he meant it.
***
You can read the previous parts here:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13
ETA: Also, check out the groovy icon![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
katkim made me. Clark even has a bar code! *g*
And to think I just wanted to write a little porn one boring afternoon at work... *shakes head*
***
In movies, people talked about starting over, pretending to meet again for the first time, trying to sweep away all the old history and move forward once more, hopefully not to repeat the same mistakes that had sent them back to the beginning in the first place. Lex had always smiled at these stories, the naïve hopefulness of it, the well-trodden romanticism. In his experience, ruined was ruined, and nothing was going to change that.
But this was Clark now, and ruin just wasn't an option.
Maybe starting over was inevitable for them anyway given how they'd begun. No prelude, no courtship, unless the way they'd watched and fantasized about one another back at the club counted, and Lex was pretty sure it didn't. He'd never had to win Clark, never wooed him. Maybe it was true that the most important things in life could never be bought. They had to be earned.
Clark certainly seemed to think so. He remained insistent about paying his own way, working at the grocery store four days a week. Tonight, Lex had actually beaten him home. Deliveries came in on Wednesdays, and Clark's shift tended to run late. Lex had picked up Chinese on his way and a couple of DVDs from the first season of Clark's favorite show, a soapy drama about a bunch of really pretty gay boys. He ignored the irrational prickle of jealousy he always felt about Clark's obsession with it. They were just actors. It was only a show. And besides, he'd learned his lesson.
He got plates and silverware from the kitchen, set out the food on the coffee table in the living room. Clark usually came home hungry. He poured himself a Scotch, and it wasn't long before Clark walked through the door.
He smiled when he saw Lex. "Hey."
"Hey." Lex went to kiss him.
They were still careful with one another, even after Clark had come to him that first night. They kissed, slept in the same bed, but they hadn't made love yet. Lex missed it, missed Clark's body, his skin, the closeness of sex. But it did give him a chance to appreciate the small moments. Sometimes just holding Clark's hand filled him with such an intense rush of feeling it made his chest hurt.
"How was your day?" Clark asked.
"Good. Yours?"
"An order of artichokes came in. That's big news down at the market." He grinned. "Do I have time to grab a shower before dinner?"
"Sure. And, hey, I picked up two episodes of your show at the video store. I thought we could watch them."
"That's so nice. Thank you." He kissed Lex before heading off to the bathroom.
He came back a little while later dressed in sweats, hair still damp, and they settled down to sesame chicken and moo-shu vegetables. After they ate, Clark popped in the DVD and curled up against Lex on the sofa, resting his head on his shoulder. It didn't really matter that Lex wasn't a big fan of the show. They could have been staring at a blank screen for all he cared, just as long as he got to hold Clark.
He drank his Scotch and pressed an occasional kiss to the top of Clark's head and paid little attention to the story. He could never remember the characters' names or keep straight who had the drug problem and which one's mother committed suicide. Clark watched, completely engrossed, and Lex watched him, trying not to be too obvious.
The show took one of its predictably steamy turns, and two boys tumbled into bed together, laughing and kissing and fumbling with each other's clothes. Lex felt Clark tense against him, and his own attention was suddenly riveted to the screen. The boys were soon naked, moaning and moving against each other, and Lex was instantly, painfully hard. Clark was so near and he smelled so good, and Lex wanted him so much.
Clark shot him a hesitant look. Lex stroked his thumb along his cheek, tilted his chin and kissed him, lightly at first, sweetly. This was how they'd touched each other since Clark had come back, safely, affectionately, skirting around the passion that still simmered between them. But the sounds coming from the boys on screen were remarkably true to life, and it could have been the two of them doing those things to each other. Lex leaned into Clark, tangled his fingers in his hair, and the kiss caught fire, lighting all the reserves of hunger they'd been carefully holding back.
Lex devoured Clark's mouth, and Clark kisses were just as frenzied, leaving them both shuddering and breathless. There was a silent, fearful part of Lex that had wondered if he'd ever have this again, and now that he finally did, he couldn't get close enough, couldn't kiss or touch Clark enough.
