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Even though I didn't get to see "Velocity," I did read everybody's recaps of it. And my one thought about the whole Clark and Lex thing was: clearly a blowjob is in order.

So I wrote one.



Penance
by Lenore

Clark hasn't seen Lex since he walked away with that unsurprised look of disappointment on his face. He knows he won't see him again until he makes the first move. Lex gave him a chance and the ball is in his court now--that's the way Lex sees things--and he always needs a cooling off period after one of Clark's more obvious lies. Clark uses the time to try to figure out how to smooth things over without offering up the one thing that would really make a difference, without actually telling Lex the truth.

It takes three days of contemplating what he's going to say--or more likely do--before he braves the mansion. He finds Lex on the sofa, feet up on the coffee table, laptop balanced on his knees, a pile of papers propped up on a throw pillow beside him.

Clark hovers in the doorway waiting for him to glance up. When he does, he smiles, although there's an ironic shimmer in his eyes, as well.

"Clark."

"Hey. I, uh-- Are you busy?"

It's a stupid question, Clark knows, when the evidence of Lex's busyness is everywhere to be seen.

Still, Lex is cordial. "Have a seat."

He sits, careful not to disturb Lex's files.

"How's your father doing?"

"Okay," Clark tells him. "Although stubborn. Mom's had her hands full trying to keep him on the diet the doctor s gave him."

"Knowing your mother I'm sure she'll ultimately prevail."

Clark grins. "You're probably right."

Lex smiles back, and things feel almost natural between them again.

Almost.

Lex eyes him curiously, but doesn't ask what he wants. It is Clark's move, after all.

The moment presses heavily, and Clark's already sweating too much. "Um. You know what you said the other day? About friends doing anything for each other?"

"I do." Lex's gaze is steady, his expression opaque, giving nothing away.

"Sometimes you can't give a friend what he wants, but you'd do anything to make it up to him."

He lays his hand on Lex's thigh and leaves it there, a tight feeling clenching his throat while he waits for Lex's response

Before his reckless days in Metropolis, he never imagined that sex could be a form of apology. He was introduced to the notion one night in a dark alley, going down on some stranger he'd picked up in a bar. The guy clutched at his shoulders and just kept shouting: "Show me how sorry you are. Make it up to me. Make it all up to me."

The first time he offered Lex the penance of his mouth in lieu of the truth was after Van McNulty's meteor-mutant witch hunt, atonement for letting Lex believe he was the only freak in the room. Clark might not have been able to come clean with his secrets, but he could get down on his knees. Lex had been too startled to say no.

Clark never expected it to become a habit, but then, he'd never expected the nightmare of Belle Reve. Lex had been so different, so off balance after everything they'd done to him, everything Clark had failed to prevent. It seemed only natural to try to make it better, and Lex had been too shaken to turn down comfort, even the kind that sprang from guilt.

It's become Clark's worst fear that the day will come when Lex stops letting him work off his infractions this way. He can only hope it won't be today.

"You know, Clark, " Lex finally says, after long drumbeats of silence. "There are some sacrifices friends can't in good conscience accept from one another."

Clark lets out his breath in relief. This kind of hesitation he can deal with.

"What if sacrifice has nothing to do with it?" He starts to move his hand on Lex's leg, palm sliding over the smooth fabric of his trousers, fingers kneading the strong muscles underneath.

Lex's breath catches, and his eyes turn a dark shade of simmer. Clark moves quickly before either of them can think better of it, shifting the laptop to the coffee table, sliding off the couch, making a place for himself between Lex's thighs. He opens Lex's pants, and then Lex's cock is under his fingers, rising to meet his touch.

He likes the way Lex's cock feels on his tongue--always has--the hardest thing he can imagine, but also the silkiest, sliding past his lips like butter candy. He traces patterns along the shaft because he knows Lex admires artistry, and swirls his tongue around the head like an ice cream cone because that makes Lex whimper. He rubs his hands over Lex's thighs, and Lex strokes his hair like Clark is much more to him than someone who owes him an explanation. When Lex comes in his mouth, Clark feels almost clean again.

Lex squeezes his eyes tightly shut as he recovers from his orgasm, and Clark rests his head on his belly, listening to the rush of his breath.

"I'm sorry," he whispers. And it's probably the most honest thing he'll ever say in his whole life.

Lex's hands close on his shoulders, urging him up. He's met with the hot, insistent press of Lex's mouth on his. He sighs against Lex's lips and leans in, curving one hand along the smooth curve of his head. They've never kissed before, and it feels more intimate to have Lex's tongue in his mouth than it did even his cock.