Clark shifted his body, and Lex could feel the heat of his hard-on against his thigh. He sighed softly against his mouth and stroked his hands over his back. That Clark still wanted him made him almost weak with relief. Clark rubbed his hand in circles up the inside of his thigh. He let his legs fall open in encouragement. When Clark finally touched his cock through his pants, he gasped out loud, because, God, it felt so good and he'd missed this so much.
Clark, though, reacted as if he'd been slapped. He jumped back, scrambled away to the other end of the sofa. "I'm sorry," he said, eyes downcast.
"It's all right. It's--"
It was hard to find the right words when he ached for Clark so badly he didn't know how he'd stand it. But Clark clearly wasn't ready, and he had to respect that.
Clark got to his feet. "I'm just--" He waved his hand. "I think I'll go get ready for bed." He practically ran from the room.
Lex let out his breath and flopped back against the sofa. The scene on television had changed. There were different boys, in a club now, dancing, kissing. Lex's erection strained painfully against his zipper. He undid his pants, eased his cock out, but made sure to flip off the set first. Leaving it on would have felt too much like cheating. He squeezed his eyes shut and thought of Clark and jacked himself off, coming in his handkerchief to avoid a mess, hardly how he'd envisioned the evening ending.
He cleaned up the remains of dinner, and by the time he headed into the bedroom Clark was pretending to be asleep. Lex changed into his pajamas and washed up in the bathroom. He slid into bed beside Clark, who was lying on his side, turned away from him, body tense. Lex stared up at the ceiling, wondering if they were ever really going to get past this.
Finally, he reached out and touched Clark's shoulder. "You okay?"
"I'm sorry, Lex." Clark sounded miserable.
Lex rubbed his hand in circles. "We're just at different places with this. There's nothing to be sorry for."
"You're not mad at me?"
"Of course not." He pressed a kiss to his shoulder.
Clark turned to face him. Lex folded him into his arms, stroked his hair.
"It's going to be okay," Lex said, as much to convince himself as Clark.
***
At least Lex was making progress at work. The next week, he got the call he'd been waiting for from Mason Tucker.
"We found the leak."
Lex gripped the phone tighter. "Who?"
"I'd rather discuss it in person. How's your afternoon look?"
"Be here in ten minutes."
He spent the time pacing up and down his office like some dangerous, caged thing. Payback was something he took seriously under any circumstances. He'd endured enough betrayal in his life that it left a permanent bitter taste. But this bastard had sold him out to his father. Recent events had made that an even graver affront than usual. He planned to see that this traitor was very, very sorry, indeed. And was going to enjoy it, too.
Tucker and his associates arrived and were sent directly in.
"Well?" Lex demanded the minute the door was closed.
Tucker took a seat, opened his briefcase, pulled out some papers. "You might want to sit down."
"Just show me."
Tucker handed him the report, and his mouth fell open. "You've got to be kidding."
"I'm afraid not."
"That little--" Lex lunged, halfway to the door before Tucker stopped him.
"We can't tip him off."
"Why the hell not? I want the police here. I want that spying son of a bitch in jail. Right now!"
"So do I. But we need evidence we can actually present in court. The surveillance we did on your competitors to break the case-- Well, let's just say it can't bear that kind of scrutiny."
Lex curled his hands into fists. "If he gets away with this--"
"He won't. Trust me."
Lex sighed impatiently. "So what do we do now?"
"Set a trap. Get proof we can use. The law is on our side when it comes to workplace surveillance. We'll rig this whole place with cameras tonight. Put a tap on the phone at his desk and in every common area on the floor. Monitor his email and Internet. We'll plant some information, tipping him off that something big is up. Tomorrow, you'll get a special delivery, couriered by my people, top-secret research from Cadmus. Then you'll suddenly be called away. And when he makes his move, we'll have him."
"What if he doesn't go for it?"
"He will. If he weren't waiting for another score, he wouldn’t still be here."
Lex thought it over. "Do it," he said. "I want him behind bars. I want this over."
Tucker nodded. "We'll get started as soon as the subject has cleared the building."
"Good. I want that bastard out of my company, out of my building, out of my goddamned sight."
"You got it." Tucker gave his team the sign, and they headed for the door. "By the end of the day tomorrow, he'll be on his way to jail. I guarantee it."
They left, and Lex flopped down on his chair. It was one kind of insult to get played by his father. It was another that the instrument of his father's victory turned out to be the village idiot.
He sighed. There was only one thing that would make him feel better. He picked up the phone.
"Hello?" Clark answered.
"Hey."
"Lex." Even after everything that had happened, Clark still sounded as if it was the best kind of treat when Lex called, and that still made Lex feel like the luckiest man alive.
"How's the studying going?"
"Good. I think I'll be ready for the test by Saturday."
"You're going to do great."
"How's your day?"
He sighed. "What if I told you I'd been outwitted by a moron?"
Clark laughed softly. "I'd say that was pretty hard to believe."
He smiled, despite himself. "It's sad but true, I'm afraid."
"Then whoever it was must have just gotten lucky."
He cleared his throat. "Clark, would you like to go out to dinner with me tonight?" He felt almost nervous asking. They'd kept things very low key since Clark's return, and this would be the first time they'd actually gone out in public together.
"I'd love to, Lex," Clark's voice pulsed warmly over the line, and no matter how good it had been before, this was still better, because Clark wasn't paid to say yes. He might not even let Lex buy him dinner. It wasn't about money or connections or anything but the two of them. Lex really did believe that now.
"I'll see you soon," he said, smiling like a man who wasn't quite so afraid to be in love.
***
They were late for their dinner reservation. Not because they didn't make it to the restaurant on time, but because Lex kept Clark outside a good ten minutes just saying hello.
Clark smiled softly as Lex explored a sensitive spot behind his ear. "So I'm guessing you're glad to see me?"
"Mmm." He kissed along Clark's jaw.
"Bad days have an interesting effect on you."
"They give me a renewed appreciation for the good things."
Clark pressed close, and Lex could feel the heat of his body. "Do you want to just skip dinner and go home?"
"Yes." He took Clark's hand and led him toward the restaurant's entrance. "But I invited you out, and never let it be said that I welsh on a date."
Clark smiled, his eyes warm. "A date, huh?"
Lex kissed him. "Yes."
The maitre' d seated them. They took a look at the menu and ordered.
Lex sipped his wine, leaned back in his chair and studied Clark. "So tell me about your ambitions."
"What do you mean?"
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"
"Oh." Clark's eyes twinkled. "Well-- You're probably not going to like it."
Lex smiled. "Try me."
"I always kind of thought I'd like to be a reporter."
"Ah, a muckraker." Lex said, playfully.
Clark arched an eyebrow. "Don't you mean investigative journalist?"
"So you like to write?"
"I do," Clark said, almost as if it were a revelation. "I used to work on the school paper back home. Really just because a friend of mine strong-armed me into it. But the more I got involved with it, the more I could see spending my life doing that."
"I'd like to read something you've written sometime."
Clark's face lit up. "Really?"
"Of course."
Clark leaned forward in his chair. "Can I ask you something?"
"Sure. Anything."
"Did you always know you wanted to run your own company?"
He nodded. "I grew up with the assumption that I'd take over LuthorCorp someday. I never really considered any other possibilities."
"Do you like your job?"
"You know, I do. I like-- Well, I like being in charge, needless to say." Clark grinned at that. "I like the mental challenge of it. Business is a lot like playing chess, anticipating your competitors' moves and countering them. And, of course, when you work for yourself you're actually taking a risk. And I like that best of all. Not playing it safe."
Clark was smiling softly.
"What?" Lex asked.
He shook his head. "It's just-- nice. We've never really talked like this before."
"No, I guess we haven't."
"Why now?" Clark regarded him curiously.