Lex strings a line of kisses along his jaw. "I'm sure there must be something I should apologize to you for."

He slides his hand into Clark's pants. Clark's hips surge forward, and their eyes meet, a hot frisson of understanding passing between them. They both know a time will come when mouths and hands--not even love--will save them from the lies. Clark closes his eyes and gives himself over to Lex's touch. He's just glad that time isn't now.

Date: 2004-02-12 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tamalinn.livejournal.com
ah, i've been waiting for a fic where clark said something to lex about his s2 behavior. thanks for writing it. and for the thing clark says turning out to be giving a blow job. :O)

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 05:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
With Smallville, I like to believe that there have been apologies. They've just ended up on the editing room floor. :)

Or, at least, that Clark has made it up to Lex in other ways. *eg*

Date: 2004-02-13 12:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hackthis.livejournal.com
Stop confusing my bitterness with The Hotness. Really. I'm trying to be bitter, you're not helping matters. Also, this made me a bit sad, too. Why are you doing this to me?

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Hee! Sorry, Zahra!

But that is the truth about Clark and Lex, I do believe. They're not bittersweet. They're bitterblistering. *bg*

Date: 2004-02-13 12:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fleegull.livejournal.com
Clark needs to apologize more often, especially if he does it this way.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 05:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
He says he's sorry so pretty, doesn't he? *g*

Date: 2004-02-13 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lynn221.livejournal.com
Fantastic!!!! Thank you:0)

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 05:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
*hugs* Thanks, Lynn! I'm so glad you thought so!

Date: 2004-02-13 12:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeejunkii.livejournal.com
well, this makes it a little better. at least clark apologizes.

it's also so bittersweet, seeing them buy time. okay, so technically, yes, they are heading towards the Inevitable, but *sigh*...i really wish they weren't.

wah! good thing i have a condo in egypt.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 07:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I really wish they weren't moving toward the inevitable too, Coffeejunkii! It makes me so sad.

*checks real estate listings in Egypt*

I love your icon, btw! How adorable!

Date: 2004-02-13 12:35 am (UTC)
ext_14661: (Default)
From: [identity profile] selfinduced.livejournal.com
*squirms in seat*
guh.
fuck.

so sad yet undeniably hot.

guh! i say.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 07:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Thanks, doll! Everyone's descriptios of "Velocity" sounded so bittersweet to me. And I really did feel this was the least Clark could do for Lex. *g*

Glad you liked it!

Date: 2004-02-13 12:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mecurtin.livejournal.com
his eyes turn a dark shade of simmer.

mrowrr! totally.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 07:32 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Lex is so hot! Isn't it wrong that I won't even care that he's become a criminal mastermind?

Date: 2004-02-13 12:45 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hallucinateme.livejournal.com
You and [livejournal.com profile] hackthis are officially my favorite SV writers.

Oh, I loved this.

*savors*

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 07:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Awwww! That is such a sweet, sweet thing to say. And I'm incredibly flattered to be included alonside Zahra.

I'm so glad you liked this, doll! *hugs*

Date: 2004-02-13 12:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pepperjackcandy.livejournal.com
"What if sacrifice has nothing to do with it?"

Squee!

(oh, and I'm in beta-reading mode, so forgive me for saying that it's probably "various" spoilers rather than "vicarious," since I doubt it has someone/thing else's spoilers for him/her/it)

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 07:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Glad you liked it!

Hee! I guess my cut-tag didn't make the most sense in the world. I really meant "second-hand spoilers." Since I hadn't seen the episode. :)

Date: 2004-02-13 01:00 am (UTC)
celli: a woman and a man holding hands, captioned "i treasure" (Default)
From: [personal profile] celli
Clearly in order.

Yum.

Thank you for writing this!

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 07:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Clearly! Yes! I'm glad you see it the same way. :)

And I'm glad you liked this! *hugs*

Date: 2004-02-13 01:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] luvmax1.livejournal.com
Do you have to put up new fic on the same day I get my new glasses? It looked a little blurry, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Nothing helps new glasses dizziness like smut!

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 07:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Hee! I'm touched that you'd go ahead and read it even though it was making you dizziness. I hope things are less blurry today, doll!

Date: 2004-02-13 01:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] acampbell.livejournal.com
Well, that helped a little. Really, it was the least Clark could do.