"Because starting over isn't just a plot device."
"Um. What?"
"Things shouldn't just be different. They should be better."
Clark reached for his hand. "I want that, too."
Dinner arrived, and their conversation ranged all over the place. Lex confessed his embarrassingly geeky devotion to Warrior Angel. Clark shyly described how it had been for him in high school, feeling like a stranger, a guy who didn't play sports and blended into the woodwork, who had a crush on the prettiest girl but oddly didn't want to sleep with her and couldn't quite figure out why.
There was so much more that Lex wanted to know, wanted to tell. And he had to wonder why he'd never done this before, not just with Clark, but with anyone, why he'd always rushed past these important getting-to-know-you moments. He'd married Desiree after knowing her barely two weeks. Even if that was largely due to the brain-sapping spell she'd put on him, his head had been perfectly clear with Helen, and he'd known her only two months before asking her to move in. He could imagine the field day a therapist would have with all this. Are you trying to make up for the family you never really had? Do you think people will leave if you truly let them get to know you?
It was no wonder, really, that Lex didn't have a therapist.
They finished eating, and the check came. Lex reached for it, and Clark pulled out his wallet, too.
"I've got it," Lex told him.
"You know our agreement."
"Yes, and I also know that I invited you out. So it's only customary that I treat you." He plunked down a credit card and handed it to their waiter before Clark could argue further.
"What if I asked you out?" Clark challenged.
The waiter returned with the credit card receipt. Lex signed it, and they rose to go.
"Then I'd expect you to be a gentleman."
Clark smiled and took his hand as they headed for the coat check. "So are you busy on Saturday night? I'd like to take you out to celebrate. I get my first paycheck and hopefully I will have passed my test. I probably can't afford anything as fancy as this, but--"
He pulled Clark in for a kiss. "I'd love to."
Clark's face practically glowed with pleasure, and there was almost nothing that could have ruined Lex's mood right then. Unfortunately, running into Millicent Brubaker outside the cloak room was one of them.
"Alex!" She made a big, gushing display of kissing him on the cheek. "It's so good to see you." Her glance traveled over to Clark. "And-- Carl, is it?" She smiled like the viper she was.
If Lex's jaw tightened any more his teeth would have cracked. "What do you want?"
"Only to say hello," she said innocently. And then pointedly looked over at the coatroom. "Brings back memories, huh, Alex?" She winked.
Clark stepped between them. "From what Lex tells me, I'd say it's more like nightmares."
Her mouth dropped open. "You little--"
Clark turned and laid a kiss on Lex that he felt down to his knees. Who knew territorial Clark would be such a turn on?
"I'm afraid you're out of luck-- Melanie, was it?" Clark's voice was icy. "Lex doesn't do pity fucks anymore." He looked her up and down. "And haven't you heard? The FDA says silicone is bad for your health."
Millicent's face turned bright red. It was not the way she was used to being spoken to, and she seemed at a loss for words. Frankly, Lex was rather taken by surprise himself. Millicent shot them a poisonous look, turned on her heel and stalked away. Lex pressed his face into Clark neck and started to shake.
"Are you laughing at me?" Clark demanded, sounding hurt.
Lex shook his head. "No, no, with you." He wiped his eyes. "I haven't seen her speechless since-- Well, ever." He started laughing again.
"You really don't like her, do you?"
"Not even a little bit."
"Good," Clark said, with obvious satisfaction. "Because she can't have you."
He stroked his thumb along Clark's cheek. "No, she really can't."
Clark's smile was the brightest Lex had ever seen it.
They got their coats and went home. Back at the apartment, they headed into the bedroom to change. Clark sat down on the edge of the bed to take off his shoes. Lex put his cufflinks away and watched Clark in the mirror. They'd made progress. He could feel it. And yet, he still couldn't guess how Clark felt about going to bed with him. He'd thought he'd understood Clark's reticence the other night, but now he wasn't so sure. He was beginning to see the wisdom in Clark's insistence that they be more straightforward with each other.
He turned around. "I'd really like to have sex with you." Clark froze mid-shoelace. "I miss it. Miss being close to you that way. But I understand if you're not ready, and I can wait."
Clark darted a worried look at him. "I-- I didn't think--"
"Like I said, if you're not ready--"
Clark let out breath. "It's not that."
Lex sat down beside him. "Then what?"
"I just didn't expect that you'd want-- after what I did." His eyes dropped to the floor.
"We both made mistakes, and we're both sorry. And, hey--" He tilted Clark's chin up, made him look at him. "We're both forgiven."
"What if I don't forgive myself?"
"Clark--"
He shook his head. "No, Lex. Don't try to say that what you did is the same, because it's not. You didn't almost--" His voice broke. "Rape the person you love. I don't know how I could have done that." His eyes were desperate. "And I'm afraid. What if something happens and I lose control again?"
"Clark." His voice was firm. "It's not going to happen again. You know why? Because you feel this bad. It's the same way you know I'll never cheat on you again."
"But I don't understand why, Lex. And I need to. Or I can't--" He shook his head. "Can't trust myself."
Lex had never really allowed himself to think about things that might have happened to Clark before they met, because just the idea of other men touching him was enough to drive him crazy. But Clark had said a lot of ugly things that night when he'd gotten angry, and those ideas had to have come from somewhere. Lex felt certain Clark's inner landscape was natively sunny. Dark and twisted things had to be transplants.
"It must have been pretty hard out on the streets, huh?"
"It wasn't fun."
"And the men you were with weren't always particularly nice to you, I'm guessing?"
Clark wouldn't answer, wouldn't even look at him.
"Did they hurt you?"
He shook his head. "They couldn't. I'm too strong."
"Hurt isn't always physical, Clark."
"Some of them called me names." His voice got very quiet. "Whore and bitch and stuff like that. And some of them-- liked to come in my face. They always got a big laugh out of that. And it made me feel so--" He didn't finish, but then he didn't have to.
Lex closed his eyes. "I'm sorry that happened to you."
"That's the first thing I noticed about you. That you weren't like that. Even the way you looked at me, like you actually saw me and not just some anonymous piece of ass. It was always different with you. I never felt dirty. Never felt like a whore."
"Until that night when you saw me with Millicent. Then it wasn't different anymore. Then it felt like you were back in your old life." He slipped his arm around Clark's shoulders and hugged him.
Clark whispered, "I would have hated myself if I'd actually--"
"But you didn't." He gathered Clark's face in his hands and looked into his eyes. "And you know what? I still love you. And I should have said that before."
Clark's face lit with a cautious kind of hope. "You do?" He sounded like a child who wanted something too much, and it was almost painful for Lex to hear. "I kind of thought, but you never said. I just hoped--"
Lex kissed him. "I do. I always have. I'm just kind of an idiot sometimes."
"No, you're not." Clark's hands couldn't seem to stay still. They rubbed at Lex's shoulders, thumbs traced the hollows under his collarbone, fingers splayed across the back of his neck. "You're just careful. And I like that about you. I really like you, Lex. Even if we weren't--" He pressed his warm palm flat against Lex's chest, right over his heart. "I'd still want to be your friend."
It was, without doubt or comparison, the nicest thing anyone had ever said to him, and the best part was that Clark actually meant it.
Lex rested his forehead against Clark's. "Can I make love to you?"
"Yes." Clark licked his lips. "Please. I've missed you so much."
"I've missed you, too. And I love you. More than I've ever loved anyone."
He spent the rest of the night showing Clark just how much he meant it.
***
You can read the previous parts here:
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13
ETA: Also, check out the groovy icon
katkim made me. Clark even has a bar code! *g*![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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Date: 2003-11-30 05:05 pm (UTC)Hee! Katkim put a bar code on Clark! *g* Wonder how much he costs...
I don't think we can afford him, Cleo! Especially after Lex finished making us sorry for poaching on his territory. *g*