Very nice! (I'm still mad at Clark, though. And Pete. And Jonathan.)

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 07:38 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I think I may be glad I didn't actually see the ep. I'd prefer just to concentrate on the idea of Clark making it up to Lex. :)

Glad you liked this, doll! Thanks!

Date: 2004-02-13 01:38 am (UTC)
ext_988: (Default)
From: [identity profile] ingrid-m.livejournal.com
Okay, that helps.

*douses self in ice water*

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Hee! Glad I could help, Ingrid!

Date: 2004-02-13 02:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] siobhan-w.livejournal.com
All is definitely forgiven!

Now if we could just get those two boys to talk...

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 07:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
It's so true, Siobhan! If they would just have one honest conversation. *shakes head*

Oh, well. I guess they'll just have to get by on blowjobs somehow. *bg*

Date: 2004-02-13 02:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] obiness.livejournal.com
Lovely, just lovely.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 07:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Thanks you so much, doll! I'm so glad you thought so. :)

Re:

Date: 2004-02-13 09:08 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] coffeejunkii.livejournal.com
the icon was made by [livejournal.com profile] muse_attack.

she actually made a bunch of egypt icons for everyone who's in denial. they are at her lj and shareable :)

Date: 2004-02-13 03:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pearl898.livejournal.com
This is sweet, but so sad that this seems to be the only truth between them.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-15 02:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
There was a lot of sadness about the state of their relationship after "Velocity" in the recaps I read on my friends list. It really doesn't seem like a good development when Clark starts lying to Lex about things other than his secret.

But I still like to think they could work it out somehow!

Date: 2004-02-13 04:00 am (UTC)
cruisedirector: (Default)
From: [personal profile] cruisedirector
I didn't get to see it yet either but I already feel better about it. *mwah*

Re:

Date: 2004-02-15 02:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
*hugs* I'm glad, doll! I'm still curious to see the ep. I'm going to try to download it.

Date: 2004-02-13 04:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nerodi.livejournal.com
"I'm sorry," he whispers. And it's probably the most honest thing he'll ever say in his whole life.

This was really touching. (I mean it, i'm not being sarcatic!!) I loved this. Sense of sadness permeating. Very touching.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-15 02:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm glad you thought it was touching. (And not in a sarcastic way. *g*) Everyone's description of that scene between Clark and Lex just seemed kind of sad, like you could feel their relationship unravelling in the moment.

Okay, I'm going back to denial now!

Date: 2004-02-13 05:42 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] phoiniks.livejournal.com
"...And my one thought about the whole Clark and Lex thing was: clearly a blowjob is in order.

So I wrote one."

> Agree. Am so glad you follow it through. Hmm... do you think Clark and Lex need a blowjob after every episode ?

> Great story btw.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-15 02:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I think a blowjob after every episode is an excellent idea, Phoiniks! *g*

And I'm glad you like this story! :)

Date: 2004-02-13 07:09 am (UTC)
ext_7408: (Default)
From: [identity profile] yavannauk.livejournal.com
Mmm, bittersweet and hot, very nice.

Re:

Date: 2004-02-15 02:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Thanks, Yavanna! Clark may lie to Lex, but I like to think that actions speak louder than words. :)

Date: 2004-02-13 05:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] garryowen.livejournal.com
Oh. This story makes me so sad. Argh. Things are just getting so unclexy on the show. I can't stand it! Clark was such a dick this week! What is his friggin' problem? Even this blow job cannot assuage my grumpiness. But it helps!! Thanks, Lenore. :)

Re:

Date: 2004-02-15 02:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
I'm kind of glad that I didn't actually get to see the ep, although I'm still annoyed at the reason I missed it. The one thing that always makes me feel better whenever Clark has been a dick is that there's not enough continuity on Smallville for it to have truly lasting implications. Next week they could be back to being totally in-love boyfriends. You never know!

*hugs*

Date: 2004-02-14 01:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] giddyfangirl.livejournal.com
Mmmmmmm. Hot. Also sweet, and sad. *sniffledrool*

Re:

Date: 2004-02-15 02:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] scribblinlenore.livejournal.com
Hee! I think "sniffledrool" just perfectly sums up my reaction to Clark and Lex. Thanks for the new terminology, doll! :)

And I'm glad you liked this!

Date: 2004-02-16 05:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] giddyfangirl.livejournal.com
Heh. You're welcome; there are no words in the English language to adequately describe Lex and Clark, so smooshing other words together seemed like the logical step. *g*

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